to expect dh to come to bed at a reasonable time?

[susiegrapevine]

Am 37 + 6 weeks pregnant so baby could come any day. Am soooo hacked off this morn as dh came to bed at 3am last night!! Night before it was half 2 and night before it was half 1. Considering I could go into labour at any point I would like him to be well rested and useful to me when it does happen! I am fed up with treating him like a child and saying come on its bed time now (which he only listens to if I really really push the point. And when he got up this morn his was like oh a fell asleep at my computer last night!! Arrrggg I'm so annoyed I can barely speak to him. AIBU??

You should seriously think about grounding him, taking away his toys or cutting his pocket money. Once he is done on the naughty step you could tell him he can have a gold star if he goes beddybyes on time.

FFS pregnant or no. Get a grip.

I'm finding it quite scary how normal all this has become. People spend half the night on these games and no one bats an eye lid. :(

yousatwhaat surely he's the one that needs to get a grip and start acting like a grown up! And go to bed when he is tired and respect the fact that I need sleep more than anything at the moment or I will be too tired for labour and then where will we be! Rushed to hospital in an ambulance with all kinds of medical interventions and god know what outcomes!

well it sounds like you and DH have come to a understanding so that's all that matters :)

Indeed we have. Thanks climbingpenguin.

I don't think potential labour should have any impact on his "bedtime" as long as he is getting enough rest to function.

My recent planned homebirth ended with DH following an ambulance to hospital after being up for 24 hours. He tells me the tiredness was only a problem on the way home.

I do have sympathy for you though as DH stays up late playing computer games and is useless in the morning with the DCs. I realised I can't tell him to go to bed, but I can refuse to pick up his slack with the childcare etc when he wants "just another hour" in bed because he was shooting aliens at 3am. At least then it's him, not me, that has to live with the consequences.

Rushed to hospital in an ambulance with all kinds of medical interventions and god know what outcomes

This is your first isn't it? Trust me, you'll know about a day in advance when your going into labour. It doesnt just pop out like a birth in eastenders. It's a very gradual process and you'll have enough time to warn dh, even if you have a quick birth.

You're going to be awake all night every night in a few weeks anyway OP

:o

rainydays trust me you might not know in advance- both mine were born in under 2 hours with no notice! With dd I was 6 cm dilated when I had my first contraction and she was born an hour and a half later!

To those saying they're Computer Widows, I'd like to point out that it very much goes the other way too; how many Soap/Reality TV Widowers are there out there?

Everyone relaxes in their own way, would you rather someone who spends their evenings paying a tenner a month and sitting a few feet from you or spending the same money several nights a week in the pub?

I would like to offer op support.i know it sounds unreasonable but when I was heavily pg I felt very vulnerable and had a string instinct for my oh to be "ready" to help me during labour at any time post 37weeks. I felt worried, scared and emotional and felt secure having oh next to me in bed. I banned oh from getting drunk once I was 36 weeks pg. didn't want to rsk me going in labour with him out drunk.

The adrenaline will probably kick in once you go into labour. I don't think you need to worry about him not being rested. Fwiw I can see it from both sides. I wouldn't like DP telling me when bed time is, but your pov is also valid. Maybe find a compromise? He could come in a have a cuddle with you and then stay up late.

Slight wince as tongue firmly bitten!

rainyday not my 1st as stated before 1st baby came in just under 5hrs!! Was only at the hospital an hour last time before they said to there surprise and mine on my 1st examination you are fully dialated and need to start pushing at which point I burst into tears cos I wasn't ready. No slow gradual build up for me!

YANBU if he's disturbing you when he finally drags himself to bed which he clearly is.

I've seen threads on here where the OP is being woke up by their DH for snoring and everyone literally calls abuse!

Yet, heavily pregnant OP is having her DH coming into bed in the early hours because he wants to play his computer and disturbing her and her choice to try and sleep and everyone tells OP to get a grip?

WTF?

FWIW if DP didn't come to bed when I ask then we wouldn't have a relationship, he would stay up to all hours then come in like a frigging elephant and wake me up and hurt me trying to get over me.

And it's not OP's first baby, which means she is heavily pregnant, has other children to wake up in the morning to look after and her DH is still choosing to wake her up at all hours so he can play computer.

Since he appears be a night owl he shouldn't mind dealing with the baby through the night will he. Just think of all the lovely sleep you'll have then!