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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to do this?

62 replies

witchface · 16/08/2012 21:24

It's my birthday on Sunday. I can be a bit awkward about presents - not because I want particular things but because there is nothing I really want. I would honestly rather people just said happy birthday and made me feel a bit special than get something which I don't want or need. If someone wants to give me a present I feel I am easy - I love bath things and chocolates stuff I will use/eat and not clutter up the house.

However, my husband wants to get me the perfect present. It's nice of him of course but he starts to torture me weeks before. "What do you want? What do you want?" This goes on. I see he wants to get me something nice so I told him I would like some perfume and am quite happy to go shopping with him to get it (before my birthday - no shopping on my birthday I have been there before, it's depressing.)

Last night he starts saying I don't know what to get you, there is one thing I think you will like or another that would have to be joint christmas and birthday what do you think? Well with that information I can't really make a decision, can I? I say that if I was getting a joint present I would rather have it on christmas morning. Oh, he says, I got my laptop as soon as you bought it! Yes, because you wanted it, I would rather wait but hey it doesn't seem to be my choice.

The next thing he says is I have ordered it and can you take me to get it on friday (he can't drive so I need to take him anywhere not walking distance, even if there is a bus usually). Ok... he finishes work at 10am so thats fine I think we'll be going to the next town 30 mins away. No, he can only get it a 1 hour 40 minute drive away! What? It would be lunchtime when we get there. Its the arse end of nowhere so nothing to do/see and then 1 hour 40 minutes back again. With our 3 year old.

Seriously when I don't even care what I get this is really stressing me out! I have said we will go because he obviously thinks whatever he is getting me is great but I really don't want to. AIBU?

OP posts:
DairyNips · 17/08/2012 14:12
Grin
mamamibbo · 17/08/2012 14:14

:o a tank full of hamsters :o

HeadfirstOverTheHighJump · 17/08/2012 14:22

What is it? A tank full of diamond shoe wearing puppies?!

stemginger · 17/08/2012 14:24

tell him you'd like a course of driving lessons

CommaChameleon · 17/08/2012 14:34

Yes, laugh at my pain why don't you? Grin

OP have you got it yet?

LisaMed · 17/08/2012 14:39

Actually, OP, I really hate this. I have actually come near to tears about the same thing. What it comes down to is that the person buying the present is saying...

You have told me you want bubbles/chocolate. If I buy you this you will not bow down and worship me at the magnificence of your present. People will not ooooooh and aaaaaah at the magnificence of your present. You may want bubbles/chocolate but that is a gift that will not satisfy me, therefore you cannot have what you want. And as I am too lazy or unobservant to think of something suitably magnificent that will make you worship me and have other people go oooooh and aaaaaah then you must think of it. Now.

OP - in your case, even your convenience is not considered. You must also drive miles so that etc etc etc.

What I would really like, and what I have explicitly stated, is something like this which is one whole shiny pound coin. What I get is usually thanked profusely, gratefully received and then donated. Why can't people buy me less?

OP - I hope you have a great birthday. Next year stand firm on bubbles and chocolate.

MushroomSoup · 17/08/2012 15:45

This will either be the world's best present or totally shit!!

chocoluvva · 17/08/2012 15:52

OP, don't feel bad about feeling ungrateful. I know how you feel. DH will ask me what I'd like for my birthday/christmas too. I don't want anything much spent on me. A surprise would be lovely. If I say , 'Nice shower cream' or 'A new umbrella' he's likely to reply that those aren't 'proper' presents and be cross that I'm not coming up with a good idea for my own birthday!
He wants to be seen to be getting some great thing but can't be bothered thinking what it could be.
I'll keep your fingers crossed that your long drive is worth it!

Sazzle41 · 17/08/2012 16:46

If someone wants to make a fuss tho and buy a 'big' present (and you can afford it) why not give them suggestions tho ? Some people do like to make big things of birthdays and enjoy finding just the right thing ...so why not turn it into win win and think of something that would really be a nice/special present ... bubbles or choc are a bit workaday/ordinary stuff i would buy as a normal weekend treat tbh these days but when i was on a budget they would have been fine too...

LadyBeagleEyes · 17/08/2012 16:47

I hope Op comes back with a puppy

TheCunnyFunt · 17/08/2012 17:19

I wanted an ice cream maker for my 21st in June. It was a kenwood one that I'd seen, half price at £20. But I didn't get it because DP didn't want one Hmm instead I got a bag of minstrels, 2 bottles of strawberry and lime cider, a gerbera in a pot and a pandora bracelet that had been purchased since christmas. Yes I like minstrels and cider but it wasn't what I wanted. And DP knows not to buy me pot plants as I always kill them. The gerbera is long dead. And it's only just been 2 months since my birthday. I just cannot keep pot plants alive.

TheCunnyFunt · 17/08/2012 17:20

Oooh it's friday today! I keep thinking it's thursday :o

Come on OP!!

ratbagcatbag · 17/08/2012 17:26

Shamelessly marking place to see what present you got :)

HildaOgden · 17/08/2012 17:30

I bet it's a horse :)

BigRedIndiaRubberBall · 17/08/2012 19:42

A made to measure rubber catsuit?

LadyBeagleEyes · 18/08/2012 16:13

Bumping this because I still want to know what Op's gift was.
Come back witchface

CaliforniaLeaving · 18/08/2012 17:10

Darn it, mumsnet needs a like button, some of the suggestions are so funny.

amicissimma · 18/08/2012 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissFaversam · 18/08/2012 17:47

My ex used to do this.

Him - "I'm going to get you a new laptop"
Me - "Aw thanks but I don't need one, I'd rather some perfume"
Him - "Yes you do, it's far better than the thing you have"

So I got one.

Repeat for Phone after telling him a squillion times that I didn't like touch phones.

I totally get what you're saying OP. YANBU

Pancakeflipper · 18/08/2012 17:53

.... Just hanging around to see what it is.......

Doing a really attractive snorting laugh over the tank full of hamsters.

Bubbless · 18/08/2012 17:57

marking my place, very interesting........

maybe its something really romantic like a quaint little resturant by the sea hense the drive?
[wishful thinking]

TheCunnyFunt · 18/08/2012 18:39

Come on OP!

fryingpantoface · 18/08/2012 19:24

Marking my place

GodisaDj · 18/08/2012 19:30

OP come back? Grin

itsatrap · 20/08/2012 11:04

Im beginning to think its all a ruse on dh side, and the op has been whisked off on a romantic break!

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