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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get annoyed by a solicitor pleading poverty?

55 replies

iloveberries · 05/08/2012 07:54

DBiL is a solicitor (graduated in 2001, did his conversion and been working ever since). DSiL is a teacher.

Whenever we see them he's always making little comments about how "it's alright for us" cause we have a "big house" etc etc. As a couple we probably do earn more but (a) who cares? And (b) why should I be made to feel guilty about this?

I've always thought as a solicitor DBiL would earn well anyway? He's hinted he's a lower rate tax payer but I can't imagine he's too far off. I don't care what people earn but I'm just fed up of him acting like they're so hard done by.

Now I am curious though, what would a (south east but not London) solicitor earn who's been working since 2001?

OP posts:

tryingtonotfeckup · 05/08/2012 11:35

Kungfu, I agree, I'm not a solicitor but I couldn't afford to go back to work after twins, I think we would have broken even on pay vs childcare costs, tax and travel expenses. Struggling to work out how to go back to work, in what field and fit it in with family after I've been out of the field for 4 years. Feeling really shit about it.

WorraLiberty · 05/08/2012 11:42

Why don't you ask him to his face how much he earns?

Surely it's no more crass than discussing his possible earnings with strangers on the internet?

TheLightPassenger · 05/08/2012 11:44

Agree with Worra, rather than him and you dancing around the subject, why not ask outright? In small firms, especially legal aid firms, it's definitely plausible he earns under 40K. It's rude of him to keep making digs about you being better off though.

notoutnumberedyet · 05/08/2012 11:51

well, pleading poverty may be a bit unreasonable if that's what is happening, however, many solicitors do not earn a lot of money, esp at the minute. It takes years of hard work and often debt to end up in a stressful job that may not pay very much.

Of course, some earn £££'s, however there seems to be a view at times that being a lawyer is something that just lands in your lap and is easy peasy! You do have to work for it really from school on and you may peak at fairly low salary on a 16 - 18 hour day!

Some self employed solicitors may even be working at a loss.

That's life of course at times!

Spero · 05/08/2012 11:59

You need to understand that being a lawyer covers an extremely wide spectrum of work and hence pay scales.

If you are a solicitor working for a 'Magic Circle' firm in London, you will be earning a massive salary. You are paid for your work by big companies, extremely wealthy private individuals etc.

If you are working on the high street, in family or crime, you could be very close to going under. The government pays for this kind of work and has been cutting the rates.

I do mainly publicly funded family law and I would not say I am wealthy by a long chalk. I earn a decent enough wage but due to housing costs I cannot save and if the Gov cuts the rates any further I will have to move from the South West to somewere with cheaper housing as there is a real risk I won't be able to pay my mortgage.

edam · 05/08/2012 12:05

Even if he's not fabulously wealthy now, the thing about professional careers such as law or medicine or accountancy is that they are a good long term investment - as he gets more senior, he'll be doing very nicely thank you. He's probably not comparing himself to the general population (average wage is around £25k IIRC). And if he has big outgoings, that's a choice he's made.

GoranisGod · 05/08/2012 12:08

My dh has been a solicitor for the last 16 years. He has worked in the same practise for the past 8 years and earns just under £45 grand.

I dont think its a huge amount of money to be honest as I am a sahm and we are def not living the high life.

If he were to become a partner then would possibly earn more but unfortunately you are expected to buy into a partnership and we just cant afford to do that.

Like another poster mentioned-the legal profession has been massively hit by the recession and dh's work have had to let many staff go. Its a worrying time....

Spero · 05/08/2012 12:19

He sounds as thought he is probably doing ok and may well be just comparing him to others who are better off, a common human faililng.

But I agree, just ask him if he is winding you up!

Large outgoings btw are not simply a matter of choice. I coudn't rent anywhere round here for less than £800 a month nor buy for less than £180K. With only a 10% deposit, my mortgage is huge. The only choice for me is to move to a much cheaper part of the country with no familiy or friends near by - not a great choice when you have a child settled in school.

TheLightPassenger · 05/08/2012 12:25

edam - it can be a good investment, but not inevitably. Some solicitors earn around the average wage, especially outside London.

notoutnumberedyet · 05/08/2012 12:29

no opportunity to become more senior if you have been made redundant as many solicitors have! long term investment not always yielding great returns.

Adversecamber · 05/08/2012 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisoldgirl · 05/08/2012 12:44

When did you buy your "big house"? Did you have parental help to do so?

In my experience, it's not your income that determines your levels of financial comfort, but your outgoings.

The single biggest outgoing most people have is their rent or mortgage.

Our household income is - in real terms - astonishing, but our style of living is much more modest than most people we know, simply because we didn't get onto the housing ladder for a long, long time.

Ambivalence · 05/08/2012 13:00

It may be that paying off hi loans fir law school ( you get up to 5 years for a first loan, and 9 years.fir a 2nd ( there is an extra year if you didn't do law as an undergraduate) delayed him getting intimately the housing ladder and hence he has a massive mortgage?

