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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uneasy about my gardener (teenage daughter of a friend) peeing in the garden rather than in the house?

41 replies

victorialand · 12/08/2012 12:40

My friend's teenage daughter, who is very green-fingered, has recently started to do some gardening work for me at weekends. Yesterday she was clearing a patch of ground at the bottom of the garden, which was a large job and meant that she was outside for most of the day. Because it was so hot out, even in the shade, I took out drinks to her at regular intervals throughout the day.

On one occasion, I couldn?t see where she was so I called her name and when she didn?t answer I went to look for her thinking that she must have gone to the shed to get some more tools. When I was making my way towards the area where the shed is I spotted her squatting down by some bushes and having a wee.

She wasn?t looking in my direction, so I backed away before she noticed me and returned to the area where she had been working and just left her drink there. When I went out to her again later I didn?t mention anything about what I?d seen because I didn?t know how to broach the subject without embarrassing her.

The part of the garden that she was peeing in is quite self-contained and not overlooked by neighbours but I?m not sure how I feel about her going outside, as my little ones also play in the garden, albeit quite a distance from where she was working. I told her when I took her on that she could use the bathrooms in the house if she needed to so she is aware of this.

Should I mention anything to her about this incident or just turn a blind eye to it?

If she is going to pee outside I much would rather that she did it by the compost heap behind the shed. Would it be indelicate to mention this to her?

OP posts:
wetotter · 12/08/2012 12:50

Probably, but I'd do it anyhow. Urine is a great compost accelerator and it's a shame to waste it.

AtLeastThatsWhatYouSaid · 12/08/2012 12:50

YANBU

I wouldn't feel uneasy, I would be fuming!

Disgusting to Piss in someone's garden when she could use the toilet. Lazy and dirty.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2012 12:51

What an interesting problem ...

NCForNow · 12/08/2012 12:51

First post OP?

QuacksForDoughnuts · 12/08/2012 12:51

Be happy she isn't treading mud through the house! I'd say that if she's able to pee outside she could probably survive a quick talk about the best place to do it. Is your worry that your kids might touch the wee (in which case dumping a bucket of clean water over that area would probably wash it away) or that they might copy her?

alphabite · 12/08/2012 12:53

Have you shown her where the loo is in the house? She's young and might feel awkward asking?

NCForNow · 12/08/2012 12:53

were you hoping for people to share similar stories?

Musomathsci · 12/08/2012 12:54

That's horrid! If she's blasé enough to do this, I think she can probably handle a request from you not to do it again. What she does in her own garden is her own affair, but in someone else's, without permission, when the facilities have been offered, no way!

Iheartpasties · 12/08/2012 12:55

surely wee in the garden isn't going to harm anyone, i thought wee was neutral or whatever.

GetOrfMoiRing · 12/08/2012 12:55

lolol at 'what an interesting problem'

Golden showers on golden marigolds.

NameChangeGalore · 12/08/2012 12:56

Do you by any chance have a barrel of poo at the end of your garden too?

GingerWrath · 12/08/2012 12:56

Urine is sterile.

AKissIsNotAContract · 12/08/2012 12:58

Namechangegalore: I was thinking of that thread too

Iheartpasties · 12/08/2012 13:00

sterile. that was the word i was searching for.

RuleBritannia · 12/08/2012 13:04

I went to mow the lawn this morning and found a small pile of poo in the middle. I didn't know what animal it could because, if it had been a cat, it would have dug a hole and covered the poo, wouldn't it? It was little white balls about the size of marbles. Any idea?

Anyway, the girl probably peed in the garden to save time walking to the door, undoing the laces, taking off the boots, finding the toilet, going back to the door, putting on her boots, lacing them up and walking back to where she was working. A quick pee behind a shed saved time.

lovebunny · 12/08/2012 13:04

i don't want teenage girls peeing in my garden! though, tbh, the grass is so long i probably wouldn't see them...

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2012 13:04

When faced with a dilemma of such a delicate nature you could do a couple of things:

a) Consult Debrett's Etiquette Guide
b) Ask yourself what Jesus would do

RuleBritannia · 12/08/2012 13:04

And meant 5 minutes more time working.

lovebunny · 12/08/2012 13:05

poo mystery... fox? a series of balls linked together and a little point at the end? fox.

flow4 · 12/08/2012 13:05

Peeing in the garden is standard gardeners' practice. I think it's even part of the level 1 NVQ in Horticulture Wink. BBC article
If you'd sooner she didn't, just ask her not to. Simples. :)

Original poster
victorialand · 12/08/2012 13:38

Thanks for the few serious replies so far?

To address some of the comments above, yes this is my first post (long time lurker) but I'm not interested in people sharing similar stories??? I''d be amazed if this was a common enough occurrence for anyone to have any!

I've only posted here because I can't talk to my immediate friends about this as the girl's mum is a mutual friend and they are aware that her daughter is working for me so it would be very obvious who I was referring to?

As I stated in my post, I just want people's opinions on whether I should mention anything to the girl about this incident or just turn a blind eye, as I have no idea whether this sort of thing is 'standard gardener's practice' or not.

I was actually more shocked than angry when I saw what she was doing. I wouldn't dream of doing it myself but I can appreciate that she may have been trying to save the time and hassle of traipsing back to the house and she obviously thought that she was alone and out of sight. Even so, I obviously don't want my kids, or myself, inadvertently walking or sitting somewhere where she's peed, which is why I'd rather she go by the compost heap if she absolutely has to.

I still don't know how to bring this up without embarrassing her though, as it could make things awkward with the mother if she reacts badly because she's embarrassed and denies having peed outside etc.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 12/08/2012 13:41

Next time she comes, just say "I'll be out with a drink in half an hour, but if you need the loo in the meantime, just use the bathroom/downstairs loo. Don't worry about asking, I'll be upstairs." Or summat.

SoleSource · 12/08/2012 14:05

She might be afraid of mud being trod through your house. She might be doing it for fetish reasons. I du.no. It is unsettling and she might be afraid of you.

RubyFakeNails · 12/08/2012 14:15

I wouldnt worry at all but simple way of discussin it is

"as I said toilet is just through the back door on the left (or wherever) if you need it, dont feel you need to ask, and if your really desperate or don't want to traipse back in you could always go by the compost heap round te back of the shed (or wherever you want her to)"

She obviously sees it as normal. I would do this if my garden wasn't so overlooked. So just talk as if it's normal, and mention where you want her to go.

pigletmania · 12/08/2012 14:22

As Imperial has said