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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at not being invited to family party?

39 replies

themaltbycrew · 05/08/2012 21:58

My husband has recently discovered there was a family party this weekend. he only found out when his little brother posted pictures on a social networking site. We were not invited, neither was his sister. EVERYONE else was there. We have not offended anyone, and as far as he was aware were still part of the family,

Are we being unreasonable to wonder whay this is?

Only reasons we can come up with are..
We have kids.. (although there are kids on the photos so unlikely)
we are not living in the liverpool area.
we have been living 30 mins away for 10yrs and its never been a problem before.
his sister has just moved out of liverpool 60 mins away..

Are we being unreasonable to be annoyed that we didnt even get invited?

OP posts:
Adversecamber · 05/08/2012 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isityouorme · 05/08/2012 22:03

Why doesn't he call his mum/dad/brother and ask about it?

On the face of it, it's a bit mean to have a family party with not all the family.

MerylStrop · 05/08/2012 22:03

Was it at his parents or another siblings?

Could it possibly have been a more impromptu gathering rather than a "family party"?

Did you really want to go anyway?

louisianablue2000 · 05/08/2012 22:03

Honestly, some people just don't think. My aunt recently had my brother and his family over, plus her own daughter but didn't invite my recently widowed Mum round (the only other local family member). Poor SIL assumed Mum would be invited and was talking to Mum about it before hand and then felt terrible when she realised what my aunt had done.

Just invite your SIL over, post lots of photos on the same social networking site about the great family get together and they'll get the point.

NagooingForGold · 05/08/2012 22:06

ask.

maybe it was a spur of the moment thing or accidental? Sometimes I'll go to see my mum, and one of my sisters is there, someone else might pop round, we'll get BBQ stuff....

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 05/08/2012 22:12

It was a 80th birthday for the brother of his grandad, at a venue, so must have been planned well in advance, his little sister even got to bring a friend.
the only people not there were our family and his sisters both with 3 kids, and living outside liverpool.

he has commented on the photos with... " thats me there!... oh wait i wasnt invited!" and tagged himself in bar stools and balloons.

i just want to know if we are unreasonable. or is this normal in family parties.

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 05/08/2012 22:13

Spur of the moment, my family takes advantage of good weather. So loads of last minutes BBQ most live 5 minutes away so very easily done except my oldest sister who lives over 1.5 hours away. There is no
Invites just a text BBQ at 4

ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/08/2012 22:15

I think he'll get a better and more honest response(if that what you want) if he asks directly, rather than his childish comments on FB. Smile

Figgygal · 05/08/2012 22:16

Ah I quite liked his comments on fb Grin

usualsuspect · 05/08/2012 22:17

Why doesn't he just ask his parents why you weren't invited?

usualsuspect · 05/08/2012 22:17

I sniggered at the Fb comment though.

WorraLiberty · 05/08/2012 22:18

So it was his Great Uncle's party?

Is he particularly close to him?

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 05/08/2012 22:19

he was working.. but his sister asked their mum and got no reply. we have tried to get a reason off someone and they are all being very quiet.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 05/08/2012 22:20

Did he know it was his great uncles 80th?

solidgoldbrass · 05/08/2012 22:21

One of you's done something to piss them off. It could be something that's so awful they don't want to share it with the rest of you.

MerylStrop · 05/08/2012 22:21

get over it

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 05/08/2012 22:23

no he isnt close to him. but neither are the rest of them..thats just the problem we dont know what we have done to piss them off.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 05/08/2012 22:24

It does sound like the ones who went to the party may actually spend time with this relative if they knew it was his birthday and you didnt. But then maybe they thought you wouldnt want to go to an 80th birthday party that was half an hour away.

OAM2009 · 05/08/2012 22:25

I would want to know. Forgiveness / apologies / resolution are the way forward if there is a problem, not isolating and ostracising part of the family and never telling them why. That's really not nice Sad

While the FB comments ARE funny, it's unlikely to get the answers you want. Perhaps a visit to Liverpool is in order?

usualsuspect · 05/08/2012 22:25

Did they just think he would be at work and not be able to make it?

MerylStrop · 05/08/2012 22:27

I'm sure you haven't done anything to piss anyone off, they just forgot to invite you to something you probably wouldn't have wanted to go to.

Had you bought the Great Uncle a very special present for his birthday?

Original poster
themaltbycrew · 05/08/2012 22:29

The time the party was on he wasnt at work, and we didnt have plans, and had we been told we would have gone.. with or without the children ( my family would babysit). none of our imediate family ( that were invited ) were closer to him than my dh was.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 05/08/2012 22:30

You must find out and report back

mercibucket · 05/08/2012 22:32

I quite liked the fb comments :)
I would be really surprised and hurt if this happened in my family amongst my near family
I would probably ask why, and be prepared to feel upset about the answer

mercibucket · 05/08/2012 22:32

I quite liked the fb comments :)
I would be really surprised and hurt if this happened in my family amongst my near family
I would probably ask why, and be prepared to feel upset about the answer