To not want the daily responsibility of 50 + animals?

[greenwichgroove]

I have posted some of this before

My gp has a lot of animals inc chickens, ducks, birds, dogs, cats, more than 50 inc birds, they require a lot of care/feeding/cleaning/grooming.

I have posted before but I do not get on with GP, All of their seven children and six grown up grandchildren live within two miles of them. Out of all of them I am the least close relationship wise. Infact I have had counselling because of past issues with gp but we weren't all treated the same so a couple of others are very close.they started this behaviour with my dds and I went mad and didn't go for a while prior to the time they needed care.

Gp will even ask me to come and sort something for him and then ask me to leave when the "favoured" children and grandchildren arrive even if in the past I had been previously asked to stay for dinner in the afternoon (prior to them needing care.

Anyway I seem to have been left caring for gp on my own and because of the level of care they want its getting to be exhausting, by want i mean they can manage a lot for themself but won't, they can wash, dress, make a meal and toilet etc but often won't unless we go but manages to make a full roast at weekends for the other relatives. we can't go on holiday, we can't go out for the day, its causing problems with work but at the end of the day its my relative and I do it .

Two of the others don't work and none of them have children that are young apart from me and I am a lone parent.GP is still quite spiteful to me and my dds.

What's worse if they have started calling me home from work or days out. Tuesday I was called home from work as to was "needed immediately" turns out he milkman hadn't been, the other day I had a day off work and went in in morning did breakfast and fed animals, brought shopping for lunch then went out. They knew I had paid for an activities for dds. Got a phone call as we got on bus saying I need to come home immediately. When I got back they wanted potatoes.

Anyway I go Monday to Friday and other relatives go for a couple of hours at the weekend for a meal and gp makes them a meal, GP has started ringing me in the morning to come and clean/groom and feed all the animals BEFORE they come for their meal. I asked why they cannot do it and been told "they are not one for animals.

The thing is I go longer hours at work in September, we already have no life as dds spend all their time after school there as it is and in a morning but Im going to end up having to get dds up at 5am to go and sort them all out before work :(

You should move. They are taking the piss. You are not being a bitch, on the contrary you are being far too bloody soft!

Well done on saying no this time. Don't back down now.

I know it is really hard however if your mother won't stop there is nothing you can do about that. She is an adult and capable of making her decisions. Your decision has to be to put your lovely DC first or they may end up resenting you or repeating your pattern of behaviour.

I would contact the RSPCA and let them take the animals without telling the rest of your family what you have done. The situation is beyond stupid.

Potatoes? Milk? What they're doing to you is at best manipulating you, at worst abusing. They need to fuck right off. You don't have to stand for this.

I think you need to move. As should your mum.

You need to get away from these toxic people.

I'm glad you are not craving anything from your gp. In that case, talk to your mum and tell her why you worry about her. Then stop helping. Try to support your mum but maybe she will also need to go through a stage of helping before she accepts how unreasonable her parent is being. Ideally of course she would decide straight off not to run to their beck and call and it would be fab if she managed just not to be available to answer the phone at strategic times (use phone display, maybe even re-route straight to answerphone?). If you set her the example and are there to support her she will hopefully emulate you and step back$ but if not, I would let her rather than ruin my own kids lives and set my kids such a crap example of doormat behaviour. But then again, I am v bolshy.

Well again today I said no, my mum turned her phone off. Another son who is an outcast like us received a call asking him to come immediately.

When he got there he was asked to go to the shop two doors away for bread. He said gp had bread and gp said ohh yes but I need bread for when favoured son comes! Because obv favoured son couldn't go two doors down to the shop

Keep saying no, Op. and tell your uncle to do the same.

Fuck them right off.

Oh and asked why favoured family going that day couldn't feed the animals "ohh they aren't ones for these things"

You see, the really sad thing is that you and your mum have allowed yourselves to be walked all over by these awful people, and they as a result do not respect you for them.

My guess is that the 'favoured ones' tell them exactly where to fuck off to when they make such unreasonable demands, and they like so many bullies then turn around and fawn at them.

Behave like the favoured ones and likely they will respect you much more too.

Good for you for saying no, OP. I am really pleased for you, and it is great that your Mum turned her phone off! Keep it up.