AIBU to bring 'trouble' his way?

[youngmummy17]

I've ranted a few times on here about ds dad, he recently told me he is not interested in being a dad as he is now shacked up with a 38 year old women and his kids, FYI ds dad is 18! she has him under the thumb won't let him out her sight but his happy with that, helps her with her younger kids, decorates for them both etc so his said his just to busy to be is ds life, this is just the most recently of problems this arsehole has caused, i am not in contact with him at all, but i'm so raged and upset his done this to me and ds, he plays football it's his job i know where he plays and pretty sure can find out when so i am so tempted to go there and just express to him how angry i am and just show all his team mates and friends who go there what he is really like, ( they think the sun shines out his arse) only problem with this is his 'girlfriend' will be there to fight his corner and i don't want to fight i just want to tell him face to face as he hides behind text just want him to feel small for once and try let this anger go, but i think i am just being immature and should let it go? AIBU to want to do this to him?

SORRY Sparks! Did not have my thinking cap on! I was brought up by a Lone Parent Father, I ought to know better!!

Sparks - If you have a nil assessment in place, it becomes the absent Parent's responsibility to report any changes in circumstances, as they are liable for maintenance as soon as their financial situation changes. I should know, been there, done that, got 7 months backdated because he didn't tell the CSA and it took me 6.5 months to find out. I got every bloody penny of it too.

It's only under the old CS1 system, which is NOT going to be applicable for a 19mo with an 18yo Father, where the back pay is only due from when the CSA are informed irrespective of a current assessment being in place. Under CS2, which this case would be under, the nil assessment is the protection against that happening.

Couthy

You're right i apologise. In Nil assessments that is the case.

My comments related to cases where there is a payment due in the original assessment. In those cases the NRP is not obliged to notify of a change of circumstance ( apart from change of address).

The onus is on the PWC to apply for a reassessment.

I expect deep down they all know. YANBU for being frustrated and angry and wanting him to pay attention but it sounds like he just doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Sad as it is for your son, you cannot make someone be a parent and if they don't want to then a) they won't put in the effort the child needs/deserves and b) will cause you and your son anguish and pain more as you push and try c) you are better off without-both of you.

Get what you can CSA wise OP, but don't go and do what you want to. It may give you a rush at first but you'll end up arguing and he'll likely talk all his friends (since they are his friends they believe him) into thinking you are to blame anyway so you'll not even have acheived your objectives and just upset yourself.

My friend wanted to do the same thing to her ex when he did the same to his kids but if she had it would have backfired on her-big time.