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 13:09

"oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I've got my P60 in my pocket, let's compare it to yours and see if we can help out in some way"

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 05/08/2012 13:11

I don't think it matters what he earns, he shouldn't be making comments like that regardless

Everyone just has to learn to live with what they have. Since I became disabled things have been really tough for us financially (and are only going to get worse) but I would never dream of bitching and moaning to people who are better off, if he really says 'well its alright for you' tell him to stfu and stop whinging like a petulant child

ReindeerBollocks · 05/08/2012 13:12

Solicitors don't all earn huge sums of money. What does confuse me is why one poster thinks that is a good thing. Three years of University, a further year on LPC and then two years training (on a very basic salary of minimum wage usually). Coming out of six years training on about £18k.

Why would this make anyone cheery? Personally I'd be thinking why the hell would anyone join that profession.

kungfu in the area I live, there have been several law firms that have closed and even more partners have taken massive pay cuts, and are lucky if they take home £30K. It is such a shame. I hope you are able to find a solution.

thisoldgirl · 05/08/2012 13:15

Almost everyone who bought their first home post-2005 will have a big mortgage, and it'll probably be based on joint salaries, which makes the costs of childbearing (maternity leave, lost income at a time of increasing cost) and then childcare absolutely brutal.

Student loans and career development professional training loans are also a massive problem for many supposedly high-earning households, and it's a problem that will get worse as tuition fees increase.

My guess is that you're a bit sensitive about your BIL's professional 'status' and he's a bit peeved that all his hard work and self-denial achieving qualifications hasn't paid off in lifestyle terms. You are both BU. Everyone's fighting their own battles, comparing is nonsensical.

ReindeerBollocks · 05/08/2012 13:17

OP, he shouldn't be discussing finances with you, especially if it's making you feel uncomfortable. Just change the subject in a polite way. Clinical negligence used to be bettere paid than it currently is, so maybe he has had to take a pay cut or isn't as well paid as you expect. It isn't as well paid as commercial law, and that probably rankles him, it may not be a personal thing to you, but his own issue.

edam it used to be the case that law was one of those professions where people would earn significant money the more years they racked up in the profession (due to the amount you charge escalating the longer you have qualified). However it is rarely that straight forwardd anymore. I know a few people who were on the brink of retirement who will be working for a lot longer than they expected and they aren't making massive sums of money.

Cashncarry · 05/08/2012 13:59

YABU to think that a solicitor shouldn't be pleading poverty - I'm in a similar position to Kungfu with the added insult of having been made redundant whilst on maternity leave - prior to that I was earning an average wage as a legal aid lawyer which was being spent entirely on childcare. I have absolutely no idea wtf I'm going to do now but rest assured that being a solicitor is not exactly a free pass to a lifetime of not worrying about money.

However I do think YANBU to be pee'd off at your BIL - perhaps that should have been the title of your thread! He sounds rude and self-centred and I'm sure that MN will come up with a clever comment to put him in his place!

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 14:38

Reindeer
I know a few people who were on the brink of retirement who will be working for a lot longer than they expected and they aren't making massive sums of money.

Yes, I know lots of people like that, though by chance none are lawyers.

Original poster

iloveberries · 05/08/2012 14:46

thisoldgirl - what do you mean by me being 'sensitive' about bil's professional status? I don't understand the comment.

We didn't have parental help to buy our house, we both earn well and we've been good at saving and going without and our 'big house' is a 4 bed detached, not a mansion which is why I put it in inverted commas!

The posts have been very helpful though - I just always assume solicitors earnt £50k+ but it's good to understand that isn't the case.

I think it's just a chip on his shoulder which is a shame as we get on well with them but he constant jibes are hard work!!

OP posts:

Katienana · 05/08/2012 15:02

Check out rollonfriday.com his firm might be listed on there with salary info. I work for a regional firm in the top 60 I think trainees are on about 18k but get their fees paid for the lpc before they start. nqs will be on about 25k. Solicitors 30-40k. Associates 40k plus. Directors 50-70k. Partners...£££! Ask him what his charge out rate is his salary will be roughly a third of that.

tuckchop · 05/08/2012 15:19

I had that daft talk from a builder. He said NO MONEY IN THIS JOB and droveoff
in his merc. Ohyea

forehead · 05/08/2012 16:12

As others have pointed out, not all solicitors are earning big bucks.
I am solicitor and i am fairly well paid (Human Rights) . However, if i was a commercial Lawyer, i would be earning much more.
One of my friends works for a charity organisation and earns 27k and another friend of mine works as an Employment Lawyer and earns 70k. So there is a variation.
Your bil may not be managing his finances well. or he may have debts to pay.
I do wonder why you are so interested in what he earns, it seems to be that there is an element of jealousy on both sides.

forehead · 05/08/2012 16:17

Agree with thisold- i think that you are definitely sensiitive abot his status

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