Ok back story: DS has ASD, for some reason he is terrified of big dogs. I don't know why, I've tried everything to help him get over it, the farm he goes horse riding at has big dogs and after a while he was fine with them but then only them. I've tried the dogs trust, and when he gets used to a dog he's fine, but again it's only the dog he knows, he's still terrified of other dogs, especially when they run at him (being friendly) he screams and tries to climb up me. Sometimes when out of a dog is walking near him and he's obviously worried, the owner can show him that the dog is nice and DS may throw a stick for it (never touch it) , but if a dog runs up to him he doesn't like it.
Anyway me and DS were walking through the woods this morning and walking behind us a bit were a couple with a walking toddler and a little dog, DS was a bit nervous of the little dog but it left him alone so after a bit he forgot about it.
Then from the other direction walked an older woman with a border collie. The border collie saw DS and obviously thought he'd like to play with him (I understand as a lot of children love it when dogs come over) and ran over to DS wagging his tail. I said 'ahh DS look doggy likes you' (but he hardly understands much so it was more the tone I was going for to try and make him feel better)
But DS screamed, kicked, climbed up me, the lady said 'it's ok he won't bite' of which the only word DS could understand was 'bite' which made him even more scared and I lifted him up and he was in bits while I told him it was ok and petted the dog a bit.
The dog then saw the toddler behind and ran to him, which the toddler loved, so I put DS down and started calming him. The lady then walked up to the parents behind us (obviously in earshot) and said 'it's nice to see children who aren't scared of dogs instead of those whose parents drag them away'
I didn't drag him away. I lifted him because he was scared and she didn't call the dog away and said 'bite' I got really upset and walked off.
AIBU to think that of a child is scared of dogs then it's scared of dogs, it isn't the parents fault, and if the child is obviously getting scared you'd call your dog back instead of slagging off the parents for having a nervous child?
DS isn't scared of anything else, he'd happily stand in the middle of the main road if he could. I don't know why he's scared of dogs. I can't help him :(
Was the woman being unreasonable or should I have done something different?