To want to tell SIL to live somewhere else

[adeucalione]

Im certain IABU but need some perspective.

Six months ago SIL and her family gave us a weeks notice that they were coming to stay with us (they lived abroad). When they arrived they announced that they were coming back to the UK, that BIL had a job about an hour away and that they had already rented a house in our village. Two weeks later they moved in.

I don't know why they thought it would be a nice surprise because DH and SIL don't get on at all, and she has been very critical of me in the past - mainly parenting issues, although she is better since she had her own DD.

About 10 years ago we all lived in the same town and there was always a lot of tension - she is quite bossy, likes her own way, won't take no for an answer etc.

Anyway - I know that I can't dictate where they live or work but I HATE that they are here. I can't get used to bumping into them everywhere, or the fact that we now have mutual friends, or the fact that they drop in unannounced all the time, or the constant requests for babysitting (including whole weekends), or that they want their visitors to stay at our house because we have more space, or the fact that she is already planning what we will all be doing at Christmas.

There's nothing I can do. I have to learn to love this don't I?

I know you're trying to give the OP some motivation 50shades, but it comes across as insistent as the OPs SIL sounds.

Sometimes when you're in the relationship/situation with people who have close ties to people you love, it can be difficult to go against the grain and make a stand.

Get your dp to tell his sister that you are not a free babysitting service/guesthouse/social club and to stop pestering you. She'll probably be more likely to accept it from him because she doesn't view him as a pushover.

From then on refuse to babysit, take her guests, answer the door to her when you're not in the mood, don't do anything that she plans for you without asking first and that you don't want, practice saying 'no' and stop worrying about what other people think.