AIBU to want to throw the bastard thing out of the window already??

[ScarletLadyOfTheNight01]

My Mum loves to buy things for DD (20mo). I really really don't mind as her only other grandchildren are grown now and my parents really do dote on her. They're retired and have a bit of money so they can afford it. It's also nice as we don't have much money so I like to see my DD with nice things.

They bought her a LeapTop yesterday and she LOVES it. The bloody thing is driving me mad though...and I actually want to throw it into the fires of Mordor already. She plays the alphabet song constantly and tries to sing along...but the noise is a high pitched squeal that sounds like nails down the chalkboard of my soul (None of this has ANYTHING to do with my huge lack of sleep last night...honestly)

Any other stories of infuriating toys?

YANBU!

I am so glad my 2 have grown out of them now, and their gadgets now come with either headphones or volume control.

I remember DD1 driving me batshit crazy for about 2 years with a teddy bear that recited Goldilocks - I can still hear it in my head, I cheered the day the bloody thing went in the loft, then DD2 came along and started the whole sodding thing again.

The v-tech apple is currently haunting my dreams. Perhaps because DD likes to switch it on and off for an hour, so all it says is "Hello....Goodbye....hello....goodbye". Also it is horribly attention seeking and if she stops playing with it, it keeps playing music loudly until you -smash it with a hammer- switch it off.

Ring ring ring, play away, who is on the phone today?

Let's call ... the dog.

FUCK OFF. Aaargh.

The worst one I have is of unknown make, it just has 'country band' written on it. There are four animals and little levers that move in different ways so the animals pop up and make their noises. One is a chicken on one side and a duck on the other. It is the only lever my daughter has figured out. She will sit there for hours making it go "cock a doodle/quack quack quack quack" until I want to poke skewers in my ears.

PMSL...thanks you've all cheered me up. Sounds like I have it easy compared to some toys

"Spud's on the job"

'Hello puppy calling do you want to play with me, let's have fun together while we learn out A B Cs'

I know it's been mentioned but it is truly the worst singing toy ever. DD is a bit older now and has a Woody doll. There's a snake in my boot makes me start twitching. He sometimes goes off in the middle of the night too.

Ah yes, Spud can FUCK RIGHT OFF with his stupid freaky legs.
We also have the princess mirror and DD will sit and press the button relentlessly for an hour. it's the worst toy in the world.

oh and zhu zhu pets are irritating wee fuckers too.

My parents gave me an old Fisher Price toy for DD that I had as a child which was dubbed The Maddener (needs capitalising). It's non electric but annoying as hell.

The more I think about it...the more I realise it might be carefully exacted revenge!

I'd forgotten about a magic fairy wand that made the twirly magic spell noise and didn't have an off button.

I was sick of it before we'd got it home and was relieved when the batteries ran down a few weeks later...it seemed like it had 24 hour use at the time!

We have that V-tech ball thing which DS loves. I gave it to him in his car seat once, then took him out and brought him to nursery without switching it off. DH had dropped us off and carried on to work with that damn thing chirping "PEEKABOOOOO! I SEEEE YOU! It's the GREEN BIRD" all the way there.

The bird loves to sing
tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet
This is the dog
The
The cat loves to sing

Again without 'help' from DS

The bird loves to sing
tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet
This is the dog
The dog loves to sing
woof woof woof woof woof woof woof
The cat loves to sing

The Mum loves to SMASH
SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH!!!

There was some kind of animatronic pig that did the 5 little piggies tune, only it seemed to be stuck on 'this little piggy squealed all the way home, huhuhuhuck, huhuhuhck, uhuhuhhuhuck'.

In a creepy inbred hillbilly cannibal voice. It's now in the garage, occasionally scaring the shit out of me when I need to do a rummage.

'Let's go to the zoo, hear the monkeys go 'ooo ooo ooooooo', let's go to the zoo right nooooooooow....'

That damn bus. Particularly grating when DS (who is only a year, bless him, so not his fault) turns it button side down... 'I like jazz....B is foooorrrr balloon...I LOVE learning phonics...I like classical mu... ... blue star, orange triangle....

See I thought we had finished with the intensely irritating noisy toys when our youngest girl hit 6. No no no how wrong I was. Some fucker bought her a HSM microphone which plays only 2 tunes

Ahhhh the V-Tech bus! I love Rock and Roll! SCREEEEEECHHHH... VEE says vvvv SCREECH.. Blue square, blue blue blue square SCREEEECH

I think I have the bus. My MIL, who hates me, gave it to DS for his second birthday. He's TWO. He does NOT need to learn phonics. He especially does not need the quiz aspect which tells him whichever button he presses is wrong. The bus might have a nasty drowning accident in the bath soon....

Mini orchestra my brother bought for DD - she loves it, I hate it.

Each of the instruments has a little song about itself:-

'my sound is shrill and loud and this makes me oh so proud'.

Anyway, the batteries seem to have evaporated from it so it is annying no more.

My son seems to have every nosy toy going, he loves buttons and lights. He is also autistic so tends to get fixated on one button or sound and will press it over and over again.

He will take the toy to bed and even while falling asleep continually press the same button. He also knows how to turn the volume up so even if I put the volume setting on low he will switch it back up again.

For that reason I have managed to block out the noise of most toys, it gets better as the batteries start to run down and they are less loud.

The only toy I haven't been able to ignore is a toy guitar my friend got him. It makes the most awful noise. However it was a very kind gift and he loves it so unfortunately it has to stay.

We bought a squite broken VTech type toy for 50p at a garage sale. It was sooooooooo noisy and irritating but for some reason my DD loved it and she learnt all her letters and sounds from it. ALL of them! I thought she was too young too learn them so hadn't bothered that much but she just found it captivating and started Kindergarten (we lived overseas) miles ahead of her peers thanks to that stupid broken toy.
We did have lots of other educational toys about , including lovely educational computer programs but the irritating noise from that toy was the winner.

Currently on loop chez Hairy "ring ring ring, play away who is on the phone today - let's call rabbit"

No let's fucking not!!