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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cycling on pavements

90 replies

mrseffington · 07/08/2012 01:13

AIBU?
I know that you're not supposed to cycle on pavements. DD (8) is a timid thing at best but desperate to spread her wings somewhat. She's a good competent cyclist but I don't think ready to go on roads without me.

We live in a crescent, lots of bungalows, elderly residents, the crescent goes nowhere - if I was to sit in my sitting room and watch for a whole day I might see 2 people walk by.

DD has been begging me to cycle on her own - she doesn't want my supervision, she wants to cycle 'round the block' ENDLESSLY. I've told her yes, on the pavements. She's been happily doing this for a couple of weeks and is thrilled with herself.

Tonight she had a friend over for a sleepover and friend's mum brought a bike. The two of them spent over an hour having a ball going round and round and round and round. They are not loud, they are not fast, no signs of hell raising at all. At one point went out to check on them and they were in the road (cars, mostly driven by our elderly neighbours come hurtling round the crescent, usually in the middle of the road) and I gave them hell....

Next thing, DD is in here in tears saying that a woman took hold of her handlbars and directed her into the road saying 'THIS is where we cycle'. I went out and found said woman who was still huffing and puffing about the young generation thinking they rule the world and are so RUDE and entitled... My DD is all sorts of things, no rose tinted specs here but there is NO WAY on earth she would be rude to a total stranger, particularly an adult. I had a word with her, nicely, and said that I had given permission for her to ride on the pavement as I don't trust drivers on teh road and she is just gaining confidence on her bike. She smiled and nodded and said 'of course, she looks older than she is, sorry about that...' 30 mins later community police woman is at the door - she's doing what she's been asked to do but basically leaves saying it's fine that DD is on pavements.

Was I then being unreasonable to being slightly fishwifey on my visiit to our neighbour whilst informing her that my daughter was going to continue to cycle on our pavements/

OP posts:

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 19:14

Question: I have a 5 year old, just learned to ride her bike without stabilisers. Quite competent now but still wobbles like a good un if she gets carried away. I understand she would be forgiven for riding on the pavement, as she's a minor, bu what about me? I ride behind her so I can see what she's doing. If a policeman stopped me, would I get a fixed penalty or would common sense prevail? I could obviously ride on the road next to her but i don't.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 08/08/2012 19:16

Well you should.

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 19:19

Excellent, thank you.

LunarRose · 08/08/2012 19:34

Probably common sense would prevail. Point is you are out supervising your daughter. Presumably though if you daughter upset someone with her riding you would take her home or find somewhere else to ride.

not go rub a neighbours nose in it

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 19:43

She goes in front and usually says excuse me and always says thank you. Most people smile and step aside. She is slow, if I was to ride on the road I'd be more of a hazard I think. If she went like a lunatic and almost knocked someone over I'd be livid, and I wouldn't blame the person for being angry.

If the op's daughter was riding slowly that's one thing. But if the child was hurtling around and almost collied or knocked the lady over, that's another thing.

sancerreity · 08/08/2012 19:54

why is she expecting pedestrians to step aside for her??? They have a right to be there your precious little bunny doesn't . Tell her to dismount and push

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 20:05

She doesn't expect it, neither do I. Maybe I live in a nice friendly area where people are happy to move aside, they move aside of their own accord, and every one I pass smiles and speaks to us. Or we stop and let them past. Maybe you live in an area where everyone is miserable and no one ever moves because why should they? Shame that.

And she's 5. 5 year olds should ride on the road? Really?

And anyway if she dismounted and pushed she'd be taking up more room. As it stands she has courtesy to the person passing, or vice versa. It's not the end of the world really, is it. As for "precious little bunny", I wouldn't come up with such a pathetic description for a child, well done for coming up with that on your own though.

sancerreity · 08/08/2012 20:28

maybe they are moving because she is saying 'excuse me' at them rather than dismounting??

StunningCunt · 08/08/2012 20:32

I live on a cul-de-sac and there are some kids who live up the road of a similar age. Very few people walk along the road because it's a cul-de-sac, few cars too, but the cars are going very much faster, sometimes much too fast.

They are not harming anyone, anyone can see them there.

The woman in this case was just being a busybody bitch. It seems like there are some busybodies here too.

It is NOT true that small children on a deserted pavement are necessarily hazardous, or it is negligent to let them cycle there unsupervised, or that they shouldn't be cycling on the pavement.

It's blindingly obvious that you should not tell a stranger's child to cycle in the bloody road!!! What happens if they get run down by a car? A person who would do this can only be described as bonkers, so I would have no reason to assume that my child was being a nuisance or whatever, based on a busybody nutter's word. I would just assume that she was being an officious cow.

GrimmaTheNome · 08/08/2012 20:51

Believe - read my long quote. If you're not endangering others (which obviously you aren't), carry on . Fortunately, like me you live in an area with low miserable-git demographics, where people smile fondly at small children mastering a skill safely.

Of course if you can teach her to anticipate people coming and stop where it's wide and easy for them to pass that'd be good.

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 21:30

Sancerreity, I don't know, I think i just gauge the situation. I can tell from a distance away if someone is going to step aside, or if I know I'll have to tell DD to stop and go to the side, because they're usually smiling and have already moved some way down the road. If they seem to be continuing as normal, then I tell DD to stop. Obviously if it's someone elderly etc she'll stop automatically. She'll say excuse me if someone is already standing to the side, rather than saying it assuming they should move iykwim. We are polite, and we don't assume we have right of way, she has good manners and if she didn't she'd get short shrift from me. As I say though, most of the time, it's clear from a long way off that people are happy to move for a small child, people are just friendly. And if they don't, we will, we won't both be moving when we pass each other.

Grimma, that's interesting to read and it's clearer to me now. Thanks.

BelieveInPink · 08/08/2012 21:32

I should point out that I wouldn't let her out on her own, because while I'm with her I can check she's being courteous. I'd hate for her to bowl someone over by going too fast and not thinking.

GrimmaTheNome · 08/08/2012 22:40

Quite right, at 5. By the time she's 8 - some kids are ready and able to spread their wings a tiny bit. By 11 they're getting themselves to secondary school solo. You have to pace these steps towards independence right for your own child, sounds like you and the OP have it about right to me.

TellyBug · 09/08/2012 00:23

Go cycling with her and book her on one of those cycling proficiency courses.

Cycling on the road is better, mainly because it's easier than on a cracked, uneven pavement!

However, I think if anyone ever feels unsafe they should be able to go onto the pavement. I've been stuck in horrible traffic with cars darting about and I've just had to get onto the pavement so I don't get run over.

GrimmaTheNome · 09/08/2012 08:44

Cycling on the road is better, mainly because it's easier than on a cracked, uneven pavement
that does depend on the road....potholes are worse than anything on a pavement. A well-surfaced cycle lane is a joy... but for small children, who won't be going that fast anyway, the surface doesn't make so much difference.

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