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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to resolve this? Used baby items

50 replies

Tiptoeing · 05/08/2012 12:09

A friend of a friend when I had dd told me all about reuseable nappies, said she'd bring her son's old ones for me. She passed them to a mutual friend to pass to me insisting I'd like them if I tried them. I didn't really want them tbh, though it was a kind offer, as I live in a very small flat with no tumble drier or space to dry nappies outside. Tried them once or twice (winter) and they took 2/3 days to dry so washed and packed them up. Also some may find this off but I was the 4th user of them, I worried a bit they were too heavily used. I know some with disagree, maybe it was why they took so long to dry and they weren't great at absorbing?

I tried to be friendly, thanked her and after a while offered them back but she said to keep them for my next (she won't have more babies). Offered them back a few times, at one point keeping them in my boot for ages. They were bulky to have around a small flat. Now I probably shouldn't but a friend visited and admired them and partly out of relief at getting them out the way I said she could borrow them for a few months. She lost them during a house move I believe, now can't get them back. She ignores contact from me now, which is a shame because until this we saw each other2/3times a week. A asked a few times politely and justnever saw her again.

The person who orginally lent them fell out with our mutual frined, and me too by the link it seems.Angry with all. She's persuing me for the nappies back, and wants me to give her now £200 because she says it's what they cost her (looks about right looking on line). I don't want to pay out that much for something I didn't ask for, also nor do I want to replace old with new. I've given away a cot, buggy and other items as have others and we've shared them around friends. She says she wants the moneyto buy new ones to keep lending to friends.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 05/08/2012 12:12

Just ignore her. She is being pathetic

CrazyChicken · 05/08/2012 12:13

Its ridiculous she expects you to give her the original cost of them. You offered them back and she refused I'd take that as they were yours to do what you wanted with them.

frootshoots · 05/08/2012 12:13

She sounds like a fucking nut. Tell her to do one, and if she wants her money then she is chasing the wrong person.

delilahlilah · 05/08/2012 12:14

I think you did your bit in offering them back to her. I think she is just being weird tbh. She should have taken them back when offered.

honeytea · 05/08/2012 12:14

Can you just ignore her? It does sound silly for grown women to be falling out with each other. I could understand if she was having another baby but she isn't.

Needstotidyup · 05/08/2012 12:15

Tell her you will buy her some when she has nxt baby.

FormerlyTitledUntidy · 05/08/2012 12:16

Tell her to go sing for it! You offered them back and she refused.

foreverondiet · 05/08/2012 12:16

Just ignore, or say that you tried to give them back several times, they were taking up space in your flat, and someone did you a favour by taking them off your hands, it was that or the bin. She is being totally ridiculous.

savoycabbage · 05/08/2012 12:16

What a fruit loop! Not you. Ignore her of tell her to get lost. You didn't want them and you tried to give them back to her. Even if the other friend had them, it wouldn't matter. She gave them to you.

kotinka · 05/08/2012 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappySunflower · 05/08/2012 12:17

'She says she wants the moneyto buy new ones to keep lending to friends.'

How ODD!
I would ignore all contact from her tbh.

missymoomoomee · 05/08/2012 12:17

Tell her to take you to court if she feels she is entitled to the money. She is just being a bitch really, wanting you to buy a whole new set so she can lend them to people is childish to say the least.

pigletmania · 05/08/2012 12:18

ignore her, what can she do legally, not much. No they are what they cost originally when she bought them, she lets you used ones so they will cost a whole lot less, and she did not want them back. You dont give a gift and want it back Hmm. i would have given them away anyway if i were you, as they would be too bulky round the flat. Not much of a friend tbh

Tiptoeing · 05/08/2012 12:18

The problem with ignoring is she is a nut, obviously I didn't know her well enough to know this. I'm not involved in any fall out nor have I been rude. I'm feeling rather caugh tin the middle. She has contacted family members and work colleagues about this and I really am embarrassed about how public she'll make it.

OP posts:
Tiptoeing · 05/08/2012 12:19

The reason they didn't go straight back is we had no way of contact whilst I was on maternity.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 05/08/2012 12:20

oh god what a horrid person, hopefully your family know you and what a nasty person she is. delete all her numbers and facebook and have nothing to do with her and eventually she will get the message. if she still harasses you, call the police

pigletmania · 05/08/2012 12:21

or you could tell her that as they have been used 4 times you will give her the money that they cost now, might be about 10/20 quid

Icelollycraving · 05/08/2012 12:22

You offered them back,she refused. You have passed them to a friend who wanted to try them,perhaps you should have checked that was ok. She is clearly evangelical about washable nappies the weirdo
Explain the situation in very simple terms & then ignore.

3duracellbunnies · 05/08/2012 12:22

As neither of them are friends any more give the person who gave you the nappies the contact details of the person you lent them to and let them sort it out while you and your other friend who you are still talking to go to the pub and propose a toast to pampers!

missymoomoomee · 05/08/2012 12:23

You have nothing to feel embarrassed about she gave you some used nappies, you offered them back, she said no, you gave them away. All she is achieving is making herself look silly. If she is harrassing you or your family then maybe contact the police and seek some advice on what to do.

Flosie1989 · 05/08/2012 12:23

No you're not being unreasonable at all! Just ignore the mad woman!

If she keeps bothering you just tell her that after she refused to have them back you gave them to charity who could make good use out of them. She can't moan at that!

Tiptoeing · 05/08/2012 12:24

piglet- she has no contact for me, fb or mobile etc. nor knows my address, as I said we're not friends. The problem is she seeks contact through others and gives them a line, e.g. telling the other woman I run sunday school with I have something of hers and won't return it. I haven't actually seen her myself.

Just ARGH really.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 05/08/2012 12:25

i am sure that your friends will know what a silly idiot she is and wont give her a second thought

Tiptoeing · 05/08/2012 12:27

You all talk sense, I think being pregnant is leading to me being more easily stressed and upset than normal. Dh says to ignore but I feel so intimidated, she has been vicious to others.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 05/08/2012 12:30

I've got a load of old reusables that I can't give away! Does she want mine? They smell of wee a little bit...