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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send 5y old dc to the corner shop for some ice cream?

67 replies

MousyMouse · 10/08/2012 15:10

we just went. dc dropped their ice lolly and of course wants another one.
told dc to go on his own (no street to cross, maybe quarter of a mile) but he refuses. though. no ice lolly then.

OP posts:

FerrisBueller1972 · 10/08/2012 15:33

I'm with doing, I have gradually allowed my ds to pay for things on his own, but the very thought of him being sent with money to the local chippy or whatever just makes me despair if I am honest.

chocolategateaudeluxe · 10/08/2012 15:33

Yes, they love chatting to the grownups and get a real sense of achievement from doing little jobs (plus they sometims get 10, 20 pence!). Have to expand boundaries gradually though from 4, 3 years. They know their rules and boundaries and are really sensible.

NoComet · 10/08/2012 15:33

If its your usual shop and the staff know him then yes, watching from the corner.

DD2 would have been a bit shy, but DD1 would have asked for another ice cream.

valiumredhead · 10/08/2012 15:36

Depends if he is just five or nearly 6.

Ds was desperate to go to the shop and I'm sure we started at about 6-7.

I wouldn't make a child go especially if he wasn't keen, that would indicate he wasn't ready imo.

OwlLady · 10/08/2012 15:37

I think it's too young as well and I have let one of mine catch a bus on his own since the age of almost ten

they just don't have enough comprehension at that age to know right from wrong. They also can't judge the speed of traffic until they are about 8. I know you said no crossing roads but he's 5, he doesn't know he can't mess about

5madthings · 10/08/2012 15:38

what vailum said is he just 5 or nearly 6? and as he doesnt want to go its a moot point, but if the shop is just along the road, no crossing roads required and its a local shop and you know the staff and so does the child then it would be a maybe from depending on the child :)

OwlLady · 10/08/2012 15:39

oh you can see it from your house? are you sure it's 1/4 of a mile away?

5madthings · 10/08/2012 15:39

a maybe from ME depending on the child :)

Dropdeadfred · 10/08/2012 15:41

Why couldn't you just go back with him?

WorraLiberty · 10/08/2012 15:44

Poor thing

You've told a 5yr old who's too scared to go out alone, 'no ice lolly then'.

Really?

Glad you're taking him after dinner.

yousankmybattleship · 10/08/2012 15:44

At five? No way! Don't understand why you can't go with him. Poor little thing!

manicinsomniac · 10/08/2012 15:48

I'm not very good with distance but 1/4 of a mile is about a 5-7 minute walk right? Hmmm, I don't think I would at 5.

Out village shop is a 3 minute walk and across one quiet road. My 5 year old can go but only with her 9 year old sister.

Enfyshedd · 10/08/2012 15:49

I started going to the local shops on my own when I was about 6 or 7 - the corner shop 3 doors up and the Spar across the (busy, main) road, but my DM had an agreement with the staff in both shops that someone would watch me cross the road (if necessary) and to the front door. Living on my street meant that you learned the the green cross code very quickly or you'd be bouncing off a bonnet in trouble very quickly.

bisjolympics · 10/08/2012 15:52

I wouldn't even if I could see him all the way. 5 yr olds have no road sense. What would he do if he saw something of interest the other side of the road? Would he run across without thinking or would he always wait and check for traffic no matter how excited he was? If the latter then he is unique amongst all the 5 yr olds I have ever met.

FelicitywasSarca · 10/08/2012 15:53

No, nothing to do with peodophiles or kidnapping.

More these things. - a, how good is his grasp of money? Does he know how to organise his coins into the right amount for an ice cream and check his change? B, do you know for certain he won't decide to try a 'different route' and cross roads, C, can he reach into the ice cream freezer to chose what he wants, D, I would be worried about how anxious he would feel away from home on his own, E, could he be persuaded by older to kids to 'just come over to the park for 5 mins' etc...

Oh and about a billion other things.

NovackNGood · 10/08/2012 15:54

Yo know him best so if you think he can manage the short distance to a corner shop and back and as you say no roads, then send him. As for beig roads to cross, big deal.

What is it with parents today that they think kids can't cross roads. The Tufty Club was aimed at the under fives so they could walk to school etc safely on their own.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 10/08/2012 16:02

No way.

There may be no roads to cross, but that is not the only risk.

There was a case near me a couple of years ago where where social services tried to prosecute parents of a slightly older child (think they were 7 or 8) who allowed their child to walk to school alone.

I think it comes under the bracket of "irresponsible parenting" which is the same descriptor which is used for parents that leave young children home alone.

So whilst this is not illegal, it is arguably putting you in a position where you could be prosecuted.

MadameCupcake · 10/08/2012 16:41

I actually thought you were joking - at 5 on his own - absolutely not a chance of me letting mine at 5 do that!

yousankmybattleship · 10/08/2012 17:45

The Tufty Club was aimed at the under fives so they could walk to school etc safely on their own.

It quite possibly was, but I don't think the intention was that five year olds should be roaming the streets by themselves. I have taught my children road sense since they were toddlers but my seven year old still needs me there to keep an eye out and prompt her when necessary.

There is no way a five year old could judge the speed of a car, anticipate what it was going to do, judge what to do if a bike came down the pavement at them etc etc. I think most five year olds would also feel very vulnerable in a shop all by themselves. Mine love to "do shopping" by themselves but only safe in the knowledge that I'm close by if they get asked a question they don't understand or are worried by anything.

Latara · 10/08/2012 17:48

Age 5 - far too young to cross roads alone.

Don't be a lazy mare, go with him!!

AnonymousBird · 10/08/2012 17:53

COME ON POSTERS!!!!!! It's a wind up!!!!!!

NarkedRaspberry · 10/08/2012 17:55

But if he goes to the shops how will the chimney get cleaned?

Virgil · 10/08/2012 17:58

I assume this is a joke? Surely you wouldn't really let a five year old do this.

Virgil · 10/08/2012 18:01

Novak surely you don't agree with the OP. ignoring the obvious safety issue with sending a five year old to a shop that is out of your sight, he was going for ICE CREAM

Latara · 10/08/2012 18:02

Anonymous - some parents really are that irresponsible!!

.... a few days ago i saw a small boy aged approx 4 ringing a neighbour's doorbell. No-one answered.

Small boy wandered off, as i got into a taxi. He was STILL walking home when we drove past... he stopped when he saw the taxi & walked into the road - taxi driver had to put brakes on fast.

If i find out who his parent(s) are then i am having words.

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