I want DC2, DH doesn't

[rattlingovaries]

I know I'm probably BU, but I really don't feel it.

DC1 is 2, I am 42. I want to TTC asap really badly. I did enjoy being pregnant and all that, but mostly I think it would be good, in the long term, for DC1 to have a sibling.

DH doesn't want any more kids. He's in his early fifties, is not in great health, and says he's tired enough with DC1 and doesn't want to spend his 'last years' changing nappies

I really want to at least give it a try but all my arguments are falling on deaf ears.

Are two DC's really much more work than one? I don't believe it really, at least not after the first couple of years.

I can't force him to TTC, but it seems unfair he can force me not to.

Mind you I suggest the above on the assumption that you, as mum, do most of the childcare. If he is a sahd then yabu.

I am listening to DH Nanny0gg, I just think he's come to the wrong decision

ROFL!

So you're listening but not 'hearing'. Same as on here really. You want what you want and your DH's wishes don't come into it.

What will you do when he stands firm?

He does not want another child. You cannot presume that he has made the wrong decision and yours is right. You simply cannot.

It doesn't matter if he is unreasonable for not wanting another child. It's his choice. You cannot force a person to change their mind over something as life changing as this. It's unfair on every level.

I think you need to be realistic, you either accept you will not have a second child or you decide that having a second is the most important thing and leave your husband and conceive with someone else.

I know it sounds harsh but it's reality.

If you conceive, with your husband very reluctant agreement, due to you basically forcing him into it, don't you think he will on some level resent that child? What if you have a colicky baby who cries non stop? What if your husband is unwell?

YABU. You're not listening to what he's saying.

For what it's worth, I'm in your DH's position - DH would like another child, I can't face it. I'm younger than he is, but I'm completely shattered from two years of sleep deprivation and the first pregnancy did some permanent damage to my pelvis. The physio warned me that if I had a second child I'd probably have to be in a wheelchair for the last trimester, and we actually couldn't cope if that happened: I don't know how I'd even get to work, our house isn't accessible etc etc, and DH would have to cope single-handed with DS. DH is sad but accepts that I have valid reasons for not being willing to have another.