AIBU to think DH should have tidied up?

[StuntNun]

I have two children and I'm six months pregnant. I have been suffering from sciatica which has made housekeeping a bit of a problem lately BUT we haven't been doing too badly, just a bit more chaotic than usual, particularly since I can't bend down to pick things up from the floor. I took the kids to visit my parents on Wednesday and when I got back last night I cried because the house looks almost exactly the same as I left it - same clothes on the drying rack, the washing basket was empty but is now mysteriously full, the same rubbish (stickers, toys, coins) lying on the floors, things lying on the kitchen counters, same basket of ironing to be done.

Over the time I was away he did two things (apart from put all his clothes that were lying all over the bedroom into the clothes basket for me to wash): bath the dog and paint the kids' bedroom. Now I realise that painting the kids' bedroom was a necessary task but I just don't appreciate it when I'm still left with a ton of housework to do but not in the best health to do it. He's pissed off because I'm not delighted with his painting efforts. I had asked him to try and tidy up while I was away and there's no difference.

AIBU to think he could have made some effort in the rest of the house rather than just working in one room? Now I'm going to have to do the washing/ironing/tidying while the kids are in the house all day bored because it's raining and probably making more mess faster than I can tidy up. Sorry to be a moaner but I'm so depressed about all this with not being able to do much myself until the sciatica clears up.

YANBU he should have tidied up before he started the painting. However my dh is exactly the same. I come home from work to find the house in chaos, no thought about what we are to eat and he has started some DIY which involves the electricity/water/central heating (usually winter) being switched off.

I had sciatica when pregnant with ds2 so can really sympathise! Get the kids to pick up off the floor mine got quite good at that.

tbh he did 2 fairly things... think yabu a bi

He had 5 days and he did two jobs. Bathing the dog would take - what - half an hour? Painting might be an all day job but that still leaves 4 other days to do washing and tidying. So now the OP is left doing all those jobs in one day with two children, while 6 months pregnant and suffering with sciatica. And you're saying she's BU ll31? Seriously?

YANBU. DH also does non-essential jobs before the run of the mill ones. Drives me nuts.

I read the OP and started to think you were being a BU, then I read Cailin's post and realised you'd said 5 days! YANBU at all! What did he do, paint the bedroom with one of the children's paint brushes? TBH, I'd be leaving his laundry. If I was feeling charitable I would even warn him that I won't have time to get it done with all the other work still left over. Rope the children in to helping, I know DD(2) thinks it's a great game to help mummy tidy up. Alternatively you could get a big box, dump all the mess in there (get the DCs to pick up from the floor) then leave it out the way for DH to help with at the weekend. Also, forget the ironing!

If DH finished painting DD1s room that has been half done for 4+ years I'd be delighted. He's no idea where washing goes.

Not picking things up would make my snarl very slightly.

Hugs to the OP though sciatica is the pits.

Painting a room is quite a big job so I can see how he probably thinks (wrongly) he has done his share of chores.
Did you leave a list of tidying chores that needed doing? I know you shouldn't have to but I find that my DH genuinely can't see all the jobs that need doing unless I tell him.
Can you rope the kids in to helping by picking up stuff from the floor, loading and unloading the washer etc?

Was he at work at all during this time?

He should have tidied up and done some washing. But, did painting the bedroom require slapping some paint on the walls or filling walls/stripping paper and ceiling and woodwork too?

He sounds a bit inept really - or maybe just lazy.

5 days by himself and all he has managed to achieve is a clean dog and a painted room? Could the dog at least model for Pantene and does the kids room have some kind of fabulous arty farty mural? Because that is what I would be expecting if they were the only jobs my DH had managed to complete while I was gone for that length of time.

Painting a room is not that hard and does not take a long time if you actually just take a day and crack on with it rather than dithering about and doing a daub here and a dash there. I repainted both our guest bedrooms last year and it took me less than a day. So either I should be hiring myself out as a painter and decorator, or he is a slow poke

I think YABU, it takes us at least 3 days to paint a room, by the time you've sanded, washed and painted the woodwork, washed then painted the walls with maybe 2 sometimes 3 coats, and done the ceiling and radiator I would have taken him at least that on his own (presuming he did the ceiling and woodwork). To wash the dog as well seems like pretty good going!

YANBU.
Yes he should have tidied up. Especially because you are ill, you asked him to, and he didn't have any children to look after at the same time.

Oh for god's sake, how long does it take to wash a dog? He's had five days!

I think he is a lazy fucker.

DH did the same recently, and yes I did yell.

However, on the other hand, as you are 6 months pregnant it is absolutely your prerogative to be U and I am probably the one being unfair in suggesting otherwise!

Me and DH are probably either very slow or lazy!

Christ, in two days I managed to pull up a carpet, sand woodwork, paint woodwork, paint walls, paint spots on the walls, put up a blind and a curtain pole, build 3 bookshelves and a wardrobe, put together a bunk bed and get the carpet fitter to fit new carpet and underlay in my older two DS's bedroom.

On my own.

And I have epilepsy and fibromyalgia, so am not the healthiest person on the planet.

Your DH is BvU. And a lazy git to boot.

YANBU. He could easily have done HIS OWN washing FFS, and picked up the bits on the floor.

O DH is a great one for fiddling whilst Rome burns. I was in hospital for tests one day,so was gone from early morning until the evening. I came home to find every toy strewn from one end of the house to the other,the two toddlers in various states of undress,the older kids tattooing themselves with eyeliner and DH in the kitchen oblivious as he was cooking a big roast dinner.

It was very hard to appreciate it because I had a whole days cleaning ahead of me (DH back to work the next day). So OP YASooooooooooNBU. 5 days and he couldn't take a few clothes off a drying rack,or put on a wash

YANBU.

OP was he also at work whilst you were away?

I would have left a list and let it be known exactly what I was expecting

Painting the room is a big job! He could have taken the dry clothes to the wardrobe, but with the info from the OP, YABU.

Well I was just going to come on and say painting a room is a massive job blah blah blah then I thought yes but would I still manage to get the other tidying up done if it was me painting and there was other stuff to do? and the answer to that is yes. So why wouldn't you expect a man to do the same? So on that basis YANBU.

Why would you leave a list? He's a man, not blind. I bet he walked past the washing a mhundred times and ignored it. It's not good enough.