To be fucking angry when other parents allow their kids to hit my 5yo DS?

[Ozziesmom]

Ok sorry for the swearing but I am at my wits end!

DS is an only child and is just not used to being hit! I have two good friends whose children think thumping mine (and I mean thumping not a playful slap) is ok? Neither parent does anything bar a brief 'dont' do that' while mine is in tears, shocked, hurt and looking at ME to protect him, it's so upsetting. I am not in the practice of telling other peoples kids off, though sorely tempted to at times and I genuinely do not know how to stop it from happening?

I don't want to tell him to hit back as I just don't believe in it but I am at a loss of what to do otherwise? tips anyone? I don't really want to loose the friendships I have and genuinely feel this is something which I/he will need to learn how to deal with at some point. I think the other parents see their own kids fighting and so its pretty much the norm for them?
Thanks in advance!

Teach your son to say 'stop bullying me' as well as stop hitting me.

That might wake up the other parents a bit more and also give you a chance to go in and be able to tell the other child that it's not nice to be a bully if the other parent does nothing because bullying tends to be an extended thing rather than a single hit so they are not going to want their child to be constantly being told off for bullying - whereas they can kind of dismiss each hit as a one off and forget about it if they are so inclined.

The other thing to do is have some kind of reward bribery up front for not hitting. Say have a small bowl for each child with a few smarties/jelly babies/Pringles/etc in. At the start of the session say that these are for them to eat at the end of the session. But if there is any bad behaviour then they will lose a sweet. And if that bad behaviour involves hitting/hurting/upsetting another child then the sweet will go to the hurt child.

It works because you are telling the child and their parents that you are anticipating a problem but there is something the child can choose to do - ie behave - and get a reward. Plus your dc can see other child is having sanctions when he gets hit. And you can make a big deal of moving sweets over from naughty child's bowl to good child's with lots of ooh now be good and don't lose any more comments.