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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to justify DS going to nursery!

50 replies

startwig1982 · 16/08/2012 19:40

I'm a teacher and so, obviously, I'm off at the moment. As I work pt, DS goes to nursery 3 days a week. We have to pay regardless of whether he goes or not. Consequently, he's been going during the holidays as normal apart from a few odd days when we're going away.
I've had to explain this to several people who have stopped me and asked where DS is and pil have questioned him going to nursery. I'm a bit sick of having to justify spending a bit of time with DH and being able to do some housework without a little helper! DS is 14 mo and still very reliant on us. Is it so wrong just to want to have a little time to ourselves?

OP posts:
lovelyredwine · 16/08/2012 19:45

Not at all. I have friends who are teachers and they do this too. Their kids all go at least once or twice a week in school hols. I am always quite envious! Just because you have a child does not mean that you cease to exist as anything other than a parent. You and your husband are lucky to be able to have that time together whilst still spending loads of time with ds.

On another note, he may be very unsettled going back to nursery after 6 weeks of not going. We went on a 4 week trip when dd was 15 months and then had to go through the 'settling in' period at nursery all over again when we got back!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 16/08/2012 19:45

YANBU at all. My ds is 7 yrs old and I am a childminder so have him at home while I am working. On top of that, he is being a pain in the arse. Any chance your DS's nursery could take my Not So Very D S??

Back to your situation: it is a good idea to keep your DS in the routine of going to nursery. Keeping him off for 6 weeks will probably mean settling him in again when you go back to work. Also, time away from each other is not always bad!

It is definitely not wrong to want time to yourselves. If people ask over and over again where your child is perhaps just say you did not want him to miss out on the fun he has when he is there. Or something like that. But I can appreciate that it can be a pain.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 16/08/2012 19:46

Yanbu. I'm also a teacher and lucky enough to have a term time contract. DS loves nursery though so i've sent him for two days per week over the summer. Nursery say most teachers do it. No-one's questioned it though except mum because she wanted to play with her DGS when she visited

Geranium3 · 16/08/2012 19:46

maybe one day a week but to me3days sounds alot for a 14month old when both his mum and dad are at home, they really do grow up soooo quickly and personally especially at this time of year i would want to be out and about with my PFB

EclecticShock · 16/08/2012 19:46

Not at all... Ignore them.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 16/08/2012 19:48

Three days away from you a week leaves you 4 together - with very little housework to DIY to do, shopping done, ironing done etc etc etc. YANBU.

Meglet · 16/08/2012 19:48

yanbu. I've always sent the dc's to nursery on my days off (not a teacher though). I wouldn't get anything done otherwise.

NatashaBee · 16/08/2012 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scummymummy · 16/08/2012 19:51

yanbu. Ignore ignore ignore.

LindyHemming · 16/08/2012 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirBoobAlot · 16/08/2012 19:52

If it had been me I think I may well have reduced it by a session or two to enjoy some more time with him, but completely understand why you have kept him going. You don't have to explain to anyone!

charlottehere · 16/08/2012 19:52

YANBU. I don't work and my DD is at nursery 3 days a week.

squeakytoy · 16/08/2012 19:53

YABU really, if these people normally only see you when you are with him unless you are working. It is a perfectly normal question to ask a mother if you bump into her and she has no child with her.

stressheaderic · 16/08/2012 19:53

I'm a teacher and my DD goes 3 days a week too. I've been sending her for 2 days a week except this week when she's gone the full 3 days so I can shop, organise and pack for our holiday next week.
Must admit, we've not made it in before 9.30am yet, loving our lie-ins!

Noqontrol · 16/08/2012 19:55

Id keep him there because it will be harder for him when he has to go back to 3 days otherwise. Maybe have the odd day off here and there, but thats it.

cheekypickle · 16/08/2012 19:56

I'm a teacher (part time) and I've kept up the routine 3 days at childminders , 4 days at home. I don't feel guilty at all! She loves it at childminders

HappyMummyOfOne · 16/08/2012 19:57

One morning a week i think is fine to keep him used to it but three when you are on holiday from work seems excessive. They are only children for such a small time so i can see why people would make comment.

MulberryMoon · 16/08/2012 19:58

"if these people normally only see you when you are with him unless you are working. It is a perfectly normal question to ask a mother if you bump into her and she has no child with her. " Good point squeakytoy If I'm out and about and my dd's are with my dh outside school time, then people will always ask where they are. They are just wondering, completely normal.

WilsonFrickett · 16/08/2012 19:59

I always sent DS to nursery when I had time off, OK maybe not at his usual drop off and pick up time (7.30 / 5pm) but I'd take him in around ten-ish and go and get him around 4. And I'd have some time off all my jobs, not just the one that pays the wages.

frootshoots · 16/08/2012 19:59

I think one or two days per week is fine when it's the holidays, but 3 days per week does seem a lot for such a small baby. Fair enough when you are at work, but if you're off... then why would you not want to spend more time with him than usual? I'd kill for just one day off per week, never mind three!

Original poster
startwig1982 · 16/08/2012 20:00

Thanks all for making me feel that it's ok! We have been doing so many other lovely things on our days together, like the zoo, beach, nt places, animal places etc, so I don't think he's missed out. DH and I have managed to go to Bath Thermae Spa, have lunch together and go to see the batman film! It's the most time we've spent together since before DS was born - hurrah! Smile

OP posts:
cheekypickle · 16/08/2012 20:03

Sounds great :)

MulberryMoon · 16/08/2012 20:04

I agree with frootshoots

cheekypickle · 16/08/2012 20:07

So 2 days is fine but 3 days isn't??

WelshMaenad · 16/08/2012 20:08

YANBU.

I'd just tell people that the nursery have told you to keep sending him to keep him in a routine and avoid distressing him come September. Then if they argue they look like churlish buggers who don't care about a little baby's FEELINGS, so they will shut up.