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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rarely wash or brush my ds's hair?

63 replies

louloutheshamed · 06/08/2012 20:06

My 18mo ds, who I posted about last night in the 'beautiful kids' thread, has gorgeous golden bling curly hair. I was in the park with some friends the other day and they were talking about it and one asked, 'is it a nightmare to brush' which I was a bit flummoxed by because I have honestly never brushed it, I just ruffle it with a towel after his bath and when he wakes in the morning it is all curly and golden and adorable.

And then she said 'do you have to use loads of conditioner on it?' and I was even more
flummoxed! I hardly ever wash it, only if he has got food in it or has been doing messy play at nursery. Usually I just rinse it.

Is this mingling? I saw this as someone who washes and dries my own hair every day! But ds's hair just doesn't seem to need it. It is my favourite thing about how he looks but seems to look best when it's just left alone iykwim? Aibu?

I realise this is the second thread I have started about my ds's appearance in two days, I'm really not this shallow In rl!

OP posts:
VerityClinch · 07/08/2012 07:11

I have curly hair as does DS 20 months and the less done to our hair the better.

DD 3yo has poker straight hair and herd does need washing and brushing all the time to keep it looking shiny and in place.

nooka · 07/08/2012 07:12

My ds is 13 and has for most of his life had relatively long curly hair (he's had a few shorter haircuts too). He doesn't brush it ever and I can't remember the last time I did either. Except when it's dirty it generally looks pretty good (he's had compliments from girls). dd on the other hand has to brush her (straight) hair several times a day as otherwise it gets huge birds nest tangles that take hours to unpick or have to be chopped off.

LST · 07/08/2012 07:14

I wash my 9mo DS's everyday at bathtime but he's only got a few strands. Grin

pinkeydoodahwotsit · 07/08/2012 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flow4 · 07/08/2012 07:43

When I was a kid, every child had a bath and washed their hair just once a week, and no-one died! Grin (And I grew up in a posh part of town too!)

Daily bathing/washing of hair isn't good for the skin or hair and strips our children's bodies of natural self-cleaning, protective oils. It also means we're all now consuming much more water, electricity, soap, shampoo, conditioner, detergent for clean towels and clothes, etc. Daily bathtime also seems to me to be yet another thing for mums to feel guilty and inadequate about Hmm. Do whatever works for you and your kids! :)

JumpingThroughHoops · 07/08/2012 07:47

You don't need to bath/shower everyday - it is nice to do so, but you don't need to do it (unless you do a heavy manual job and stink to high heaven).

When I was a kid, every child had a bath and washed their hair just once a week, and no-one died

Exactly! And no one stunk because they body washed every day with a flannel and soap!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/08/2012 08:28

Baby led weaning = bath needed every day! Grin

BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/08/2012 08:29

Oh and if you ask me, potty trained but still only two year old = bath needed every day to wash that dirty backside properly!

nextphase · 07/08/2012 08:46

Straight hair here.
Bath every other night, and if he chooses to dunk his head, his hair gets wet. Shampoo only when its got food in it.

ZonkedOut · 07/08/2012 09:33

DD1 has straight, fairly long blonde hair. I wash it once or twice a week with water, I have never used shampoo on it. I brush it twice a day to get tangles out. It is in great condition. Natural oils are great for keeping hair clean and in good condition, don't knock it if you haven't tried it. I wish I had the nerve to try it on my own hair!

DD2 has very little hair as yet, but it is very fine and curly. I don't really brush it at all, when I do, the curls just go fuzzy. This might change as her hair gets longer, though.

ZonkedOut · 07/08/2012 09:40

Oh, and I bath my girls only every 2-3 days due to DD1's eczema (and DD2 quite likely to develop it). I used to wash DD1 daily, but the eczema got pretty bad. I can't stand the oilatum stuff she's supposed to have in the bath too.

They don't sweat a lot at this age and I wash the bits that matter every day. My girls are not minging!

Maamekin · 07/08/2012 09:47

Envy at everyone who doesn't have to wash their DC hair.

My 13 month old is a sweaty little thing (quite apart from her propensity to smear her food in her hair).

