To think that, actually, kids DO play out?

[BrittaPerry]

I'm sick and tired of Facebook posts, newspaper columns etc bemoaning that kids somehow never play out.

Every street I have ever lived in, and m job takes me walking and cycling round quite a few too, has had kids playing out. From about the age of 5 or 6, they are out on scooters, bikes, balls, or just doing kiddy things.

The parents just pop their heads out every now and again, and each child has a personal limit - it is quite funny to see them suddenly stop running at a certain bollard :-)

We are in a northern 'new town', but I used to live in amore traditional mill town till three years ago and it was the same. I grew up (I am only 27, we're not talking wartime) on a main road- we just went out via the back gate and ginnel.

Do I live in a different dimension to everyone else, or is it (as I suspect) all down to people just liking to moan?

(oh, and they play conkers etc too...)

I lived in a cul-de-sac about a mile out of a traditional farming/market town in Somerset, until about 3 weeks ago. There were always children playing outside in the quiet street. The gardens were small, so this was realistically the only sensible option if they wanted to ride bikes or play actual games and not just sit in a sandpit or something. The children ranged in age from about 3ish up to about 14, at which point they started doing the inevitable and wandering further afield with their similar aged friends. The various aged children all played together. In school holidays this would be until dark; at weekends it would be most of the day. They had mini skate ramps they brought out to use with their bikes and skooters, balls, space hoppers, pogo stick things, skipping ropes, and they played hide and seak and all the other stuff you'd expect. Now I live further out of town in a cottage on a farm, and my daughter is the only small child in the hamlet of about 20 houses; I hope we get some more littlies in for when she is old enough to be playing beyond the boundaries of the garden, but she is only 2 so that's a few years away anyway.

I agree with you that this issue is over-egged. I think there is certainly less playing out than used to happen in our parents' generation (I am 29 shortly), but I don't think there is any less than when I was younger and children do still play out (although I know in some areas parents are more concerned about allowing this freedom than in others). There are just more built up areas so play has changed a bit I guess. There are more parks and cul-de-sacs and less fields and commons.

I actually had no idea so many people did. I don't think people in my circles would dream of letting children roam but we do go to farms parks etc and there is a lot of countryside near us.

Isn't it something like 8 when they're deemed to have the ability to safely cross
roads?

People have their children do it here but its not something I agree with unsupervised for small children.

No one plays out here. Literally no-one. A few older kids on bikes might gather about a bit, but that is the limit. I'm in Surrey.
Loads of green space etc which we all use and gardens. That's the limit

My DSs are 4, nearly 5 and 2.

It's something in my head I really agree with - kids learn to co-operate and socialise better, entertain themselves, become more resilient.

I myself remember days of nine nine in, making dens, making perfume etc. I think it makes you stronger and more independent.

BUT, knowing all this, I still don't know WHEN I'd let DS1 out by himself. At what age do you think, they're ready? He is pretty good (I let him run ahead a bit when we go to the park), but he gets distracted and over-excited. I just don't trust yet that he has the road sense. BUT, maybe that's because he hasn't been outside by himself yet to develop the road sense. Maybe when he starts school, I'll feel a bit more confident. I really want him to play outside with friends as he gets older. I really believe it's part of growing up.

When do you know they're 'ready'?

Obviously DS2 is too young still!

We live in a village and have a small park opposite. DD2 is 6 and has been allowed to go to the park by herself for the last year. I do watch her walk round to the gate on the grass verge and most of her friends are allowed to the park too.

I just leave the front door open if she's outside and poke my head out every so often to make sure she isn't doing anything too bad.

I do think it is made a lo easier by there already being other kids out, iykwim. Dd1 is between yr and y1 and there are at least five other little girls of that age out in our street, so I know that the other parents are looking out too. Or at leas I know some of the other parents are looking out.

For me I think 6 is the very earliest I would let dd outside alone.I dont like seeing children under 5 out it worries me

I also think here the most deprived people think its ok for little ones to be out.I suppose its something they did when they were younger and dont see why its unacceptable in modern society.I know social services and the community support people tell them not to.

There are a few kids in this street all the same age but they don't play out at 6 or 7 they do at 10 or 11. The parents call over and the kids will play in the back garden. To be honest it used to bug me when my eldest was younger that this one family used to let their 5/6 year old play out. As my dd used to want to go out too. One day another child got knocked over by a car in the street and it still didn't stop the mother just letting her children run back and forth across the street. I used to worry for them. So glad they moved.

why is it any less acceptable in "modern society" than it was when the parents where young?

I live in a block of flats, about half council half ex-council, but quite a posh area in some ways. I am a sentimental sod, but I really like it when you can hear the children round here playing out. You can tell when it's half term as you can hear them playing hide-and-seek and so on. They are very occasionally on the street but it's tiny quiet one-way streets, and mostly they're on the pavements or on the concreted over bit of land. And there are always people nearby either watching from the balcony on the flats or sitting outside the local pub. I think it's a really nice bit of being in a community. When I've lived in areas with less of a sense of community it's much less pleasant.

I really don't think children playing hide and seek could possibly be counted as deprived, to me it sounds like something out of Enid Blyton!

Enthusiastictroll - It was more acceptable then but not ideal eg parents in pub whilst kids in car or playing out.Here parents get pissed in the pub and their kids are running over the road repeatedly.Its a lot busier as well than in the 70s.A 5 year old got ran over outside mine.There are 1 and 2 year olds out with their siblings running over the roads, and parents in their houses.I hate it and think its dangerous.

It depends on the ages of other children playing out.

When my eldest DC was 8/9 there weren't any others that age so she didn't really play out. DC2 had lots of others his age so played out when he was 7ish. Because there were then loads of kids playing out, their younger siblings played out at an even younger age.

We are in Cornwall in holiday staying with DPs parents and it is poring down but DS2 (age 11) is in the garden having a blast

Disclaimer, strange little boy

I would suggest what you describe BeeBee12 was not acceptable in the 70s eithe. I think the only difference is traffic like you say. however im not sure even then that it makes it significantly riskier for children today than when I was a child.

unfortunatly children can get run over and as they also did in the 70s.

It is not acceptable for toddlers to be out playing on the road whilst parents are in the pub. But children say 4+ out playing out side their own houses along the pavement with some level of monitoring and supervision is and should be acceptable. Im a social work student and I would not tell someone who is doing this that they should not, my own dd has played out since she was 4. What you describe then yes I would advice it is unwise.

Enthusiastic troll- Social services spoke to a couple of mums who stay inside and let their 4 and 5 years olds play out on the busy road.I think it all depends on the area but here people do completely ridiculous things in my eyes.

I used to play out on the street where my parents live, Im not sure if there is a lack of children on the street or not, but I never see kids out anymore. Our weather doesnt help, but I do think there is a change of culture, but I think its down to parents being to busy to go out and be able to supervise, my dad used to watch me outside for a while and then check on me regularly, but I know that I would be a bit dubious of leaving my children on the street, just in case. I prefer knowing they are in my back garden.