To be pissed off at the woman in the cinema?

[Bingdweller]

I took my DC (5 & 2.5) to a Kids am film this morning. DS sat beautifully and was really enjoying the film, DD (the youngest) did so well for the first 45 minutes before running out of food getting a bit bored.

The cinema was about 1/3 full so plenty of empty seats. A woman with her 2 DC - I'm guessing about 8 & 10 years old sat behind us then loudly commented to her kids about having chosen "the wrong seats". This was before the film had even started.

Anyhow, 45 minutes in, my LO decided to sit on the step. She just didn't want to be in her seat but was at my feet. She then sat on my knee for a bit, then back on the step after about 20 mins. There was no shouting or loud talking at all from my two.

The woman tapped my shoulder and asked me to take her out as she was ruining her DC enjoyment of the film (one which has been out on DVD for several months). I stayed in my seat with LO on my knee for the remainder of the film.

I totally get that taking a 2.5 year old to the cinema might not end well, had she been shouting etc. I would have taken her out. AIBU to suggest that taking older children to a Kids am viewing then expecting perfect silence/no moving from younger children for the whole 90mins isn't realistic? I wouldnt dream of taking DD to a full price showing waste of money for a start. Is this not the point of Kids am, to expect some disruption hence the low ticket price?

thank goodness horrible woman wasn't sitting at the other side of the cinema next to the unaccompanied popcorn throwing kids!

I glared at the cow on the way out as I think she ruined our enjoyment of the film more than her viewing was disrupted by us......

That's what I mean - it's subjective.

You think you are well aware of when your DC are behaving badly, but behaviour that you think is acceptable may not be to others.

For example, you may not think that your DC were being naughty if they were talking, fidgetting etc at a kids showing of a movie, but I would.

Adeucalione Errrrrmmm, no I wasn't lying/distorting truth or any other variable of fibbing! Were you the lady sitting behind me?
I am quite intolerant of bad behaviour and I can assure you my LO was merely on and off her seat 2-3 times. She was fairly engrossed in the film for the main part but chatted once or twice for a few sentences about the film.
I'm hope you don't frequent my local cinema!

No I wasn't the lady sitting behind you - I've never been brave enough to ask someone to shut up, I just seethe quietly.

Your LO sounds like a perfect angel, but then you would say that wouldn't you.

You should have thrown £1 at her at the end of the film and said:

"here you go bitch, next time buy a film from the pound shop and stay at home to watch it in peace".

Bring back Saturday Morning Pictures!

adeucalione You're right it is subjective. What I find though is that being a reasonable and considerate person I am very aware of how my children are affecting others.

I am suspecting that you are the sort who thinks anything other then sitting completely still and silent is horrendous behaviour in a child! Whereas I am aware that you can't expect the same behaviour from a child as you would an adult, so a little bit of fidgeting from a child would be normal.

I'm not particularly concerned about the expectations placed on children by someone from the "seen and not heard brigade". (obviously whilst in the cinema not heard too much is preferable)

No kids?

Well then you suspect wrong.

Are you over investing here?

adeucalione, I wonder whether other people would of agreed with you when you took your children to the cinemas, given how you say the OP is bound to say what she is. Well, so are you.

You're right of course, Shullbit

i have been to Odeon kids club several times and not seen toddlers there or children behaving badly.In fact just the same as a normal showing except that it's an old film.

Well then you suspect wrong.

Wow! How lucky your kids are

Are you over investing here?

No idea what you're going on about.

And actually I've just remembered that I was once given a dressing down by an elderly lady who said that DD was rustling her sweet packet too loudly.

I asked DD to rustle less (we ripped the bag so she didn't have to put her hand all the way in iyswim), but the lady said it was still too loud so we put them away and ate them on the way home.

Actually, Adeucalione my LO is most definitely not a perfect angel and nor do I claim either of my kids to be.

Like any other small child she can (on occasion) be cheeky, exasperating, stubborn, loud, tantrummy and a downright PITA. There is no such thing as either a perfect child or indeed perfect parent. Thankfully on the whole she is wonderfully funny, gorgeous, very cute and a joy to be with.

I don't expect anyone to love or even like her the way I do, just as I cant be bothered with a lot of other peoples children.

Tolerence, understanding, patience and thought are good qualities to have, I suggest you employ a few more of these.

I dont expect everybody to agree with me at all, it's interesting to hear different peoples expectations and viewpoints - even if I find them a bit extreme!

Yes, you are definitely over investing when you start telling someone that their kids are unlucky to be parented by them.

Erm no you said I was over investing before I mentioned how lucky your kids are, so what did you mean?

The fact that I don't agree with you? The fact that I think you must be a fecking nightmare to be around with children seeing as you have zero understanding of how they work? How you expect perfect behaviour even during kids time at the cinema?

We started teaching our dcs how to behave in a cinema by going to these showings from age 3. I think you expect disruption at a childrens showing (hence the ticket price) I would, however, expect a parent to remove a child for bad behaviour (which in my view is not commenting quietly to the adult they are with or swapping seats occasionally). I've never been too disturbed at any of these viewings by people so maybe I'm just lucky!

Now my dcs are a bit older we sometimes go to a normal viewing (although I do begrudge paying full cinema prices ) and they now don't move from seat to seat/give a running commentary on the film as they tried to when we first started 'training' them. (as an aside last time we went I fidgeted more than they did, at 20weeks pregnant I just couldn't get comfy, thankfully people were understanding if not I may well have burst into hormonal tears )

Op I think YANBU at all I hope you continue to enjoy films with your dc

Oh PooPoo, do stop picking up on one thing and worrying it to death, we both know what over investing means, and I think you are guilty of it - as evidenced by your increasingly personal posts. I'm not a 'fecking nightmare around children' because I have higher standards than you at the cinema, you need to exercise some perspective I think.

And similarly, I am not intolerant, impatient or thoughtless because I object to badly behaved children spoiling the film for the other, well behaved children, and do not consider this viewpoint to be extreme.

I am in a minority of one on your thread, so you must be very happy that YWNBU bingdweller.

I actually agree with the sentiment of your point, badly behaved children ruin the enjoyment of a film for everybody around them.

I suppose it's finding a level of acceptance to both yourself and others and appreciating everybody is there to hopefully enjoy the same thing.

adeucalione Not higher standards, unrealistic standards, and standards which don't match the occasion . . . a cheap morning session for young children who might be a bit fidgetty and noisy! If you want it perfectly quite DON'T GO TO ONE OF THOSE SESSIONS!

I have nothing else to say to you that wouldn't result in deletion and frankly I can't be arsed.

I'm sorry I have angered you so much poopoo.

It's really not worth getting so worked up about a disagreement with a stranger on MN, particularly when we are discussing something relatively trivial.

There's nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree, and remaining civil - plenty here have managed it.

I wish that the last word had gone to bingdweller actually, a nice summing up I think.

I don't understand what over investing is

I think it means not agreeing with her and saying so!

The kids morning sessions are supposed to be packed with fidgety, noisy children. That's why they're cheap and on weekend mornings.