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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think when your own child has been in prison you do not get.....

55 replies

Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:35

Aibu to think when your own child has been in prison, dosent pay child support and hasnt seen his own child in nearly 11 years you dont get to call other peoples parenting choices crazy....

I really pissed to be honest

In the words of kathrine tate

Who very dare youAngry

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:35

How very dare you Blush

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 20:36

Completely lost.

But of course some children go off the rails and it has nothing to do with parental influences.

SirBoobAlot · 10/08/2012 20:38

I'm utterly bemused.

And now expecting a drip feed thread...

MadgeHarvey · 10/08/2012 20:38

What are you actually talking about here? I'm not a mind reader - and I'm fairly sure nobody else is either!

Mintyy · 10/08/2012 20:39

What were the "parenting choices"?

BabyDubsEverywhere · 10/08/2012 20:41

Well.... my brother could be described with simelar terms, but my mother also has another three children who couldnt be more different. But then my brother also had serious MH issues so that complicates matters... then again two of her others have the same issues...

In simple terms, you're talking crap generalisations that hold no water or worth.

Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:42

Right rang my exs father ds granpa and said yes oh is home so he will drop ds round now this was at 8 he said oh i am down the road i said well ds in his his pjs so we need to drop him at your house

He said why is he in his pjs well i said if oh hadnt come home at 8 he would be going to bed he told me i was crazy and didnt have a clue

OP posts:
Mintyy · 10/08/2012 20:44

OP, are you ok?

travellingwilbury · 10/08/2012 20:44

Erm ok , I don't understand !

Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:44

Um often when ds comes back from grandadshe grumpy and often very tearful hes just one of those children who needs sleep i have no issues with getting ds to bed he gose willingly

And i think he needs to booldy worry about the direction his son has took in life before he tells me i dont have a clue

OP posts:
MadgeHarvey · 10/08/2012 20:45

Nope - still not getting it.

Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:48

Basically i was told i was crazy and didnt have a clue because ds gose to bed at 8 here were he favours the fall alseep when your tired methoed

I dont think it needed to be said i dont see the issue with a 8pm bed time

When ds usually comes back from his grandpas he is tearful and grumpy

He just needs a lot of sleep

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 20:48

totally nonplussed.

But I gather the OP had a baby to a jail bird, who doesnt pay any form of maint, the grand parents got the child changed ready for bed and the Op isn't liking it? Or not.

shrug

HellonHeels · 10/08/2012 20:48

So, your ex's DF thinks it odd that your DS is in his pjs ready for bed at 8pm?

And you think he has no right to comment as his own children have gone off the rails?

LoveBox · 10/08/2012 20:49

Translation:

Grandads own son has been in prison,
Doesn't pay child support and his son (OPs
Ex) hasn't seen the DS in years.

Grandad then calls OPs parenting crazy. OP think this is pot kettle black since grandad did a poor job of rasing his own child.

Capiche?!

Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:50

It was the way he said it and i think he do well to worry more about his own children

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 20:50

What about the goose?

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 10/08/2012 20:50

He thinks your crazy for putting him to bed at 8?

Confused
Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:51

Love box well done Thanks

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 10/08/2012 20:52

Why are you taking any notice of what he has to say?

Sort out the arrangement for the future and whether they are possibly going to be subject to change and if they are what your respose will be.

TheSurgeonsMate · 10/08/2012 20:53

YANBU. Kind of. It is not on to say that someone who puts their child to bed at eight is crazy and hasn't a clue. That's sheer badness. I think other people are uncertain because they aren't sure if late bedtimes are the reason for the wrong turn in xs life. That doesn't matter, really. It's badness from gramps anyway.

Original poster
Mrbojangles1 · 10/08/2012 20:53

Birds we had a few arguments of late and its just really grinding me down chipping away at my parenting chip chip chip

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 10/08/2012 20:54

I get you.

You believe that he was a crap father and it is due to his poor parenting that his son is a feckless father and a criminal to boot and you feel that because of that total failure to raise a decent human being himself, he has no right to voice an opinion on any aspect of your parenting?

Basically Grin

Well, that may be true. But equally, he may have been a perfectly fine parent and his son turned out like this for a million and one other reasons. It does happen. Children with really lovely, supportive, caring parents who have always done their very best can grow up and be dreadful.

Also, people with shit parents and who had terrible childhoods can grow up to be amazing people.

If you have a problem with his father - then tell him. When he starts, just tell him that you aren't interested in his opinion. Or just nod and let it go in one ear and out the other.

JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 20:54

Well, if the Ops Ex hasnt seen the child in 11 years, that implies he is 11+ so 8pm in bed is a tad, well, early for a child that age?

Lucyellensmum99 · 10/08/2012 20:55

What does Sharron think??