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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum looked after DS for weekend and DH not happy he didn't get updates

65 replies

uselfullife · 07/08/2012 16:26

Just that really
I'm very grateful to mum for looking after DS for weekend, while I went away.
Dh very annoyed that she couldn't get DS to phone him, or send any photos or updates

OP posts:
ThePigOnTheWall · 07/08/2012 16:56

How passive aggressive can you get? To sit there and whine that she didn't phone, when he could have phoned her

He sounds like a prat

PissyDust · 07/08/2012 16:57

What do you think he is jealous of?

If he was that bothered he could have had his son from Saturday onwards especially as yourmum was unwell.

mumto2andnomore · 07/08/2012 16:57

Was he worried ? I like a few texts when mine are away with grandparents just so I can relax and know that they are ok

TheLightPassenger · 07/08/2012 17:11

I don't understand - did he only want your mum to look after him on the Friday, rather than the whole weekend? As on the face of it, he should be bloody grateful.

pictish · 07/08/2012 17:16

Oh God - life is too short - tell him to straighten his face out. He is bu.

ceegeebee · 07/08/2012 17:29

Why didn't he collect DS on Saturday? Don't really understand why MIL had to look after him for a whole weekend just because of the Friday. Your DH sounds like a lazy twunt

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 07/08/2012 17:35

Why would he want photos?
I can understand a call but photos?
God how would he have functioned in the days before phones?

And he sounds an arse. Could nphe not have gone and picked ds up early?

pictish · 07/08/2012 17:39

If he was that bothered he could've looked after his son himself, couldn't he?
It's pretty rude to complain about someone doing you a favour!

If I was looking after someone's child for the weekend I would not think to send updates and pictures. Why does he expect it?

Wtf?

Original poster
uselfullife · 07/08/2012 17:53

Nothing fishy
She lives 200 miles away. So couldn't really pick him up.
Mum was unwell for a morning
Dad was there and sil and brother around, so she didn't have to just struggle through it

I dont think he was worried
Jealous- that my family are having a good time with his son

OP posts:
MNsFavouriteManHater · 07/08/2012 17:56

wadda baby

Numberlock · 07/08/2012 19:41

How far away were you on your weekend away from your mum's? Did you have to make a 400 mile round trip just because your husband allegedly couldn't get the Friday off or were you away near your parents home? Why is she having him again this weekend?

We need a bit more information OP.

ChaoticismyLife · 07/08/2012 19:53

He needs to grow up and stop being pathetic. If he wanted to know about his son then he could have text or phoned.

ssd · 07/08/2012 21:51

sounds like he likes the free babysitting more than being with his son, despite his protestations

Original poster
uselfullife · 08/08/2012 00:27

I had a weekend away with one of my best friends from US. We were in Spain
I drove to mums and flight was booked from there, return.
Had chat with him tonight, and although he didn't apologise, I think he realised that mum had enough in her plate to text him.

My mum is coming this week to bring my nieces to London(summer hols) and we have Olympic tickets, so she will be here with children. We had babysitter booked, but as she'll be here, she said she will look after him

She lives for the children, I talked to him tonight about how lucky we are.

OP posts:
MNsFavouriteManHater · 08/08/2012 07:09

Yes, you are very lucky

And you (and he) should be thinking about your mum's health (even if she isn't)

danteV · 08/08/2012 07:20

I get the Friday, but he should have got off his arse and picked his child up Saturday if it was such an issue or if he wanted an update, he should have rang her himself.
Is he always like this?

Sirzy · 08/08/2012 07:21

If my parents are looking after DS I send them a text to make sure all is ok and will sometimes phone after his bedtime to check no problems. I wouldn't expect them to make contact with me

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 08/08/2012 07:22

HIBU.

And your mum was in contact with one parent - ie you, by text. If my parents had been looking after my DCs whilst I was away and DH at home, they certainly wouldn't think to ring him if they were in contact with me. But I would expect my DH to ring them in these circumstances, probably just once to say hi and check all was well.

The same would apply if it was DH away and the ILs doing the lpoking after.

danteV · 08/08/2012 07:25

Surely the 200 mile trip had to be done at some point. He could have picked him up, he didn't want to. He preferred to feel sorry for himself and moan, very passive aggressive.
The fact he hasn't apologised for his strop says more tbh.
Dd is away with mum for 4 days at the moment. She wouldn't text me. However if I want to see how they are I would ring or text her, simple. And dh would do the same.

PooPooInMyToes · 08/08/2012 07:30

So how did your child get to and from your mums?

MNsFavouriteManHater · 08/08/2012 07:37

I would presume OP took ds to her mums where she flew from (to Spain) and picked him up on her own way home ?

This lazy husband of hers did fuck-all, it would appear

But still managed to make it all about him

Original poster
uselfullife · 08/08/2012 07:49

Yes, I took DS to mums and then flew from there

OP posts:
PooPooInMyToes · 08/08/2012 08:35

I wonder if your husband is feeling guilty about how lazy he clearly was and so is trying to deflect.

Numberlock · 08/08/2012 08:44

So you live in London but had to drive to an airport 200 miles away (Manchester?) because your husband couldn't (wouldn't) have the Friday off work?

Are you sure this isn't about you having a weekend away with your friend?

(Hope you had a fab time by the way!)

PooPooInMyToes · 08/08/2012 08:45

Yeah that's true, could be trying to guilt you about that.

How lucky you are to have such a helpful mum! Smile