to want my 11 year old daughter to be allowed to walk to school on her own, when DH doesn't

[dangirl]

This is going to cause a major incident in our house in the coming year.

My DD is now 10 and going in to year 6. She is highly sensible and very responsible. The last term of year 6 the children at her school are allowed (with parents permission) to walk to school on their own. We live an 8-10 mins walk away, crossing two roads, no real concerns re traffic. We live in West London.
She is desperate to get some freedom. Usually 100% of the children are permitted. I have no qualms permitting her to do this, in fact I think she should.
Now, DH on the other hand is point blank refusing to even discuss this! Major stranger danger!! "Do you know how many young girls disappear each year ?" etc... He will also not have her go to school on her own, when she starts secondary school the year after. He has no idea when the right age might be.
This is some way away, but it is already causing major discussions! Well no discussion really, as he just won't even discuss it.
I find it crucial to prepare our children for life and everything it brings. Of course we have to protect them, every way we can, but we also have to let them take some chances as well (within reason of course).

I guess I am asking for advise on how best to approach this? I want to respect his feelings, and it is of course his child too. But this is in my opinion out of proportion and I really feel she should be given this little bit of freedom!

Sorry, long story

I think you need to tell your DH this is something that needs to be discussed. Properly.

How can he say she is not ready yet and he doesn't have any idea when she will be and expect it to be left as that?

When will she stop being at risk of being abducted then?
What will have to change.

If it were me, I'd ask him to list all the reasons he is against this. And what he thinks needs to change before she is able to go alone and then discuss each one explain why is wrong

FWIW my DCs have been walking to school in north London since year 5.
They now have a 15 min walk to train station, a 10 minute train journey and a 5 minute walk at the other end and have been just fine.
They even pick up my 8 year old from ASC since they were in year 7

I think maybe you need to let him explain the worries he has and try and put his mind at rest because I can assure you she will not appreciate being walked to school and collected once she is in secondary and IMHO year 6 is the perfect time to get them used to independent journeys.

I too think it can be counter productive to be overprotective with children. The right balance has to be struck and that sometimes can be very difficult. Can she not walk with a friend who lives nearby or for the first few weeks just meet half way and that might make your husband see that she has to have a bit of independence eventually. And some sort of compromise will make him save face!

Same policy at our primary school - Yr 6 children can walk to and from school with parent's written permission. The school has list of those that walk independently and will phone if they are not in school for register first thing. They are VERY good at this, so parents are reassured that a missing child will be noticed straight away.

We tackled it thus:
First stage: Yr 6 child has mobile with phone numbers and set so that in case of emergency, all child has to do is press the call/redial button. Leaves first on own. I left about 2mins later with other child and walked behind at distance so could see Yr 6 child crossing main road. Home journey was similar as I still had to collect younger child.
Next stage: child started leaving earlier and crossing on own and would text/call to say arrived. But the novelty soon wore off and usually ended up walking together anyway!

In Yr 7, school journey longer but as meeting friends and walking together, no worries there. Would get a text to say arrived at school and one to say walking home or will be late. I only worry if haven't heard and are late now, in which case I phone them. Have said that if no call or text to say they are late and no answer on phone, I will go and look for them so to avoid the embarrassment, they make sure I know where they are!

Just take it in steps, if you are doing school run with younger children, then you won't be far away anyway. Your DD won't be on own, you will just be a bit behind and your DH shouldn't have a problem with that.
Hth