Her hair needs washing daily, with shampoo, in hot weather, or it is all matted and sweaty and smelling of butter. She hates having her hair washed, so I sometimes leave it a day if I can't face the screaming, but it really does need to be done :(

doublevodkaandcoke · 07/08/2012 10:00

DS has had loads of hair since the day he was born. When he was younger he had really bad eczema and was always being covered in creams which got into his hair and made it all greasy. It was also quite long and unruly. I used to wash it with Weleda and brush it every day.

However, now he is about to turn one, has had a haircut and has pretty much grown out of his eczema so a lot less cream etc. Now I am washing it once or twice a week max.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/08/2012 10:03

Still think it's gross and you can't "wash" hair with just water. That's my (obviously outnumbered) opinion though!

JollyHockeyStick · 07/08/2012 10:07

Ds is 15 months. His hair is lovely.

He has a shower and a bath every day, but has no products in either. Well, he has bubble bath about once a week.

I have once washed his hair with shampoo and that was because he had something grim in it.

Graciescotland · 07/08/2012 10:08

DS is nearly two, only gets his hair washed if he gets food in it, I rarely brush it as it's still baby fine and doesn't get tangles, fairly short and straight though.

MightBeSlightlyMad · 07/08/2012 10:40

When my dd was small i only washed her hair once a week unless she's got food or dirt in it.

Dd is 7 now and i wash it twice a week not because it's dirty but because it becomes more difficult to brush, like another poster said washing to much strips the hairs natural oils.

bluana · 07/08/2012 10:47

Mine used to have baths every night when little but didn't have much hair to wash at that age. Now older - tends to be every other night in winter, every night in summer with hair wash each time - tend to find mud sticks to sun cream in the summer. Brushing is a nightmare as hair v tangly - but have to do it or she looks like a scarecrow. I know friends only wash their dd's hair once a week and have to say, their dd's hair looks beautiful.

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 07/08/2012 10:54

DD (8 months) has her hair washed every day as she is blw and likes to use all her food as styling products. She prefers a 'beetlejuice' style hairdo to start the day (mashed banana is a great hair gel), and by bedtime has usually achieved a nice crusty mohican. Yesterdays squished raspberries added a lovely touch of colour too. DS1 has short hair and its gets washed when it smells (about once a week), DS2 has lovely shiny straight hair in a beatles mop top and that gets washed twice a week and brushed daily. They all have a splash in the bath every night, but that is more about routine than cleanliness.

Emandlu · 07/08/2012 10:54

My dd is 12 and has just started washing her hair with shampoo, she only does it occasionally though.
My ds is 9 and we only rinse his hair with water.

They both have poker straight hair though so it needs brushing regularly.

My dh never uses shampoo either and you really cannot tell.

I use shampoo every few days once my hair becomes too unruly, but if I do it daily it becomes so flyaway and static-y that I can't do a thing with it.

LadyFlumpalot · 07/08/2012 11:04

My DS is 19 months now and has chin length blonde curls. I really must cut his hair as people keep referring to him as a her! I love his curls though and worry they won't come back if I cut them.

I only ever wash his hair with shampoo (Dentinox for cradle cap) once a week on. Sunday, otherwise he just has a shower two or three times a week with no soap. I find that any product makes his skin flare up badly.

Obviously, I will wash his hair if it has food etc in it.

SoleSource · 07/08/2012 12:01

My DS has a shower and hair washed almost every morning.

SonOfAradia · 07/08/2012 12:06

DS has a bath most days, but we hardly ever wash his hair except if he's got mud/paint/gunk in it from playing. His hair is lovely and soft.

tara0202 · 07/08/2012 12:11

Bath every night here for 3yo dd and 13 week old ds.

Dd has v long ringlets hair. I wash it every second night. Brushed every morning.

I just use mild shampoos. Can't understand the point of 'rinsing' hair. Whats the point in wetting it?

I.do.think some people need to wash hair more often than others. Have to wash mine everyday or on day 2 it looks like chip oil in my hair!

SonOfAradia · 07/08/2012 12:15

Shampoos are completely unnecessary. If you stop washing your hair, it looks crap for a while then sorts itself out. I haven't washed mine with any products for around 8 years now, I just rinse it now and then and you can't tell at all: it's tangle free, clean and tidy.

The cosmetic companies don't like this fact, of course.

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