To be pissed off at the woman in the cinema?

[Bingdweller]

I took my DC (5 & 2.5) to a Kids am film this morning. DS sat beautifully and was really enjoying the film, DD (the youngest) did so well for the first 45 minutes before running out of food getting a bit bored.

The cinema was about 1/3 full so plenty of empty seats. A woman with her 2 DC - I'm guessing about 8 & 10 years old sat behind us then loudly commented to her kids about having chosen "the wrong seats". This was before the film had even started.

Anyhow, 45 minutes in, my LO decided to sit on the step. She just didn't want to be in her seat but was at my feet. She then sat on my knee for a bit, then back on the step after about 20 mins. There was no shouting or loud talking at all from my two.

The woman tapped my shoulder and asked me to take her out as she was ruining her DC enjoyment of the film (one which has been out on DVD for several months). I stayed in my seat with LO on my knee for the remainder of the film.

I totally get that taking a 2.5 year old to the cinema might not end well, had she been shouting etc. I would have taken her out. AIBU to suggest that taking older children to a Kids am viewing then expecting perfect silence/no moving from younger children for the whole 90mins isn't realistic? I wouldnt dream of taking DD to a full price showing waste of money for a start. Is this not the point of Kids am, to expect some disruption hence the low ticket price?

thank goodness horrible woman wasn't sitting at the other side of the cinema next to the unaccompanied popcorn throwing kids!

I glared at the cow on the way out as I think she ruined our enjoyment of the film more than her viewing was disrupted by us......

What are you supposed to do if you have older children and haven't got anyone to look after the others?

Don't go. Seeing a movie isn't a basic human right yet is it? Watch a DVD.

No what you do is take them to a CHILDRENS VIEWING WHICH IS AIMED AT THEM!

IF they can do so without disturbing other paying customers.

YANBU, if it is a family screening or kid club screening you expect a bit of noise and movement. it doesn't sound like your DD was being a nuisance.

The customers with slightly older children, or toddlers who know how to behave, I mean.

Any one who goes to any screening at a cinema runs the risk of a coughing lunatic behind them, a very tall person infront, giggly teens ruining all the scary parts etc etc.

So why shouldnt you expect that at a childrens screening there might actually be children doing things that children do?

How will children ever learn how to sit in a cinema if they are banned until age 4?

If you want the cinema experience without the annoying other people then install a cinema in your house.

FWIW DD is 3.6 and I havent taken her yet because she wont sit through a film at home. But if I had an older child I wouldnt want them missing out.

BTW that woman was only concerned about her own viewing experience. Her DCs probably didnt even notice you.

Kids Club screenings are specifically aimed at people with young children. My local one has a 'warning' board outside stating that you should expect disruption and noise from the children at the screening. I think if you were to complain about a child talking or moving from their seat to sit on some steps they'd laugh. It's only if children are doing something dangerous or are spectacularly out of control that they are asked to behave, or are thrown out.

It does irritate me when people with older children go in and act annoyed and disapproving all the way through. They can read. The cinemas policy is very clearly stated at the doors and on their website. I think some people just want the cheap showing but don't want the whole kids club experience with it . Tough!

Bit like the woman who came to the Baby Club showing of Inception and moaned about all the babies. After the film had ended. And tried to get her money back .

Erms it a childrens viewing you you expect a bit of low level noise. If you want silent go to another viewing

Exactly scrambled

Sorry, that's a YANBU to the OP. Don't stop taking your kids to the cinema just because of one rude woman.

"Don't go. Seeing a movie isn't a basic human right yet is it?"

No, but it isn't for you either!

I don't know about other cinemas but the Vue Kids am early showing of an old film IS aimed at families with younger fidgety kids.

If you can't cope with fidgety kids at a kids am showing, maybe you should get a DVD.

I love kids club cinema! I can take my (ASD and usually very challenging) DS who for some reason is an angel at the cinema and be the one who has the well behaved child (the only place I am that parent)

YANBU keep going! it doesn't bother me in kids screenings when kids are kids. I always assumed that was what it's for. I just go because it's cheap, I can't afford normal cinema prices!

(although DS may say very loudly 'shush in cinema')

"I think some people just want the cheap showing but don't want the whole kids club experience with it"

Yes, I agree! Our local kids am showing is now regularly being used as a kids birthday party. To be honest the groups of a dozen plus screaming 8 year olds make the fidgety toddlers seem like a dream

The worst was a group of 15+ 12ish year old girls who had NO interest in the film and were playing tag in the aisles

Sorry, I've gone all cinema waffly.

Ah, well a sign outside warning you that there might be noise and disruption is a different thing entirely - of course you would BU to complain in those circumstances - but neither of our cinemas have those.

I certainly wouldn't object to coughing, or a tall person either, and don't think that those things are comparable - nothing the perpetrator can do about those things really.

But children ruining the film for other people, particularly when the parent smiles indulgently because 'that's how it is at a children's showing' are pains in the arse.

Oh, this'll get me in trouble, but I have taken my DD to normal showings of Kids films. She's 2.6 - and we've been doing it a while.

Now, we never go in the first week when it's likely to be packed, and we pick latish evening showings so she's tired and likely to want to cuddle. We pick seats and film times carefully - always isolated on the booking screen (and we wait till the last minute to buy them to be sure) or on one of the little blocks on the far side of one of the aisles, so there's no-one too close. And always as close to the door as possible, so I can haul her out without disturbing people is I have to.

We take her blanket, and ply her with food and drink, and by ten minutes in, she's usually sat on my knee, watching the thing and absolutely quiet.

Yes, she moves, occasionally, from me to her Dad - but who honestly sits completely still for two hours? - and occasionally, she'll ask me for something - in a whisper. Other than that, she's good as gold.

I would take her out of a film that she didn't gel with. I have, the once it happened, and quickly - I am aware that other people didn't come to be annoyed by her.

The thing is, the one time I tried the Kidsam thing, it drove me nuts. The behaviour of some of the parents - not the kids, who were being kids - was awful - no control, no discipline and half the time they were talking, at full volume. Too, DD's behaviour was much worse because she kept being distracted and she couldn't watch the film. So I won't be doing that again.

I'm aware she (and we) might be odd in this respect, but she sits, she watches, she's not disruptive, we pay for her seat (and ours), it's a film aimed at Kids and she enjoys it. Why shouldn't she be there?

I don't think OP was being unreasonable. As long as her child wasn't shouting, jumping up and down, throwing food or crying all the time, she did nothing wrong.

I always took my DC to normal showings of kids films too, ginnybag, in exactly the circumstances you describe, so it can certainly be achieved without disturbing anyone at all.

I don't think that children learn anything about how to behave in the cinema by being allowed to talk at normal volume, repeatedly change seats, sit in the aisle etc.

When I go I rarely see anyone allowing their children to behave like that, mine certainly haven't. The OPs child didn't behave like that either.

The sitting in the aisles bit doesn't bother me so long as the way isn't blocked.

See I always thought the kids viewings weren't about letting them be disruptive as such, but letting them see a film and sort of training them to learn how to behave in a cinema. So noise is expected but the parents are going to shush them, repeat the rules etc?

Kids will be kids and cannot be expected to sit like statues, but you should expect a bit of low level noise.

I don't really believe the OP's version of events - that her child slipped silently from seat to step to knee, yet someone repeatedly tutted and complained and asked her to leave - but of course have no way of knowing.

Perhaps I am projecting a bit because of a miserable experience earlier in the week - definitely a significant minority of parents letting their DC be quite disruptive.

I expect most of them would justify it in much the same way that some on here have - to be expected, that's why the tickets are cheap, my noisy child has as much right to see the film as yours, if you don't like it get a DVD etc.

ginnybag I have too, when mine were about 2 and 5 I think. They were both fine and engrossed with the film. It depends on the child.

adeucalione You have absolutely no reason not to believe the OP. It's perfectly possible that the child moved seats twice(?) during the film without any disruptive noise. It's not even remotely impossible so why call her a liar?

The OP said the woman was unhappy about the children as soon as she sat down, so that would explain the tutting at nothing.

Not lying, maybe minimising, as parents who are on the back foot tend to do.

I already said I was probably projecting (twice).

Comments more directed at parents who think bad behaviour is acceptable in the cinema really (with recognition of the fact that bad behaviour is entirely subjective and parents rarely think it applies to their child).

with recognition of the fact that bad behaviour is entirely subjective and parents rarely think it applies to their child

Well I don't think that's true. I am well aware when my children are behaving badly and/or disrupting others, as are all the other parents I know.