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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to my 6 week check and especially to not want to have to take my ds with me?

35 replies

Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:31

I'm fed up. And tired.

I don't really see the point in the 6 week check. If I had a prolem I would see the gp or the hv. I feel fine (apart from exhausted due to sleepless nights which is a given) and ds is fine. He saw the hv last week.

So what is the point of me dragging myself to the gp for a 6 week check??

The only reason I can see is to go back on the pill but I don't need ds to do that. I rang and asked gp if I need to bring ds and they say yes. (Dh is at home today so I could have left ds with him).

So convince me.. What are they going to do at the 6 week check? Why is it so important?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:33

(Sorry spelling is awful, I'm on my phone).

OP posts:
PenisVanLesbian · 07/08/2012 09:34

Don't go then.

Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:35

I've cancelled it twice already (ds is 8 weeks). They ring me up and pester me.

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 07/08/2012 09:35

I have to say I don't see much point for you, but this is the point that they formally screen for clicky hips and things which the HV does not do, so ds does need to go

sheeplikessleep · 07/08/2012 09:36

Because it's a GP, not a HV.

Why not ask your DH to drive you / carry your DS, so the process of getting there is easier?

I don't know whether you have to go, but is it not better just for peace of mind?

raininginbaltimore · 07/08/2012 09:36

It is actually more about baby than you.

lindsell · 07/08/2012 09:37

I agree with the postnatal check of you - I found it a complete waste of time both times but the 6wk check of the baby by a dr is important IMO as it's the only time other than straight after birth that they get a thorough check up.

oreocrumbs · 07/08/2012 09:37

The doctor checked DD out at our 6 week check and put me on the pill. That was it as I too was fine.

I can't remember what they checked DD for, but it must have been something!

Gumby · 07/08/2012 09:38

It's a 6 week check of the baby too
If you're tired & exhausted they'll want to ask you questions to see if it's more than that

Sirzy · 07/08/2012 09:39

At my Ds 6 week check the gp picked up on 2 issues which needed following up. One he has been monitored and since discharged, the other required an operation.

Better to go and feel you have wasted your time than not go and something not be noticed

KaFayOLay · 07/08/2012 09:39

They do a hip and heart check at my surgery.
It is definitely worth going.

Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:39

Really? I always thought it was more for the mum...?

I admit I am being a bit of a lazy sod.. The thought of having to feed ds and get us both ready to be anywhere by a set time fills me with horror (I say this with the realisation the school holidays won't last forever and I will have to get dd and ds ready for school run in september)!

Sigh. I guess I will just go then.

OP posts:
sheeplikessleep · 07/08/2012 09:40

Can you get your DH to pack everything up / get your DS ready and carrying / strap in your DS to the car, so all you literally have to do is get in car and then walk into surgery?

RuthlessBaggage · 07/08/2012 09:42

Also, if you get a "reputation" for not going to routine checks, and God forbid DS is later poorly or injured, you may leave yourself open to accusations of neglect.

Yes it's a pita but just get it over with and stop being such a princess because it is for your benefit and can flag up serious conditions including at one friend's check the fact that her apparently healthy baby was in heart failure...

sheeplikessleep · 07/08/2012 09:44

Ruthless - bit harsh! Are we not allowed to be fed up and tired with a newborn? I think OP was just asking whether it was an important check or not.

I personally found all of the baby weighing a bit tedious. I don't think that is that important after a bit, but GP checks are worth doing, IMO.

Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:45

Thanks.

Ok so iabu... I see that now. I'm just so exhausted and fed up to be honest, I'm not depressed as such but everything with ds is such a hassle...I don't know how anyone does anything with a young (wakeful) baby without a lot of stress (and I say that having also had dd now aged 8).

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:47

I wasn't being a princess. I genuinely didn't know what they had to do hence me asking. I've seen a lot of hv's etc as I had a difficult birth and I wasn't sure whether the check was necessary and I didn't realise it was more for ds.

