Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am sure I am not, but I want to vent.

51 replies

Vagaceratops · 11/08/2012 18:03

DH goes to the gym three times a week after work. He also goes early on a Saturday morning (7am).

This afternoon he announced that he has decided that he also wants to start going on Sunday mornings, again at 7am.

Now we have worked a 1 lie-in each system at the weekends for as long as we have had DS1 (so 11 years). He decided that he wanted to forfeit his lie-in when he started going to the gym just over a year ago.

I am a bit pissed off that he is now trying to get me to give up my lie-in, the 1 lie in I get all week because DS2 is up every morning between 4 and 5am, so Sunday is my only chance - I dont lie in all morning, but if I can get to 8am I feel happy with my lot. DH couldnt go to the Gym later as DS2 has swimming lessons at 9.30am on Sundays.

When I tried to explain that I was pissed off because I would no longer be getting a lie-in he replied 'well neither will I' Hmm

OP posts:
FutTheShuckUp · 11/08/2012 18:05

YANBU.
Tell him no. He will have to go later in the day or not at all.

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/08/2012 18:06

Could he deal with both the 4/5am waking on the weekends himself and you OK him going to the gym both days and check his phone in case it is OW ?

Olympia2012 · 11/08/2012 18:06

Yabu! You forego these things once you become a parent!

Us lone parents don't have an option so just get on with it. He's working on his fitness so will benefit you all one way or another

Why is your ds getting up so early?

HecateHarshPants · 11/08/2012 18:07

That's his choice though, to give up his lie in. He's being unreasonable to try to take yours away from you!

Do you have a choice in this or has he just said he IS doing it so fuck you

Is he addicted to the gym?

LadySybildeChocolate · 11/08/2012 18:07

How old are your children? I wouldn't get up with them until 9am unless they were small, so you still get a lie in.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/08/2012 18:09

Why does he go so early? Confused

He is BU, but I don't understand his logic.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/08/2012 18:09

YANBU. It's time for yourself, it's one morning a week, and he can go later.

Or he could take ds with him?

squeakytoy · 11/08/2012 18:10

How old is your youngest child?

FutTheShuckUp · 11/08/2012 18:11

You forgo what things Olimpia? Mutual respect and consideration regarding agreements you came to some time back? And I dont see why the OP should be made to feel guilty about not being a single parent..

MrsMangoBiscuit · 11/08/2012 18:12

Olympia2012, if the OP were a lone parent then this thread wouldn't exist. As it is, she isn't a lone parent, and her DH has an equal share of responsibilty. Why the hell is it fair that the OP gives up her lie in just so her DH can have more time for himself? Why does it have to be at 7am? Surely he could just go later on.

OP YANBU at all. Ask him what he plans to do with the children on a Sunday morning. :)

TrinityIsAFuckingRhino · 11/08/2012 18:12

how old is your youngest? why is he getting up that early?

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 11/08/2012 18:13

YANBU

Why do you have to be the default parent because he decides he wants to do something? Why is he assuming you're happy to take care of them while he does this? I bet he wouldn't be quite so happy if you did the same would he?!

Olympia- just because lone parents don't have a choice doesn't mean those with partners shouldn't expect things to be equal between them

LRDtheFeministDragon · 11/08/2012 18:13

You could also look at it that if her DH were a lone parent, he wouldn't be able to go to the gym either day. So he's lucky he gets one day, in that respect, let alone two.

Original poster
Vagaceratops · 11/08/2012 18:13

DS has SN and is up ridiculously early every day. Its better than it was as he now sleeps for a long stretch rather than sleeping for an hour, being up for an hour which was horrendous.

The DC's are 11, 5 and 3.

He has to go early at the weekends because on Saturday mornings DD has ballet and then most weeks he goes to football (season ticket holder). There isnt football on at the moment but he has his routine.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/08/2012 18:14

Then his routine must change if he wants more gym time. When do you get the equivqlent of his footie time? Does he take the dc with him?

Original poster
Vagaceratops · 11/08/2012 18:14

DS2 is 5 - DD is the youngest.

OP posts:
MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson · 11/08/2012 18:15

YANBU at all.

I have just laughed loudly at Olympia's post. Ridiculous.

Original poster
Vagaceratops · 11/08/2012 18:15

No, the children are with me when he goes to football. He has taken DS1 a few times but he isnt interested. I normally take them to the park up the road from the football ground.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/08/2012 18:16

What utter nonsense, Olympia.

OP, YANBU. Y had an arrangement... What he does on "his" morning is is choice. He doesn't get to choose for you as well.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 11/08/2012 18:17

He wants to steal your lie-in so he can get to the gym early so he doesn't interupt his football schedule?!? Tell him to jog on! Angry

ChitchatAtHome · 11/08/2012 18:17

Oh, it gets better.... he ALSO goes to the football. How nice for him. Tell him to sod off.

GhostShip · 11/08/2012 18:17

Why can't the kids stay in bed for a little bit longer?

You're not unreasonable, he's being selfish.

waterlego6064 · 11/08/2012 18:18

I don't think YABU, I'd be annoyed too.

Can you take your DS2 to his swimming lesson on your own so that you can have your lie-in AND DH can go to the gym? Or could he go on a Sun evening?

GhostShip · 11/08/2012 18:18

Oh he sounds a right treat Hmm

tanfastic · 11/08/2012 18:20

So when do you get time to do something you enjoy on your own ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread