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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my mate and her oh..

74 replies

advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 15:10

Are being Wankers?
Friends oh has a 13 yr old son, with learning difficulties.
Just seen that they have put a pic on fb of the child having a tantrum, to shame him into changing his behaviour.
Now correct me if I'm wrong but a child with autism having a 3 hr crying fit over something really doesn't need someone doing that.

OP posts:
Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 18:59

No I don't know his mum. I'm furious with my friend tho. I honestly expect more from.her.

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 15/08/2012 19:00

Mm can you not find the child's mum on fb? Could she be friends with the dad? If this was my son I'd want to know!

DozyDuck · 15/08/2012 19:01

Btw OP so fab of you to act on this and protect this child. You could easily be turning a blind eye

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 15/08/2012 19:15

Awful!! Just awful!

Vagaceratops · 15/08/2012 19:22

If anyone did that to my son, I would murder them with my bare hands.

Fucking nasty.

GhostShip · 15/08/2012 19:26

That's disgusting. I'd really really resent that if I were the child.

OlivesTree · 15/08/2012 19:27

This is disgusting.

Well done OP for speaking up to your friend.

WilsonFrickett · 15/08/2012 19:30

I would be livid. And tracking the boys mother down via Facebook. That 'father' needs his access taken off him before he does any more damage.

JennerOSity · 15/08/2012 19:46

So shocking his Dad teams up with his 'step mum' to do stupid tricks like that it's so cruel. :(

OK so maybe, giving as much benefit of doubt as possible, they are at wits end with his outbursts - exactly how is that going to make it any better. At. All.

Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 20:22

ok, i had a reply and now im trying to calm down before i go fucking psycho on their bloody arses. pair of total wankers.
friend is not ex friend.

OP posts:
JennerOSity · 15/08/2012 20:25

Well, I think it is admirable you are choosey about your friends. I would be the same - I couldn't be all supportive and nice to a person who did tricks I despised. Hope the lads friends don't see it. Good for you for sticking up for what you believe in.

I take it the reply was something along the lines of 'what's your problem?'

LemarchandsBox · 15/08/2012 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 20:33

the reply was ''you have no idea what you are talking about, you dont deal with it every day. im his stepmum, id never do something to hurt him''

now this is where i want to tell her to fuck the fuck off.

she hasnt dealt with it every day, they see him over night every other weekend and one night a week, and she IS NOT his step mum. she is his dads girlfriend.

and i have never in the whole time i have known her, told her that she wasnt allowed an opinion on my kids purley cause she has no kids. i would respect her thoughts and listen to her.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/08/2012 20:34

God - how horrible!

Very brave of you to call them on it OP.

Maybe other people will react like you too?

Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 20:35

im fuming. and trying not to reply to the text. cause i will go for the jugular.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/08/2012 20:37

I don't blame you advise - this really sounds like they have no idea about autism at all. Sad

LemarchandsBox · 15/08/2012 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 20:41

i know it wont.
but being told i don't know how to parent a child with autisim, by someone who isn't a fucking parent at all, is narking me off.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 15/08/2012 20:42

I don't have a facebook account so I don't know all the ins and outs but can you see if anyone else has posted their disapproval?

Maybe if enough other people call them on it they may delete it?

LemarchandsBox · 15/08/2012 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
advisemewisely · 15/08/2012 20:45

no, from what i can see everyone else has basically said, ''what a stupid child''
altho, those people might not even know that the kid has issues.

OP posts:
lastnerve · 15/08/2012 20:46

Good for you, I have a sister with autism if anyone did this I'd set fire to the bitch,

Hectates post is spot on.

Salmotrutta · 15/08/2012 20:50

Lemarchand makes a good point - if you and she are now at odds it wouldn't really matter if you sent her a text "explaining" her error.

This is really horrible if people are calling that poor lad a "stupid child" - it's bullying.

I hope the lad's mum finds out ...

JennerOSity · 15/08/2012 20:50

Well she has done something to hurt him - and if she thinks you're a good friend wouldn't you raising your concerns be enough for her to pause for thought at least and think - 'hmm maybe that wasn't so wise'

If a friend of mine flagged up something I'd done I'd certainly take it on board before getting all defensive. Really not good and total exaggeration of things to justify it too.

Oh dear - sorry you've lost a friend. :(

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 15/08/2012 20:52

My nephew is autistic and if anyone took the piss (which is what this is) I WOULD go fuckin postal.

OP, it's up to you if you want to engage further and make those points to her that you've just made to us, but I for one will back you all the way, might be worth adding a comment to the fb photo informing people that this is an autistic spectrum child who cannot control his impulses, not a freakshow for people to tut over?