OP posts:
EssexGurl · 07/08/2012 09:49

Where I live there are two checks - 6 weeks for baby and 8 weeks for mum (or otherway round, can't remember). Anyway, whilst I agree they are probably a waste of time, I do think you should go. Once you have a baby you are on the radar and they won't let things like this go.

I developed PND 5 months after my son was born. One of the few things in my favour was that I had attended all appointments, had religiously gone to the clinics for weighing etc. and so was deemed to be a conscientious mother. If I had not, then I seriously think that the HVs / SSs would have taken more proactive action. I had 1 GP, 1 psychiatrist, 1 social worker and 2 HVs in my lounge at one point discussing whether to section me or not.

DS is now 7 and everything has been fine since he was 1 year. But we are still on a list somewhere - and DD is flagged too. When I filled in a questionnaire about her development at 3, I had the HV visit me as I mentioned there were some concerns about her eating (typical 3 year old stubborness). I still get random phone calls from her to check things are going well.

I know that this is worst case scenario and am sure you will be fine - but as I say, you are now on the radar and if you avoid them then they will just get more persistant.

Also, you say you are fed up. Not a great start to a thread and would ring alarm bells with me if I were your HV/GP.

Please go.

BarredfromhavingStella · 07/08/2012 09:49

How odd, my 6 week check was purely for me & nothing to do with DC either time (complete waste of 5 minutes too).

The baby check thing was done at 8 weeks, HV, GP then onto nurse for 1st set of immunisations.

Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 09:58

Thank you. I can see what you're saying.

I think part of my annoyance is that I had pnd after dd and I find it really insulting that you can't say to anyone "I'm fed up" or "I'm exhausted" without them pulling out a pnd questionaire and assuming you're getting pnd... I mean unless I'm seriously screwed up what new mum doesn't feel exhausted and fed up quite a lot of the time? If I could get 8 hours sleep I am sure I'd feel better but I accept that's not going to happen anytme soon and I am coping and just getting on with it.

I do have a lot of support from dh and he helps during night feeds so I can't be too moany. Just tired that's all.

OP posts:
PoohBearsHole · 07/08/2012 09:58

At our 6 week check my Dr picked up a small thing that the HV had missed weirdly to do with toe nail Confused on my ds, he said to keep an eye on them but didn't tell me why.........however it was quite nice to just get out baby and me Smile

justintimefortea · 07/08/2012 10:00

In the grand scheme of things it's probably not registering that high on you priority list but then how else you going to get yourself on a contraceptive or have your baby throughly checked?
Neither are available to order safely on amazon...

Just a little concerned about the 'can't be bothered to do most things with DS' comment.... What does that mean?

Rubirosa · 07/08/2012 10:02

I had a 6 week check for me and an 8 week check for DS - pity they couldn't have done them together!

I find it strange that you would be annoyed that the HV/GP is taking a closer interest in your mental health given that you have previously had PND - surely you can see that that is a good thing?

Thelobsterswife · 07/08/2012 10:04

Bless you Wigglewoo. Sounds like you have had a horrid time of it. Hope you start to feel better soon. Is DS smiling yet? I found the 6 week point a really turning point with my first when she started smiling. Before that, things felt pretty desperate. Hope the 6 week check goes fine, and you can get back and put your PJs on and chill!

Original poster
Wigglewoo · 07/08/2012 10:05

I just meant that getting out of the house with ds is hard work. You have to think "I want to go out at xx, I need to feed at xx, then ds will wake up at xx so I need to be back by xx or have enough feed with me" etc etc... Its all so relentless. But - I am doing it. Im out with ds and dd most if not every day, I've taken dd to the park with ds, to the supermarket, to a chinese pace for lunch (eating one handed as ds wouldn't settle!), driven them both to mcdonalds and then zoo....! I don't want you all to think I'm not going out, I am its just such a mega hassle.

OP posts: