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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that, actually, kids DO play out?

118 replies

BrittaPerry · 15/08/2012 09:19

I'm sick and tired of Facebook posts, newspaper columns etc bemoaning that kids somehow never play out.

Every street I have ever lived in, and m job takes me walking and cycling round quite a few too, has had kids playing out. From about the age of 5 or 6, they are out on scooters, bikes, balls, or just doing kiddy things.

The parents just pop their heads out every now and again, and each child has a personal limit - it is quite funny to see them suddenly stop running at a certain bollard :-)

We are in a northern 'new town', but I used to live in amore traditional mill town till three years ago and it was the same. I grew up (I am only 27, we're not talking wartime) on a main road- we just went out via the back gate and ginnel.

Do I live in a different dimension to everyone else, or is it (as I suspect) all down to people just liking to moan?

(oh, and they play conkers etc too...)

OP posts:

Lancelottie · 15/08/2012 11:12

But it gets circular, Worra. With fewer children playing out, car drivers are, on the whole, less wary and don't expect a child to zip out in front of them. In our road, it took some months before our neighbours accepted that the kids WERE going to be playing out (mostly retired residents before we moved in) and took to arriving very, very circumspectly rather than roaring across the pavement and up their driveway.

cantspel · 15/08/2012 11:16

Mine never played in the street, they would go to the local park or each other houses. We are not middle class so i don't see it as a working/middle class thing.

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2012 11:18

True Lancelottie but yours won't have been the only road they've driven down...so they'll be used to entering other roads carefully (or should do anyway)

Again - even in the 70's there were some very inconsiderate drivers but kids learnt to mind the roads and watch out for cars reversing from driveways.

Silibilimili · 15/08/2012 11:22

I think u have to accept this loss. I know how it is. We have left car doors wide open in a busy car park and gone shopping as DCs were playing up (obviously without knowing), left things on top of car and driven away, etcetc. It happens.
You have to make a mental note to not get worked up and remain extra calm when DCs act up. So these things happen less frequently. It takes practice.

starmaker7 · 15/08/2012 11:23

Where I live (semi rural village)they play out from 7.30 am (not mine I must add) to 10.30pm(alos not mine) its not a cul de sac but theres only one way in and out of it so its pretty safe.
Where I used to live (quite rough area) it was the same although they didnt start as early as half 7.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 15/08/2012 11:23

My kids are playing out right now (E London). Not in the street, in an estate playground which is, I admit, a bit under-used.

There are lots of children round here. The school is very local.

In London - parks seem much busier than in other areas I've visited - people don't have gardens, or have small gardens, so there's less playing in each other's gardens like I used to do as a child

Silibilimili · 15/08/2012 11:23

Haha posted in wrong thread!!

QuenelleOJersey2012 · 15/08/2012 11:26

The children play out in our cul de sac and have done since they were about 4 or 5.

DS is only 3 so doesn't play out yet. I would have stay and keep an eye, which would mean by default being the adult responsible for the others as well. They don't need or want that.

marge2 · 15/08/2012 11:27

We live in 'The Country', but just 75m from an A road which is at the end of our dead end lane. My kids play out all the time. They were taught not to go beyond a certain point, and although they pretty much ignore everything else I ask them to do, they do obey this rule with no quibbles! They are safe on their bikes on the drive that goes in front of our and our neighbours houses. We only have 6 houses as neighbours, most of which have kids too, so all the adults know to drive slow when coming and going. Most delivery drivers come when they are at school, and we have a speed bump and a drive slow sign at the end of the lane, so it's not a problem. We have great climbing trees, beech woods to rampage in and large garden for footie and lots of kids to play with. Not quite 'Just william', but not far off. We are very lucky!

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2012 11:27

Silibilimili I thought you were saying you used to go shopping and let the kids play outside in the car

solidgoldbrass · 15/08/2012 11:29

In our case I let him out because there's not much traffic. If we lived on a busy road, then I wouldn't want to risk it for another year or two. I have already decided that come the next holidays (maybe Autumn half term, even) I will let him go as far as the park by himself, because he will be 8 by then and the park is at the end of the road, though he would have to cross the tram track, and that's the bit that worries me slightly. Oh, and that will be a daytime only thing because the skatepark gets full of teens with alcopops in the evening and DS is too gobby to be allowed near them unsupervised.

I mentioned it to my mum and she was saying how nice it was that he could play out...

QuenelleOJersey2012 · 15/08/2012 11:31

I have no idea what class my neighbours are, or consider themselves to be, and I don't subscribe to one myself.

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 15/08/2012 11:33

sgb - "too gobby to be allowed near then unsupervised". I love that

MrsRhettButler · 15/08/2012 11:38

Oh I'm vair classy. The epitome of class right here

Dd1 plays out. She's clearly 'rough' and the likes of beatrice wouldn't want her little darling getting corrupted. (Poor beatrice' dd )

zanywany · 15/08/2012 11:41

I live on a quiet road next to a park and my 2 DC's (11 and 9) have 'played out' for years. Its lovely as there are lots of other kids around too to play with as we live close to the school. I am lucky though in that traffic wise it is quiet around here. They know to stay close enough so that they can hear me when I shout them in for dinner etc

solidgoldbrass · 15/08/2012 11:45

Jamie: It's one of those things I do fret about a little now he's bigger. Because he's tall and articulate people sometimes think he's older than he is, and if he takes exception to something the teenagers are doing and ticks them off, they might decide he's big enough to fight...

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 15/08/2012 11:49

SGB - I know what you mean. DS1 has a strongly - developed sense of right and wrong, and has seen me intervene in things. I worry I am not setting a great example to him because I think women, especially small ones, can get away with saying things that boys and men can't. So I am always a bit relieved when he now (he's 11) says "leave it mum".

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 15/08/2012 11:49

... I mean, saying things to teenage boys

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 15/08/2012 11:51

... I would say, don't worry too much. He will develop a sense of self-preservation as he gets older. Especially in London. They are more street-wise than we think

Tanith · 15/08/2012 12:09

Yes, they do. I've had them continually knocking on my door every dry day for the last 2 weeks, asking if they can wash the car.

"Please let us. We'll do it for free! We're really bored!"

solidgoldbrass · 15/08/2012 12:17

Jamie: Mine's just like that! Last summer he actually tackled a violent, angry drunk, running up and shouting 'Stop that, it's naughty!'. Luckily I was able to yank him away quickly and the drunk was too busy yelling at someone else and hurling furniture to take any notice of him, but I grew several grey hairs on the spot...

oldraver · 15/08/2012 12:17

I think it depends where you live, some areas are more suitable than others

If you live in NA then its full of houses that were built with lots of greens infront of them which is much safer for kids to play out in

Crinkle77 · 15/08/2012 12:23

I agree. There are always tonnes of kids playing out where I live. I don't think it is true when the media says kids just want to sit in and play computer games all the time. The kids I know love being out and playing with all their mates on their bikes

nokidshere · 15/08/2012 12:24

Mine used to play out but we live on a new estate in a nice cul de sac. My 11 year old takes his phone and a bit of cash and goes off for the day with his friends who live elswhere on the estate. But mine are the youngest here now so unless mine are out there (and the children I childmind) there is never a soul around!

NCForNow · 15/08/2012 12:29

We live in a private cul de sac...hardly any traffic...open lawns in front of houses but nobody lets the DC out. Well the lady opposite has JUST begun letting her NINE year old DD out!

She has never been allowed before. She has been playing with my two a little bit which is a relief as mine get bored with only one another.

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