Today is the day h cheated, Aibu?

[Jamandcheese]

Am I right to be annoyed? Today is the day h cheated on me.

He had a work thing to go to and said he would come home after that. He has now emailed and said that his work colleague, who I know very well, has said that they could go out and he could stay over.

I know he has asked me if it's ok and said that if I say no he will come home. But shouldn't he know that today is o hard for me. That I should come first for him. I'm not here to tell him his responsibilities, am I?

The only reason I know what day it happened is that it's the same day my uncle died. An uncle who I was really close to. So I'm being reminded about what day it is no matter who I talk to. If it had been any other day, maybe I wouldn't have kept track.

I just wish he took responsibility for his own actions. He should know that he is a father to two kids under 2. Our problems always happen on these spur of the moment plans. He has got himself into so many problems from these.

And that list is too long to type. I need him to grow up. He didn't have clothes for work. And he was late. He has already been warned about things like that.

I can understand why you aren't happy. It also sounds as if you are all sorts of other issues in this marriage. But it's not healthy to mark this unhappy anniversary.

So what you are saying if he decides to make last minute plans it usually means he shags some random woman and then turns up late for work?

A year after such a devistating thing to happen is nothing and I'm shocked that the OP is being told to move on.

Whilst I'm sure the OP didn't quite mean an anniversary.

If the op was upset and feeling senstive why on earth couldn't he have got a babysitter and taken her out instead of making arrangements to stay away avoid any responsibility

OP sweetheart, this man is always going to be a selfish manchild arse

She is hurting
She is especially hurt on this day

Are you saying you dont trust him today?

I don't trust him like I used to. I don't love him like I used to.

He broke my trust again getting caught drink driving. We could, depending on the outcome, lose so much. He put everything at risk, again. I thought he would have learnt.

But now he is annoyed at me as I should have told him what to do. So I don't have a right o be annoyed. But I'm tired of telling hin what his responsibilities are, FFS. He should know by now

Im sure you don't OP. Will you ever? this is the question you need to ask yourself. Will he ever stop this type of behaviour?

He won't sweetheart, he really won't. He will continue to turn it all round to be your fault of course.

Hope you're OK tonight JamAndCheese ?

BTW As a kid I had a friend who introduced me to the delights of "Cheese and treacle" (meaning golden syrup) And I enjoyed some fig jam on peanut butter on toast at teatime today

I agree that it's insensitive. Whether it meant anything to him or not, it hurt you. You've been the bigger person to forgive him but forgetting isn't so easy. He shouldn't have to grovel to you forever otherwise what was the point in giving it another go, however, he does need to accept that you will be sensitive about this for A LONG time and definitely not take liberties by staying away on the anniversary of the cheat!

JugglingwithFiveRings That is such a nice post. X

For
the
love
of
fucking
God

The OP posted in relationships that she was going top hotel last night
And her posting history has implied suicide before

Leave
it
alone

Awh thanks - I just get distracted by peoples NN's and wonder what's behind them !

Hey hoops - that seems a bit strong - but I accept you're concerned for OP.

Juggling Jumping and Jam is making my eyes go funny.

No advice really to offer Jamandcheese just wanted to give some support and sympathy. My "anniversary" was in May of this year and i totally understand how you are feeling. Perhaps him being away is for the best as looking at his face all day with all the bad memories associated with this day last year could in a weird way be even worse iyswim. I think what got me through was the knowledge that i have chosen of my own free will to try to forgive and forget and as hard as that has been and continues to be every single day I know that if I let the anger, betrayal, heartbreak etc take over me then I would be leting his actions change the person that I am. x