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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people could at least be polite to my DS

152 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 06/08/2012 22:25

on holiday recently with 2yo DS2. He is a chatty little fellow and I was amazed by the number of people who just ignored him when he wandered over for a chat. Whenever a child speaks to me I will always respond, even if we don't speak the same language.

Makes me rather irritated that when he is being friendly he gets ignored. I suppose some people just don't like children.

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 06/08/2012 23:09

Funnys - read my posts then you might get it

Kladdkaka · 06/08/2012 23:09

At the risk of getting lynched ... I can't stand little kids. It was bad enough when I had to talk to my own. Why on earth would I want to engage with some random one while out and about minding my own business? Besides which, they only ever speak gibberish. Am I supposed to under them or speak gibberish back? Plus I don't do fake smiles. I smile at someone when I'm pleased to see them.

QuintessentialShadows · 06/08/2012 23:11

I smile. I sometimes say hello. But not if I am sitting at a table, or somewhere where I cant get away.

A smile followed by a hello is the CUE to the child to latch onto you. It is the sign that they can stay and bother you with inane chatter. If you try glance to the parent, you will see that they are only too happy that their child is off bothering somebody else, they will have their nose in a paper/telephone/gadget and not notice.

Which is why a smile is all most of them will ever get.

Most parents are only too keen to let others entertain their little darling, selfish bastards they are.

< involuntary toddler magnet>

RubyFakeNails · 06/08/2012 23:12

I'm not even shy or quiet. I just don't want to be your child's entertainer, if that was my desire I'd be charging a couple of hundred quid and doing parties.

The worst, the absolute worst is when you have to stop what you're doing, or thinking about, do the smile and stare at the mother or whoever for her to look on approvingly.

You're lucky you haven't encountered my DM she will shoo your little darling away with no shame. If the child doesn't get it she will quite happily return the child to you.

openerofjars · 06/08/2012 23:15

The awkward one today was the poor old woman with no teeth who really wanted to chat about the terrible state of the local bus service. I could tell that she very much wanted a chat and that it was very frustrating not being able to make herself understood but she was pretty much incomprehensible, poor thing. I tried, I did, but it was hard going. And it turned out she was on the wrong bus. Sad

But at least her mum wasn't sitting a few seats over, giving me the evils for not interacting properly or worse, grinning proudly.

stemginger · 06/08/2012 23:15

YABU I don't see why they should have to entertain your child.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 06/08/2012 23:20

I don't understand these people who say 'I am not your child's entertainer'. If an adult spoke to you would you say 'I am not your entertainer/information desk/guide etc'? Are you as rude to them or do you reserve your rudeness for those that can't retaliate?

Toughasoldboots · 06/08/2012 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

openerofjars · 06/08/2012 23:24

No, I just hide behind my newspaper and carrying drinking my vitriol.

Seriously, some of us just don't enjoy random human contact. I like my close friends and family. I'm not wild about strangers. Why is that so hard to understand? I like being an introvert: it's quiet and I get loads done.

KickTheGuru · 06/08/2012 23:24

And would you stand there for ages, begging for chips?

openerofjars · 06/08/2012 23:24

X-post

RubyFakeNails · 06/08/2012 23:24

If an anyone interrupts me or wants to 'natter' with me and I don't feel like it I don't do it. You want entertainment entertain yourself I'm trying to enjoy a meal/book/my own thoughts I don't are how old they are.

WithoutCaution · 06/08/2012 23:25

Surely a polite smile would be enough?

Yes I'm happy to be engaged in conversation toddler talk with relatives/friends children but I'm not all that fussed about those I don't know

doesn't want to become a toddler magnet

KickTheGuru · 06/08/2012 23:25

Oooh I forgot I have crisps!!!

WithACherryOnTop · 06/08/2012 23:25

83 posts and not a mention of France/Italy/Spain/Greece/Egypt/Turkey and their general superiority to all things British yet? Is everyone ill?

KickTheGuru · 06/08/2012 23:27

Not according to the Olympics medal table.

Booom-da-tish

Disclaimer:

drinking wine

Noqontrol · 06/08/2012 23:29

Kick Grin good point Wink

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2012 23:29

I have to say, how I respond to random toddlers depends on my mood.

Obviously I try not to blank them but sometimes I might come across that way because I just don't want them clinging to me...as some of them tend to do whilst their parents smile on adoringly Hmm

Other times I'm fine and will strike up a conversation Grin

openerofjars · 06/08/2012 23:30
KickTheGuru · 06/08/2012 23:31

accidentally punts opener in the adorable Barbie dress across the room

Aw she's so TWEE Grin

WilsonFrickett · 06/08/2012 23:34

Do you know, DS had a party a couple of weeks ago and one of the wee girls hurt herself, she was really upset so I took her hand and sat her on my knee for a cuddle till she was feeling better - just treated her like I would my DS basically (parents had dropped and ran).

But that wedding thread made me feel really uneasy, like I'd been inappropriate or something so thank you for your OP.

Kladdkaka · 06/08/2012 23:38

I don't understand these people who say 'I am not your child's entertainer'. If an adult spoke to you would you say 'I am not your entertainer/information desk/guide etc'? Are you as rude to them or do you reserve your rudeness for those that can't retaliate?

I've never had an adult wander over to me and try to engage me in inane gibberish, but if they did I'd ignore them too. Rudeness is a social construct and I don't adhere to the same system. To me, rudeness is feigning interest and fake smiles because it's dishonest.

Inneedofbrandy · 06/08/2012 23:40

I know this sounds horrible but it all depends on my mood and how cute the child is, not all children are beautiful and cute esp snotty dirty coughing germy ones. I will usually smile and say hello back and tell them they need to find their mums though.
Oh and when mine were toddlers they were not allowed to walk up to random people and bug them, most of the time random people would come over and strike up little talks with them.

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2012 23:41

Wilson I would have done the same and no up her own arse mother would have put me off cuddling a hurt/upset child.

We have to go with our instincts...or at least we should.

KickTheGuru · 06/08/2012 23:41

To be honest, I thought that wedding thread was going to be about me. I'd picked up a kid at a wedding and seriously, the chick was SO unimpressed. It was like she thought I was about to run off with it.

It wasn't even that pretty so that was never really in the plan.

Saw a lovely kid the other day that I would run off with though Hmm