to expect dh to come to bed at a reasonable time?

[susiegrapevine]

Am 37 + 6 weeks pregnant so baby could come any day. Am soooo hacked off this morn as dh came to bed at 3am last night!! Night before it was half 2 and night before it was half 1. Considering I could go into labour at any point I would like him to be well rested and useful to me when it does happen! I am fed up with treating him like a child and saying come on its bed time now (which he only listens to if I really really push the point. And when he got up this morn his was like oh a fell asleep at my computer last night!! Arrrggg I'm so annoyed I can barely speak to him. AIBU??

I guess everyone here is either happy to be a computer widow or has no idea what it's like to actually be one :(

DH is a night owl and we have a deal that if he comes to bed after 1.15 he sleeps in the spare room - as my pregnancy insomnia means if I'm woken after then I won't go back to sleep at all (I discovered this the hard way).

TBH - he could go to bed at 11 and you could then go into labour at 2am.

What if she goes into labour at 9pm? Then he will have been awake all day!

Maybe he should just sleep all the time.

Oh, except in the afternoon, because that would make him useless

Shit, if I could go back to my last few weeks of childlessness I would revel in staying up late and snoozing in the afternoon.

You don't need support at 37 weeks with your first that means you need to dictate someone else's sleep.

My DH had the audacity to complain about how tired he was shortly after I'd given birth (we'd been up since 1am,) then went home to uninterrupted sleep whilst I spent the night on the postnatal ward, wide awake and worrying DS1 wasn't feeding enough. He's since loved to point out how he 'let me have a rest' when we came home- I practically passed out (for an hour) and DS was sleeping anyway, so it's not like it was any skin off his nose.
If your DH tries this, I hope you'll tell him where to go!
Seriously though, a non-accusatory chat about being in top mental shape for when the baby gets here might be an idea.

He isnt a child he is a grown up believe me he will be wide awake when you go into labour , jeez leave the man alone ,

Thanks everyone actually maybe I am being more unreasonable than I thought as am having a homebirth so no dangerous drive to the hospital as suggested. My labour with the my 1st was less than 5hrs from the 1st niggle till the end so I know it will be quick again hence why I need him alert and on the ball.

Plus to the person who said surely he knows when he tired well clearly not as he fell asleep at his computer!

Anyway have spoken to him about it now and he said he was making the most of it before baby comes and he thought that term in the pregnancy was 38 weeks not 37 so he panicked a bit and said omg nothing is ready! Also consdering my ds was born at 38 + 3 we do expect this one to come sooner rather than later. I guess its just pregnancy hormones making me crazy especially as my parents don't get back from hols till tonight and they are my childcare for ds.

"I guess everyone here is either happy to be a computer widow or has no idea what it's like to actually be one"

Ah, so you're projecting your own dissatisfaction with your own partner onto the OP. Now I understand.

I am not a computer widow. You know why? Because we have two computers in the front room and we chat while we both use them. Or I MN while he plays his XBox and we chat that way. Try it. Instead of being unhappy about your 'lot in life'.

"I seriously doubt he'll fall asleep midlabour"

My husband didn´t, but I did!

I agree to leave him alone.

Unless he disturbs you when he comes to bed-in which case, can he sleep elsewhere?

Oh gee...

You could have another 4 weeks to go! There are 24 hours in a day. You could start in anyone of them!

I woke up at 3.30am with proper labour pains after having niggles all day. Dh was just drifting off. He'd been staying up just go case bless him. He had more of a clue than me, even though I was 9 days late I wasn't expecting my niggles to turn into labour! He was tired but he coped.

susie if you are having a homebirth it is going to be a bit more laid back than a mad dash to the hospital , I think you are just anxious just relax and i am sure your husband will be fine and adrenalin will kick in if not get him some redbulll

Oh yeah and to those who said about night feeds I breast fed ds for 13 months and am planning to do the same with this one so no help there really.

As long as he is fit to look after 2yr old ds! Is more to the point!

Is this normal then? Two people spending all evening on separate computers ? My bad guess I got it wrong expecting partners to actually wanna talk to eachother :o note to self make do with virtual friends

I talk to my partner all the time. Via IM and Facebook.

I'm kidding. We do talk though, even while on separate devices.

Hmm also he did wake me up last night and then I had to go to the loo and I felt all hot and sick and had to sit up for an hour sipping water not good. Plus I did not know labour was immenent with my 1st as 1st sign was my waters breaking.
mrsjay I know there won't be a mad rush to get to hospital but am just thinking will have a fast labour so will be a mad rush anyway - prob am panicking for no reason.!

My DH did this alot in the last few months of my pregnancy. He'd come to bed at 2-3am almost every night and then get up for work at 7am. I didn't care as it meant I had more space on the bed!

He still does this most days. I don't care though. If someone's not tired how do you force them to bed?

I guess I just don't see the appeal :) the games are addictive and suck your life away. I'd much rather actually talk to people than yell at a screen!

A little bit OT but I just wanted to prepare you - I had a home birth with DD because DS had been quick and she took quite a bit longer!

Thought she'd be like a cork out of a bottle but she appeared to be in no hurry to make an appearance! Still thought the HB was nicer than being in hospital and DS (2 at the time) slept through it all and woke up as usual to find he had a baby sister, who he was completely uninterested in, and a new trike, which was much more fun!

...at the usual time, not that getting a baby sister was usual!!!

I was going to say, mothership, how many children have you had?

Tee

As I said before he was tired as he a) fell asleep at the computer and b) was yawning every five mins from the moment I went to bed! And all I ever say is you are not going to come to bed stupidly late tonight are you. His response no I'll just finish this then I'll be in, in a minute. Then I get woken at 3am by him rustling to bed partly due to the waterproof mattress cover!! Lol!

Anyway as I said he has apoligised and did not realise baby was so immenent and so panicked and has now gone to feed my mum and dad's cat for the final time. I actually feel a bit bad for slagging him off on here now he has been so sweet and understanding of the crazy pregnant lady!!

Oh thanks mothership to be honest would be good to have a little time to prepare mentally as was a bit of a shock with my 1st as he was sooo quick. Maybe that's why I am in a crazy panic now!!

In a minute is like in three hours In computer speak :o here's a thought you could kill two birds with one stone and give birth via web cam that way he won't miss anything and can play at same time :o

Welcome to the club kotinka I've been a little slammed on here nice to know I'm not alone! Really feel for the op it's not fun.