Boys playing with toy guns

[Ouluckyduck]

harmless or not? What rules apply in your house? Will you even allow them, if not, why not, what are your concerns?

Six year old ds loves guns and playing cowboys, and I struggle to see the harm. Interestingly the people I mix with in the uk don't seem yo mind, but back home in Germany people are horrified.

At DS's nursery, the children are not allowed to play with guns, or to make guns from eg lego.
Before that, DS had never shown any inclination to want to (presumably as he hadn't ever seen/heard of playing with guns). Now because it's forbidden at nursery, he is obsessed with a purple water pistol that we unearthed after doing some gardening and wants to play shooting.
I allow him to (with me or DH or a visiting child who wants to play).

He previously was heavily into pirates and liked playing with a pirate cutlass, then it was knights and a knight sword. If he doesn't have the correct "toy", he'll improvise with a wooden spoon/hoover attachment/stick.
For very young children role-playing games like cowboys, pirates, knights etc I just don't buy that it will make them violent as adults or teens. In the same way as I don't buy when he role plays being a cat or a baby or a gruffalo is going to make him feline/infantile/made up character... It's just exploring and as long as the boundaries are there - so not "shooting" at children who don't want to play, not actually hitting or stabbing with the sword etc I don't see the problem.

Why boys? My DD has toy guns - little sponge rocket gun, water gun. What's the problem?

Mine have a couple of guns. I'm not bothered. I loved cap guns when I was a kid and I have yet to shoot anyone. Also those plastic knives that would push in when you stabbed someone, they were great! Do they still make them?

We have guns, swords, bows and arrows etc. They've made lego guns, but the only shape they bite out of bread or toast is mushrooms??? That's odd!

People were pretty anti-toy-guns when I was growing up (80s) but we had them. I suspect we only had them because I have an older brother. We loved them, played armies, soldiers, wars, pirates, aliens and astronauts, cowboys and indians ...
We were bloodthirsty little buggers, really. also grew up on a farm, surrounded by people enjoying bloodsports and nature murdering itself in its own bloody way.

25 years on: Dbro is a vicar. Dsis is a reception teacher. I work in fundraising for education. somehow we've all become woolly liberals, despite our savage imaginative play.

DS is only 2 and hasn't asked for a gun yet, but I won't mind if he or his younger brother get into them, I shouldn't think. As long as I'm teaching them about empathy and what pretending is, etc, I reckon they will be okay.

We don't forbid, don't encourage, don't facilitate.

So if DS makes a gun out of toilet rolls and sits at the top of the stairs 'shooting' at people, that's not a problem, but nobody is going to encourage it by paying him any attention or 'playin dead' if he shoots us.

We would never buy a toy gun, but if DS and DD run round the garden shouting 'bang, bang', nobody gets told off - but DH and I don't join in, which we might well have done if it's tag they're playing.

Squeezy bottles make for great water play, but if neighbour joins in over the fence with some fancy water blaster and gives my children a turn, it isn't a problem, they just give it back to him at the end.

We don't have a games console except a shared DS with selected games. If they visit a friend and play some kind of shooting game, that's fine but we wouldn't get that game nor encourage talk about it.

DS knows a LOT about politics, the news, war (especially the second world war). He knows that guns are for killing people. He doesn't play games that are about beating people up, or stealing, or car accidents, or poisoning, or any other things that might cause death - he doesn't treat 'playing at killing people with a gun' any differently. But it doesn't have the glamour of 'being forbidden'.

We're another Nerftastic family. Personally, I would much rather my children charged around the garden (and indeed, on some occasions, the entire neighbourhood), shooting each other with foam bullets, making "bases", hiding under bushes, etc than sat inside staring at a tv or games console.

I have my own Nerf gun under the kitchen sink.

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, no but - you don't get proper cowboy films in the the telly now! I say this as I wade through the entire load of episodes of High Chaperral on sky+

ah when men were men, had a glad eye, a fast draw, drank the town dry, had a brawl ...... oh thats just like the town centre on a Saturday night.... but they don't ride horses and make their peace with the injuns and all sorts of other exciting things like lassoing cattle and gold prospecting and helping harmless travellers and renegade union troops!

Everyone should have a little bit of the wild west in them!

me and my siblings played with guns when we were little, and ds1 also played with guns when he was younger. Me and my dbro loved making peg guns, which i would never let ds1 have. He only had toy guns, plastic ones, replica ones and his favourite were the home made ones his grandad used to carve out of wood. Im 99.99999999999% sure that neither me, any of my siblings or my ds are going to transform into gun toting maniacs due to this.

My son has a few, have no prob with them at all (even points them at people shock horror). I loved playing with them as a child and I haven't killed anyone yet, or even been violent, so IMO they don't pose any threat.

My 5 year old DS has just had a grand total of 3 guns for his birthday, a cap gun from us, to go with his cowboy outfit, and two nerf water guns as his gifts from friends, we have a selection of light sabers and guns, and I think they are great for role play, did have to explain why he's not allowed to take them to school mind!

