To think my Nanna is financially comfortable and needs to STOP moaning!

[hermionestranger]

She is adamant she is stony broke and asked dh (accountant) to go through her "books".

She has tens of thousands in the bank and has £245 a week disposable after all her bills! She was in tears again saying we were lying to her and she has no money! Argh! It's exhausting trying to get her to see she is ok. She is 89 btw but fully there. She has however been a drama queen all her life and it's exhausting! He says she has no family! Well except for her daughter, 2 granddaughters and 2 great grandsons she doesn't. Never a week goes by without her being visited and taken places by one of her family she doesn't have.

Argh!

It's incredibly sad to be that rich and still act as if you haven't two ha'pennys

I'd bloody hate that. No chance she has Alzheimers/dementia???? Irrational thoughts are one of the early symptoms.

I've seen this a lot working in nursing homes, many elderly people develop a fear of having no money or the money running out.

Sounds like my mil- she has memory issues so could this be a problem as other poster said. She can seem quite convincing when going on about lack of family visits etc

If she's always been like this she's not going to change.

If she's started gettig worse however it might be the onset of dementia perhaps. Paranoia is sometimes a symptom (I think).

She may be struggling with inflation. £50 used to buy a car, now it buys less than a tank of petrol it might just be that everything seems unbelievably expensive to her and she can't understand her income has kept pace.

That is interesting moomin as my mil got much worse when went Into residential care

As others have said, if this is new behavior, please get it checked out, as it could be an early sign on problems with dementia or similar :(

If its the way she's always been, there's sod all you can do to change it - my dgrandad is like that - plenty of money, but will moan that he can't.afford it when the price of bread goes up by 5p! I used to really worry about him until my dgran showed me their bank books to prove he's just tight, not broke!

You might be right in that she is just a drama queen, unfortunately.

She is of the generation where her husband would have dealt with the money and bill paying so if she is on her own now it has probably been a steep learning curve for her dealing with her own finances.

Although the family visit and take her out once a week there is still alot of time on her own probably watching tv and all the horror stories of the failing economy and people losing their pensions and loss of income from investments.

She's been on her own for twenty years! She's out most days or has people round an this is not new behaviour! He's always been a huge drama queen! All her
Friends tell Us so too.

She's not interested in any of her family, never has been, it's like we can never VE good enough for her.

I've had this with my dad. He had over two thousand pound a month income, mortgage paid off, no debts but is skint.

Definately be getting checked out though.

My first thought was early dementia if this is a new-ish change.

My wonderful GM doesnt spend a penny really on herself but has squirrelled away literally thousands of pounds. She was from the generation where money was really tight and you just had to have savings. It didnt matter that her outgoings were a tiny proportion of her savings. Now she gives money to her grandchildren (and great grandchildren) because it makes her happy.

I know so many older people like this!

My DP's aunt has quarter of a million in the bank but whines that she can't get a certain benefit or something free. She complains about the price of things IN THE POUND SHOP. If she lends you 27p them by god you're giving her that 27p back!

My grandma was like this a few years before she was diagnosed with altzheimers. You couldn't convince her that she had money. She appeared rational, was fully functioning, but this thing just got worse and worse. Then, after a couple of years, other things became apparent - like she used to do typing for her old boss and he stopped using her. We all thought he was really horrible, but it turned out that she had begun to make many, many mistakes.

Lots of little things that we didn't think anything of, until we were looking back on it all.

So don't rule it out on the basis that she seems fine and is independent etc.

Take her to the bank and have them tell her.

If she cries at them and tells them they are lying - you will know for sure that something is going on here.

At the bank she is totally on the ball and says that we never help her with her finances or explains them. Re: dementia her doctor has seen her and has no concerns.

It's so sad for her as well as all of us.

ok. Well, then perhaps you should stop. Refuse to do anything other than take her to the bank for her to go over it with them.

I wouldn't even be doing that, tbh. Says she's got no family? Moans all the time? Drama queen? Not interested in you? Acts like you're not good enough for her?

that would be bye bye granny for me.

That's what my mum and I said. Why we haven't walked away years ago I'll never know, call it family loyalty plus she's so old now it'd just be cruel.

My friends mum lives in a 2.5 million pound house and lives off tens of thousands a house and still moans she's skint! She bitches about how much it costs to heat her huge house

Sounds like she's got no problem being cruel though.

you're far nicer than me. You'll get your reward in heaven, I'm sure

While I'm downstairs, toasting marshmallows

I'll be with you there Hecate, couple of sausages on the barbie.

My MIl is 92 and exactly the same. She often asks if she can afford a newspaper and looks surprised when i tell her she could buy the shop if she wanted. She moans about the cost of everything and then does random things like walking into currys and spending almost 1k on two new laptops for my boys!

I think its just the generation to be honest. She has spent most of her life scraping by and just cant get out of the habit.

Yup. Barbie will be there