To think it is a bit pointless to pussyfoot around it?

[TheQueenOfDiamonds]

My 3 year old daughter has been killing some frogs. She's never done it with me (We actually used to have various types of exotic frogs, so she knows they are animals, and she knows to be gentle with animals). S

She did it at her grandma's house. She squashes them and then waits for them to get back up. Her grandma told her that they won't get back up because when you squish them they go to sleep forever.

I'm not here to moan about her Grandma as a person, but to me, that seems a bit pointless. She knows what sleeping is, she knows sleeping doesn't harm you. So surely, telling her the frog has gone to sleep isn't going to discourage her from doing it?

She knows what hurting is, I asked DD what she did to the frogs and she told me she squished them, so I've told her not to because it hurts them.

Would it be better to suggest to GM that she says this if she does it again? The sleeping thing really baffled me.

Oh of course shelly but I just mean it's the same logic. How can the ops dd at age 3 understand the difference between killing say a wasp, fly or rat, to killing a frog?

No I'm not saying it's fine at all and if it was ds he'd be getting a firm telling off and not be allowed back outside until he understood. But I'm just saying I think we send some very mixed messages and I don't think it's anything to be too horrified about.

It is a fair point about the killing insects vs killing cute fluffy things but I think the meat argument is irrelevant here - a 3yo child doesn't see or probably know about that and the killing is totally detached to buying it in the supermarket. Not like seeing an animal die or get injured in front of you.

I think the telling thing in your post is that your ds would be getting a 'firm telling off'. This hasn't gone on here and most probably should have. As for the eating frogs..just trying to amuse myself

I agree yellow. If your gonna kill a spider or fly in the house then how will a child know the difference. And morally it is the same.
She eats dead animals too (most likely) why is that ok?
I don't think children of that age understand empathy very well but that's what they need to learn.

RevoltingPeasant has it spot on, you should be disgusted OP. those poor poor frogs, if any child of mine killed any living thing they would get a very sharp smack on the bum.

Also, a three year old (particularly given that the OP says her DD is 'waiting for the frogs to get back up again') might have seen some cartoons where the characters get, for instance, run over by trucks and then leap up and dust themselves down. She doesn't understand, yet. So it's up to the OP to teach her, but without blaming her or considering her a monstrous evil child.

Also just re reading and saw the line

"Would it be better to suggest to GM that she says this if she does it again"

If she does it again? Seriously?

I do agree with some of the other posters who have said she may not realise what she has done is wrong (even though I personally don't think this is normal 3 year old behaviour) but now it's been done surely you would make sure she doesn't do it again and if you think she still might then you have bigger problems to worry about than what Granny says.

Hey they do it in France not my cup of tea though!

floranora lol are you trying to start an MN bunfight

yellow Here's your cup of tea

a firm smack on the bum ha yes that makes sense, so a 3 year old who has very little understanding of the world as it is, hurts an animal so mummy hurts them. Ye that makes good fecking sense

Children are cruel little scientists sometimes.

I guess we find it most... distasteful, disturbing, to kill creatures that we can imagine hurting. So I'd feel worse to step on a bird than I would the bird's dinner, a worm, say. Or I'd feel worse if I ran over an old man than if I ran over a badger with my car.

If you're 3, you probably can't imagine that hurt in any of the other creatures around you very well yet. She's just thinking about the world. She's 3, not a murderer.

I don't even think saying 'sleeping' is that bad, if you say it's forever. The concept of death is hard to grasp for small children, I think. It's as good as anything.

Bloody hell I don't think the OP deserves a kicking over this

Yes, she needs to have a firm word with her child about killing things but some people are going way OTT with their anger towards the OP.

sgb talks sense.

I personally would assume that a 3yr old would know the difference between stamping on a frog...causing it immense suffering before it died... and killing flies.

But when I question myself, I don't know why I assume that.

I'm quite sure the OP will come down hard on her DD about this (I hope so anyway) but I don't think she deserves a flaming over it.

Why though really? Because flies are lower in the food chain and are icky? I reckon the flies suffer pretty bad after being squirted with fly killer and left to wriggle to their death. Can anyone actually remember being 3?

Another good point about cartoons. I think my DCs can tell the difference - they just would not hurt an animal like a frog even though they laugh at wile e coyote getting blown up - but I don't know what age that awareness develops.

Come to think of it DD did kill some bugs once, she started jumping on them on the path when our neighbour's DS was doing it, I told her not to.

'a firm smack on the bum ha yes that makes sense, so a 3 year old who has very little understanding of the world as it is, hurts an animal so mummy hurts them' - wouldn't bloody do it again though would they!

lol

Well actually floranora they quite possibly would do it again, I got lots of smacks as a child and all it did for me was make me hate and despise my parents to this day for hurting me. But then some of us don't believe that a smack is the answer to all of the problems. I seem to be doing pretty well without smacking my 4 year old.

Words that my parents lived by and that worked with me when I was a naughty little brat Flora Those words don't go down well on here though for some reason..

of course it is not the answer to all the problems, I don't recall saying it was. I personally would say this is a bad problem, and I personally would smack MY child if I ever caught them doing something so revolting! I didn't say I would beat my child senseless, but I do feel that something as serious as killing animals requires more then a pussyfooted response. my parents smacked me, and I don't see anything wrong with it, I certainly didn't go around killing innocent animals and I haven't killed anyone else yet

yellow Really? You ended up despising your parents? Maybe my smacks weren't hard enough then! I remember several smacks on my bum and I bloomin' well deserved them! I was a nightmare child (cine film proves it) and must have driven my parents to distraction! I love them for bringing me up well and teaching me right from wrong. I'm sure if they could have done it without resorting to smacks, they would have, I'm the type of child who if spoken to in a reasonable manner: 'Darling, don't pull your baby sister's hair out she doesn't really like it' or 'Darling, please don't steal cookies from the jar, theer were 20 there this morning, now there are only two. ' etc..would continue to do exactly what I wanted. A smack brought home the reality that I was doing something I shouldn't have been.

For the record, neither of my girls (2.5) have had a smacked bum....yet. They must take after their father !

Shelly32 its crazy isn't it! I can just imagine them "please Milo, don't stab Hugo, that's not nice now is it......"

At least our parent had some sense!

I very much doubt that the ops dd actually realises that she is killing animals to her it's a game and I very much doubt that smacking her bum will help her to realise that she is killing and that it is wrong and cruel.