not to cook for my sister, BIL, niece and BF

[FunnysInLaJardin]

when they visit next week? They are all veggie/vegan and wheat free. They are staying in self catering accommodation when they visit, but I know they will turn up each night at aprox 7pm expecting a veggie/vegan wheat free meal.

I have told them I will cook for 2 nights and that is it. I work FT and have 2 small DC. I know IANBU btw, just thought I'd share the horror that is my family.

Or " A quick cup of tea before you go then" again the cheerfull upward inflection is a must and of course implies no alcohol as you'll be driving in a few minutes again when you leave.

Tomatoes are high on the intolerence list actually.

But, never mind them being fusspots....... you work then come home and have to cook? You should be coming home to dinner on the table as a thank you

Self catering....the clue is in the name :)

This is definitely the wrong way round. When we stayed in a self catering holiday house vaguely near my SIL, she'd turn up just after breakfast and say "we'll go home for tea" - so our holiday was spent catering for them in our crappy 2 saucepans and 5 plates holiday let

I'd say No to the BBQ too. Everytime we have stayed in Self Catering there has been a BBQ provided for then guests use. Otherwise can she not buy some of those disposable grills.

Fucking cheek. I'd count myself lucky if you offered (that's OFFERED, not 'were expected') to cook one night as a treat/special occasion.

You're being too generous agreeing to cook at all. You should do it on your terms e.g. when/if you want.

And tell them that they can pick up a disposable BBQ from all good petrol stations. I would have thought the clue was in the name of their holiday ? 'self-catering'.

Tomato intolerance is real, unfortunately although of course it's possible that your BIL is making his up for attention. Aren't they part of the nightshade family? A lot of people have problems with those things.

Make sure you're very clear with her, OP, because your sister has a loooonnggg history of taking the piss out of you.

Yanbu at all. cheeky feckers,glad your laying down the laq beforehand. im with the jacket potato menu. would they cook meat dishes for you op

OP are you expecting to eat with them every night regardless of who does the cooking? Because if you're not I suggest you tell your sister exactly which nights you will be catering for her, then make sure you plan a meat-rich meal for the other nights, just to make it plainly clear to her that you are not feeding them on those nights too.

No we won't be eating with them on the nights they don't come to ours, so no problem there, although will prob make an effort to eat meat just to clarify the point. They wouldn't cook for us full stop. It would be too much for them!

Didn't know about the tomato thing, but yes BIL is not intollerent to tomatoes as I have seen him eat them many times. They just quite like not being able to eat things. In fact my neice only seems to remember her gluten intollerence when she is reminded she has eaten wheat

expat you are right they do have a long history of this and I have a funny feeling that I post in a similar vein most years and you post to tell me that I need to tell them to fuck off again most years This year I have finally set my boundaries!

MrsTrellis what is wrong with these people. Why do folk take the piss like this

It doesn't mean being rude, just assertive and firm because she's cheeky.

I'd turn up at their place with a big juicy steak and throw it at them and tell them to get cooking it.

So you're effectively running a half board b+b for a week (or two?) every year, unwillingly, just because you happen to live somewhere people like to visit?

It's the expectation you'll cater that's extraordinary, not their dietary choices. At least if they've been veggie/vegan/wheat free for years they are consistent and predictable, whatever their motivation.

They clearly believe they are staying with you, albeit renting extra rooms. Did you ever invite them? Do you go to stay with them? Amazing. I'd think if they're on hols, with time to cook, they might be offering to do a lot of the shopping and cooking, even if they were staying in your house. Otherwise 'it's lovely you're holidaying in the area again and would be so nice to see you for an evening or two. We'll check which night works as we're both really busy at work the moment, so maybe a meal out together one night?'

YANBU!

We also live in a holiday resort and have a spare room which friends and family are welcome to use as a base but over the years ive got good at making it quite clear that while they may be on holiday, we are not so we won't be catering to their every whim. I don't mind cooking the odd night but I am not a free hotel

The celiac uk website has a list of restaurants that cater for wheat / gluten free diets, you could print them a list put for your area. I have done that for my sister before.

I think the people who are pointing out that wheat free or vegan is cheap and easy are forgetting that it's a hassle to prepare separate meals. And OP might not want to go wheat free and vegan for a week.

OP - is it worth going out at 7pm, at least for the first night they're there? It's just that otherwise they might invite themselves around for a drink and then mooch about expecting to be fed too!

Tarka dal is cheap and veggie. And you can bump up the chilli content to give them a memorable meal!

Of course YANBU. Two nights is a more than adequate gesture towards hospitality, you don't need to do any more than that. Well done for making plans clear from the start - not always easy, but saves any resentful feelings building while they are staying!

Send a text to your niece saying the BBQ is broken, you do't think you'll be replacing it this summer so if she wants to do a BBQ she should pick up some disposable ones when they do the big shop.

After that, decide what you're prepared to do (2 meals) and stick to it, make it clear, do'nt waver, if they turn up, say you thought you had been clear which days you'd cook for them and you are having meat tonight - if you have to eat steak with blue cheese sauce for a full week, so be it.

(Now I want steak and blue cheese sauce)

Yes, at least the dietary thing means they can't expect you to feed them some of your meal, meat pie all week I think!

You can be intolerant or allergic to ANYTHING. I am severely allergic to Kidney beans, tea and red wine. Not nice to not have any of them. But I am SERIOUSLY ill if I did eat or drink any of them, vomiting for 24 hrs and with hives do severe, I have to have an injection to get rid of the hives!

But they are still BU.

So much wrong with this, but for me the biggest piss take is DN and her birthday celebrations the fact that she's been raised to believe that Aunty Funny is there to be used. even though you may actually want to celebrate your niece's birthday aren't you already busy that day? I'm sure your DH has organised something that means the whole family will out and the house securely locked.

Other than that, I would get home from work, flop on the sofa and have a quick convo with DH about which of the local take aways to order dinner from.

What did they say when you set them straight? Cheeky beggars!