My daughter started, like many others have said, role playing with gun shaped things, with absolutely no adult encouragement. There was a time where anything L shaped was a gun. She is having a pirate phase at the moment and loves swinging her wooden sword around the garden. She also has a full set of plastic armor! This was preceded by her doctor phase.
IMO opinion it's about balance, she has a range of toys and plays lots of different games.

Like many others here i was always of the opinion that boys playing with toy guns is a perfectly normal thing for them to do. Just as playing with toy cars is.

Tonight though i just received a visit from the police. Last night my eldest son (just turned 14) was out playing and one of his friends had brought some toy guns with him. The kind that shoot tiny plastic balls that can be bought for a couple of pound out most shops. I myself have been shot with them at point blank range and they do not hurt in the slightest. My boys love playing soldier type games with them.

Anyway last night my son shot another boy with the guns his friend had brought out, doing no injury at all. All the kids who were playing had them and were doing the same. For some reason the boy my son hit with the plastic ball went home and told his mum my son had shot him with a BB gun. These are in no way BB guns, to be honest a water pistol is as dangerous as these.

Outcome of my visit from the police tonight is my son has been charged with assault. Even the police officers charging him admit its crazy but their hands are tied. None of my children have ever been in any kind of trouble and i cant help wonder if the world has gone crazy.

I could go on and on about my thoughts about children getting wrapped up in too much cotton wool these days but i wont. Children need to be children and in society today it seems that no one will let them be just kids anymore.

Most parents these days would have a heart attack if their child built a bogey from old pram wheels like i used to and would tell their children it is much too dangerous. Everything in life is dangerous, yes we need to protect our children to the best of our abilities but there is going far too far with it. Children learn a lot from these type of "adventure" and i feel its important for them to experience as much as they can in order to help them develop into a balanced adult.

I was a girl yes, definitely. I had a cap gun. It was awesome. I think I would prefer DD to have a gun than violent video games.

My dad bought my boys a real air rifle when ds2 was 7!
Insisted that it stayed at his house and that he supervised them shooting. They had replica toy machine guns from about age 6.

They're 17 and 18 now and both lovely gentle chaps. Not at all interested in violence - not even video games.

I don't agree with children playing with guns. However I do remain passive on the matter with my children and do not actively encourage or discourage this type of play.

I believe that everyone needs a healthy respect for any weapon. I was brought up around guns and was taught from an early age that they are not a toy!

We've never banned guns but my girls have never been that interested in them.

We bought cap guns at Blackgang Chine too and they had a great time running around with them when we were there but they've sat unused in the Gounod ever since.

We have Nerf guns, most of the kids in they neighbourhood do too and they spend many happy hours charging around our little estate together with those

They've never seen or played shoot-em-up/Black Ops type computer games, we don't own any, DH prefers football/sport games so we've never had any in the house

Gounod = toybox

Bluebreeks, I'm really sorry that has happened, total over reaction. How is your son?

When my DH was a boy, a friend brought an air rifle to his house, they took pot shots with it out of the window, one of the boys hit a boy bending over mending his bicycle, hit him in the bottom. The boys parents came over, DHs parents were out at the time so they made his little sister answer the door. The parents of the boy who had been hit made it very clear that either the children responsible came over or they would be back later when DHs parents were in. The boys went over and were well and truly told off. It was a very stupid thing to do (DH still thinks it was a really lucky shot) but resolved without involving the police.

Anyway we didn't buy / encourage guns for DS1, so he made them out of lego, sticks etc We now have a large collection of plastic (not wooden they hurt) swords, light sabres etc DD1 and DS2 have picked up on it much earlier than DS1 did. I'm not worried about it, have tried to explain the Geneva convention and if a soldier surrenders you don't shoot them. It finally seems to have sunk in. I draw the line at video games at this age and for a very long time to come. DS1 is 5.

Ooh yes, ban toy guns. I love banning things. And reporting people.

I think it's a load of rubbish that there is any reason to ban guns. And like people say, even if you don't let them have guns, they will make them. DT2 is 7, and last time we went to the woods, he picked up half a tree and played 'RPGs' with it! I've taken ds1 to Spy Camp where they learn to fire air pistols and run around with laser machine guns.

I did draw the line at the the replica a neighbour gave us, because it was so realistic it could have caused issues!

On the way past the junior's gate to deliver no4 son to infants this morning, I heard a little voice say "OO I'm going to shoot DDs mam" followed by 'machine gun' sound effects. I turned round and did my full on Oscar worthy Dying Swan with "urghhh you got me" and clutching chest and collapsing (not to the floor or I'd never get up but over the safety barrier thing) and got a round of applause from several very happy small boys All with empty hands, just imaginary "guns" I should add.

regardless of how you feel personally about children playing with guns, i think it's a bit much to describe parents who are not keen as thick, wanky and privileged...

thanks everlong, i'm certainly not thick, wish i was privileged, and...
oh well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad....