To spend my holiday money on holidays and not on speech therapy

[MrsBramStoker]

My DTwin boys just turned 2 and am very very concerned about their language. Or lack of it. It was really, really getting me down so sought out a private SL therapist who will charge 600 for both for an assessment. I was all set to pay it, but DH thinks we should wait til they're 2.5 to see if their language 'accelerates'.

They're on the public waiting list for SLT but this could take about 9 months.

I have a background in language development so was concerned about their delay. I've been very stressed lately too as DH was in hospital and also have DD age 4 so feel we really need this holiday as a family. In fact, was worried about my mental health. My mother and friends were too.

Should be able to afford it in a few months, should I wait til then?

Have frightened myself by googling and think they might have verbal dyspraxia - they have the same few coherent words (more, ball, there, ma ma and some animal sounds) for last 5 months and just babble in incoherent streams. They understand everything, point out what they want and nod and wave so have lots of gestured but everthing they say is 'ah ba'. However, they're smiley, communicative little guys so am hoping it's not ASD.

Feel guilty now about not referring them immediately and very worried. Anyone out there have 2 year old not talking much and turned out fine?

Thanks in advance of your answers

Lots of children have speech delays, twins in particular, and twin boys even more so. I'm a primary Head and work closely with SLT on a regular basis.
Have your holiday, enjoy your family time, enjoy your boys. Keep up the talking and the book sharing and try to manage one-to-one chat (with different adults) as much as you can. I'm sure you're doing all of that anyway with your background - I don't mean to be patronising.

I just read that through and am not sure if I was clear! Spend the money on a holiday. The boys have time.

Go on holiday. Even if it takes 9 months for the NHS SLT, they're only tiddly, and as Mushroom says, it's not uncommon

Thanks Mushroom and Edu!!

I'm also arranging a childminder/helper for 4 hours a week (all we can afford at the mo!) to have just that - one to one time! Old DD speaks for them, so at least childminder can play with one twin on own or I can bring one out to park, etc. Good for them to have to ask someone else for food/toys as I can understand the jibberish!

Am doing as much reading/chatting as I can. There's an element of them being lazy/quiet when together as they have they're own little unit and don't feel the need to chat to me.

Had 15 mins with one of the boys on my lap yesterday - felt we really connected. Hope the hols will be good for them as going to meet lots of family and friends too

YANBU, my dd started SALT very young (known neonatal cerebral issues and established diagnosis of cerebral palsy) but I didn't really think it was all that effective until she was closer to three anyhow. I would go fo far as to say that it mostly involved telling me what I ought to be doing, which I was already doing anyway, and which no doubt you will be too.

Have a lovely holiday.

I have actually found SLT and related assessments to be fantastic and done in good time (though of course that varies with area as with all NHS departments IME).

My DS is nearly 3 and I think he was about 2 when we got the ball rolling due to similar worries. There was a fair bit of 'wait and see' after each appointment and I think that was fair enough as developmental milestones do vary a lot.

He's now had a developmental assessment with a paediatrician who said his speech was delayed by 14 months but all other aspects of his development are excellent (like yours, he understands everything). They have ruled out any ASD as his social communication has really improved. I also vaguely suspect verbal or oral dyspraxia but I am waiting to see the SLT again to see what she says. In the meantime he is improving gradually (we still do baby signing for some things and watch Something Special) and he is now potty trained when I didn't think it would be possible!

Apologies if I'm preaching to the choir here but have you had their hearing checked by an audiologist? My DS turns out to have slight congestion (probably due to frequent colds) and while it's not enough to affect his speech it has warranted a possible referral to ENT.

Have the holiday and buy the book it takes two to talk as it's an easy read and follows many of the principles used by the therapists.
My ds is 2.3 and my dr here in Canada pushed us to get a speech assessment as ds has less than 200 words (he tries to say about 100 but they are mostly a combination of wah and gah sounds) personally I didn't want to be assessed as ds understands complex instructions, has excellent hearing and has developed his own sign language, I'm confident sometime soon he will be yammering his head off! Plus I was a late talker.

Anyway the assessment didn't tell me anything I didn't know already, his speech is a bit delayed but his comprehension is great. Many boys can be a bit slower to talk and there will probably be a huge development leap over the next few months.

So enjoy the holiday!

DS's best buddy made no comprehensible sounds until well past 2. I looked after him 1 day a week and people always used to comment as 1 chattered non stop & the other barely uttered a sound! Fast forward a year at just turned 3 he's very much in line with the average 3 year old talking pretty clearly in sentences.
Save your money and if you're still concerned on 6 mths then go see someone but don't waste your money at 2 especially not twin boys.

Am surprised Howcomes you were sent for assessment as DS had less then 200 words! My boys are lucky if they have 10 words!

My older DD was very fluent at 2 though, I know as I kept a word diary (geek that I am)

It's not the amount of words though but the acceleration - of lack of it.

They are very 'verbal' in that they try and communicate making lots of 'ah ba ah ba ah ba' sounds and shout and point like mad in an effort to be heard.

It's like a language I don't understand. Twin language??

As a true tale that might calm you a little :

My DS2 had NO words at 3yo. Wasn't even really babbling. He had been put on the waiting list for SALT at 18mo (through NHS, private not a financial option). He said his first word (Mum) at 3y5mo.

I had been through SALT with an older DC (partially deaf so speech delayed), and used all the techniques I had been shown with her for DS2.

By the time DS2's first SALT appointment came up, he was aged 4y5mo, and almost in Reception. By that point, he was speaking mostly understandably, with some mispronunciations, and very unusual syntax, but still, he could carry out a mostly understandable conversation with you.

Now at 8y9mo, he could talk the hind legs off a chuffing donkey, he never shuts up! I often say that he was a slow starter, but my goodness is he making up for lost time!

Occasionally when my ears have taken enough battering for one day, I tell him to 'Shush!'. And then feel incredibly guilty because once upon a time I feared he would never talk.

The extra 9 months wait for speech therapy will be less of a problem to your DC's than a stressed mum needing a holiday IMO. A more calm and rested mum will mean a mum that can put more time into developing their speech.

The majority of DC's with Speech Delays DO catch up eventually. If they understand what you are saying to THEM (following a simple instruction like pick your ball up), then that is GOOD.

You may also find that twins ARE slightly later talking, simply because they can communicate between themselves in other ways.

Also, has their physical development taken a massive jump over the 5 months that they don't seem to have acquired new words? If they have learnt how to jump, how to pedal a trike, how to climb stairs properly, how to do forward/backward rolls, how to feed themselves effectively with their cutlery, have been working on potty training, you might find that they take a massive leap with their speech in the very near future.

I have seen, quite often, in my own DC's and my friend's DC's, that speech will often take a back seat whilst a child is developing their physical abilities, and then it suddenly 'catches up' to where it should be.

My friend has ID twin girls. She is adamant that they barely had 6 words between them until they went to Nursery at 2y9mo.

They babbled to each other, and she is adamant that they understood each other!

On speaking to them about it (they are 14yo now), they say that they can STILL talk to each other using the 'words' they made up as toddlers, if they don't want other people mainly their mum or younger brother to understand what they are saying to each other, and they have very specific 'words' for particular things.

So it MAY also be a 'twin thing'.

Thank you couthymow for your story and kind words.

Am so with you about not being a stressed mum. Was really weighed down by the worry thinking I've to 'teach' them to speak. They're very social little guys and do follow instructions, such as 'give this cracker to your brother in the toy room' and 'dance to the music' or 'pick up the ball and give it to your sister', etc etc

your post made me feel a lot better so

True couthy, my boys have a non-verbal thing going on whereby they swap toys they're playing with. I have to rub my eyes as they literally go to other end of toy room and play with whatever each of them was playing with last and I think to myself 'was X not over there a minute ago?!'

also, they pass drinks to each other and babble and chat in their cots at bedtime. whatever it's about I'd love to know

I have to agree with everyone else. Yes, I would refer them to the NHS SaLT if they hadn't been already, but, factor in the fact they are twins, the fact they are boys, the fact they have an older sibling to talk for them, and the fact they are just 2, and I'd say continue all you are doing, and go on holiday with the money.

A friend of mine has twins who did not speak well but she is very laid back and insisted they would talk when they were ready. Unfortunately they didn't and were only diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia at 9ish and I wonder if this delay could have long-lasting implications for them.

Their speech is still not good and often not understood by those who don't know them. I would want any child of mine to be diagnosed and treated as soon as possible. It's a difficult question for anyone else to answer, you know your own children best and you must make that decision as to whether a holiday is worth it.

Enjoy your holiday, By the time DD1 got to see the SLT she was jabbering away and got instantly discharged.

She just didn't bother talking until she could do it. Before that she just pointed.

My daughter was a late talker- I also took her to speech therapy. I think two is a little young to really panic. My daughter is now 3.8 and a great talker. Don't panic!

My nearly 3 y o was assessed because of lack of speech and was immediately referred to special needs team for intensive speech therapy. They actually had to teach her makaton because she couldn't communicate her needs. I was worried sick.

She had an assessment aged 5 and her level of speech was of that of a 6 y o. Panic over.

None of mine were really speaking at 2, so I would really go on holiday, and leave the money grabber private SLT to get her cash elsewhere. Six hundred pounds for a flipping assessment!!!!

At his 2 year check, th paediatrician asked if he could say 10 words. Didn't have to be distinct, but had to be one word for one thing and for only that thing. He just qualified! Animals were known as moo, eek, baaa etc Then I was asked if he starts to put words together. He had once said "bye bye daddy" when DH left for work. I was told that his speech development was normal.

Nine months on, he has changed dramatically. A much, much larger vocab and starting to make small phrases.

Have your holiday and enjoy it. Then you'll have lots to talk about with them!

Isn't it normal for twins to be late talkers as they can communicate between themselves? It's also common as far as I know for subsequent children to talk later as older siblings often "talk for them" or understand what they want before they ask and get it for them.

DS2 was a very late developer in both walking and language. DH was worried so he saw a ST aged around 2.5 who said there were no problems at all. I would spend the money on the holiday personally.

I had cousins who were 13 months apart, neither of them spoke properly until the
Older one started school, then they just both switched to speaking fluently

My DD's friends have spent the last 7 years 'teaching' her their 'language'. I now know that 'oggy' means cat, 'oof' means dog, 'ahba' means sandwich, and plenty more!

They still slip into it sometimes when talking between themselves. Especially if they get cross with each other!

My 2.5 DS was at a similar stage to your twins at 2 years, I requested a referral when he was 22 months and as my DS has a hearing loss we were referred quickly. The SALT said he had mild speech delay. We just had a review and he's been signed off as he's caught up! His vocab has increased so much in the last few months - and he puts sentences of 4 or 5 words together, counts, knows shapes, colours etc. We had been given some exercises (ie offering choices such as juice or milk, modelling, turn taking), but I think it would have happened anyway. So go on your holiday and then if you need a referral in any event you're already on the waiting list. And try not to worry...

DS1 only had a few words by his second birthday. Within in a couple of months he was speaking in long complex grammatically correct sentences and has not shut up since. Thankfully as he was my first I didn't realise how very behind he had been so wasn't panicking my arse off.

My, in no way professional, view that they all do it differently and just to wait and see for a bit longer. I imagine twins with an older sibling to speak for them might be even slower starting.

Have a lovely holiday.

I have twin brothers. They had their own language and would babble away and then both get up and go and do the same thing and completely understand each other.

They didn't speak until they were 4. They are fine there were no long-term effects and this is very very common in twins!

As long as they're exposed to language and you talk to them and call things by their correct name, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Go on holiday!