DH went balistic at me earlier today regarding MIL seeing our DD. i will apologise in advance if i post some boring facts but i don't want to drip feed (hate it when posters do that)
MIL is a lovely lady, no problems of not getting on etc.. we live in a village and she lives about a 20 minute drive from us. she is retired, doesn't have many hobbies or interests, she isn't alone, she lives with FIL and BIL and his wife (they have no kids and are moving out in october) she sees her sisters and brothers regularly, but doesn't really have friends. i want to let you know as well incase you feel it's relevant that she is unwell, she has problems with her heart and although it's under control at the moment, DH obviously worries that she will probably not get to a ripe old age.
she see's DD about once a week, sometimes more if we go for dinner at her house or she comes to ours. without fail everytime she wants to see DD she will ring me on the day and make me feel awkward if i say we have plans. she NEVER rings a day or two in advance, DH tells me not to ask her too ring in advance as she is set in her ways and won't listen, 70% of the time i juggle things around and let her take her for the day. she done this on friday, DD and i had plans but i let her take her as i don't really like saying no to her, i feel a bit mean.
anyway, DH rang her before, asked how she was etc... she said she was going to ring us in the moring as she wants to take DD out again for the day as she'll be stuck in bored otherwise (MIL, not DD) i have plans with DD again, we are going shopping and meeting my dad (he works away and is back for a week after being away working for a month) so i said no. once he'd got off the phone to her started moaning at me, saying she lights his mother's life up and i'd only said no because i was jealous that my own mum can't see much of our DD (my mother works every hour god sends, she is on a very low income, lives alone and can barely afford to pay her bills) this is partly true, it does piss me off that my mum can't see my DD more, it pisses my mum off too, but such as life.
i took offense and said i was sick of changing my plans, his mum should ring in advance. DH said he thought it was unfair that i got to make the decision that his mother couldn't take DD tomorrow, that his mum has rights etc... i said she's had her turn of being mum and that i had the final say.
anyway, i won't bore you with anymore of it but i am really pissed off at him, but i'm thinking am i out of order? she isn't in the best of health after all. if the phone rings in the morning i dread it if i have plans, because 9 out of 10 times it's MIL wanting DD. i know i'm lucky that she wants her, but my DD is well out of terrible toddler years and is a joy to be with. i work 2, sometimes 3 days a week so don't want to hand her over whenever MIL clicks her fingers. AIBU?