AIBU to have screamed wept and squirmed through a smear test and internal scan this week..

[lolaflores]

and to seriously not want anyone near my down there bits for a considerable lenght of time to come.
I know that it should not be so and it needs dealing with, but feel like I have been assaulted by a rhino. I keep crying thinking about it. Trying to explain to DH where the pain is and he just sort of gives me a quizzical look. He is being marvellous but what would the male equivalent be? A poker up the willy? The unfortunate smear was a surprise to me and the consultant, he was apologetic and I kept saying don't worry, its fine. It wasn't. By the time I went for the scan I was as tight as a very tight thing and they practically had to crow bar my knees apart. Indescribable pain.
thats all really. thanks for listening

Not read the replies - but how awful for you, Lola. I remember extremely painful examinations during pregnancy where I wept like a baby. Hope you're ok now x

cheers all. lola's fanjo is on the mend, praise be to God. Very bad tempered yesterday but improved today.
Thanks for all your thoughts

I don't find them painful but I do find them oddly upsetting, particularly internal exams, of which I seem to have had a lot lately - I always end up having to sneak off for a little weep afterwards. It's like some hormone gland's stimulated by the probing around.

I know what you mean wriggletto. In some ways, the worst part of labour

I had my first internal when I was about 7. Seriously. It still makes my blood run cold when I think about it now. There was some talk about thrush so they took a swab, not very gently and the pain was just overwhelming. Imagine. 7. But again it is a case of needs must. long time ago now though

I had my first smear aged 17, the most embarrassing bit was the nurse holding my hand through out! I never had any problems getting a smear until I had a baby and a coil fitted. Its not so much the pain (they always hit the cervix) but they horrible pukey feeling I get when they test twang the threads of my coil. Makes me feel ill just thinking of it. Next time I fully intend to be completely off my face. But for all those avoiders, it really does have to be done, you are mad not to get it done. Smears may be horrible for some of us, but I reckon cervical cancer would be a whole lot worse.

Wriggletti, I know what you mean. It does feel almost abusive, even though you know it's for a good reason.

wriggletti I know what you mean about the emotional side of it. I can't bring myself to do the deed the same day as I have had a speculum shoved up me. I need to clear my mind of the feeling of being forced open first.

wriggletti - Yes! I'd had smears which were uncomfortable, but not painful, but then towards the end of my pregnancy I had my first ever internal exam by hand - I had no idea what to expect and I did feel very tearful after - it wasn't the pain, but the invasiveness I think.

During labour I had a few very painful ones - but I was too busy wanting to get DS out to feel anything but the pain.

I pass out regularly with my smears. I go in relaxed...I've even had valium b4hand, prescribed specifically. No help. I have never had a straightforward smear test. I feel your pain (tho not literally right now)...

Ivana if you get your form from your surgery and travel to the South Coast I'll do yours for you!

I've had loads of smears myself and have been on both sides of the speculum (as it were) and truly believe that the smeartaker is the key to a successful and comfortable smear.

Some women DO feel more discomfort than others; some women do need a different position, or different speculum. The cervix can be sensitive and some women experience a degree of cervical shock (rare to have full shock but some do get quite unwell) and the smeartaker needs to be alert to all these things. There is no excuse for abrupt, thoughtless or insensitive treatment - whilst some women do need a little more encouragement than others us HCPs should always take the time to do that. A horrid smear can put a woman off for life and that's potentially very dangerous

I can't even use a tampon, and if I'm not totally relaxed, even my own husband can feel like fingers down a blackboard. I had a traumatic birth that still gives me flashbacks five years on, and when I needed a swab taking because I had period issues, the GP shouted at me because I was too tense. Bits of my teeth are literally falling out because I don't want medical stuff in my MOUTH.

I even booked a smear, but then I was ten minutes late, and when I got there the waiting room was empty, the check in computer had no record of me and the receptionist was on the phone, so I went home.

Is there any way I can explain it to dh? He seems to think they just kind of slightly poke you with a stick.

You know w hat would be useful? A kind of smear test lesson, so they could invite women to come and see the stuff, talk to the nurse and ask questions, with no pressure to actually have it done. I don't even dare to go and ask questions in case they shout at me and I have to run away.

Britta - actually I had that at a previous practice. The nurse booked two appointments: one dress rehearsal where she showed me the room, I got to know her a bit, and she let me play with the equipment; and the actual smear appointment.

Alas. She was off sick on the day and I got the very brusque school prefect nurse who called me into the wrong room with the wrong nurse and ordered me to get my trousers off. Massive panic attack - she had to fetch DH from the waiting room before I could even remotely calm down - and I haven't responded to a smear letter since.

But it was so nearly a good idea...

My surgery even rang me up and wouldn't get off the phone before I booked an appointment, but that was the one where I was 10 minutes late and it all had shut down.

Can they not have special clinics or something? Like with GUM clinics? So the nurses doing it would be really well trained and so on?

I know from having blood tests - you can get a nurse that winces and looks worried and that is terrifying and hurts, or you can get a nice nurse who does it so well you hardly feel it. Presumably smears are the same.

Sidge, is it any different doing a smear on someone you know? I'm overdue for mine and I know all our practice nurses really well so feel funny about getting my drawers off for them. Be honest, do you ever think "well I didn't think yours would look like that!" etc...

BagofHolly for me no, doing a smear for someone I know is no different. I have patients who are teachers at my DDs school and patients that I know loosely socially.

I always ask them if they'd prefer one of my colleagues to do their smear but they always say no they don't mind. And because I'm in uniform, in work mode, it really makes no difference to me - it might as well be your ear or your elbow I'm looking at; just another part of the body that needs attention. (But of course I'm very aware it's much more intimate and personal than that IYKWIM)

I tend to make a joke that I couldn't pick them out in a line-up and I won't call out across the playground that I know what their undercarriage looks like! IME most practice nurses are extremely professional. I have the same issue going for my smears etc as PNing is a small world and we all do training and updates together so I've sat across a seminar room with the nurse who's seen my bits!

Great to hear so much useful advice and support from everyone. there are lots of ways to make this event much more conducive to encouraging the reluctant amongst us to come forward rather than dragged.

Smears are agonizing for me due to internal problems, even for a few days after, and I've been unlucky enough to need them every year because there is always a bloody 'slight abnormality' which my GP says is due to my internal problems, but I get it done anyway because of wanting to catch cervical cancer early.

However it's something never avoid and get quite frustrated when my mates do.

I've only ever had one unpleasant smear, and that was because I didn't like the nurse doing it. Hard to relax when you don't trust the person rootling through your internal gubbins. I agree that the smear taker is the key for most people, although of course some women have additional physical reasons why it might be painful. The nurse at my last smear complimented my pelvic floor. I was flattererd, then confused, then mildly embarassed.

A really painful, aggressive smear is horrible and humiliating.
I had one a few years ago and the nurse was getting more and more angry that she couldn't get the clamp in - finally, in frustration, she yanked it out so hard that it made me bleed. It was such a shock that I just burst into tears and couldn't stop sobbing for about 5 minutes.

I now have my smears done privately. Costs me £120, all over with in 30 seconds and I barely feel a thing. Money well spent in my view.

Glad you're on the mend OP - I totally get what you said