I have to say that my ILs are nice people in the main. However, they are very involved with the lives of their DC (my DH and his sibling) and I just find it so overbearing (nosy). We're in our thirties with our own DC but they persist in wanting to know every little detail about our lives, where we've been, what we've been doing. It's like they live their lives vicariously through me, DH and our DC and DH's sibling and partner (who also feels like I do, she is a good source of support).
Conversely, my parents have never been like this so I just can't connect with the constant need for family catch ups/calls/repeated Skype calls so they can see DC (and I mean every day, not like once a week or something). Maybe this is where the problem lies as my family model is very different - though that's not to say I don't get on with my family, I do, just that my parents respect me as an adult in my own right.
So as not to drip feed, the thing that has upset me today is that we have just moved away from the UK. In the short term, until we got a permanent address here, our post had been going to the IL's (for a month max) and they are coming to visit next week and bringing it with them. DH has just had a Skype conversation with his parents and they have opened everything and read it - personal stuff to me, my payslip, everything. We definitely did not ask that they do this. I know they were doing us a favour by letting us use their address for a month but this was all it was meant to be - not a chance for them to go through everything (and we weren't expecting anything urgent so there's no reason for them to do this). We now have a permanent address so are arranging for post to be redirected again but surely they should know it's wrong to open someone else's payslip without their permission? It's pretty obvious when it's one of those perforated envelope things and says the name of my employer on the outside!
And another thing - it feels good to get this out - they are coming here next week. They booked their flights without even asking if it fitted in with us and have just decided to turn up. DH will be in his new workplace all day and can't take time off so early into things so I'll be stuck with them. I don't want them here!!! I have just started to establish a few friendships with some local mums, not easy at times as mat leave here is very short, and I don't want to have to entertain them. To top it all off, we move into our new place next week and I just wanted it to be my little family getting sorted out finally and instead they'll be around in the guise of being helpful but generally getting in the way.
Gosh - super long but thanks in advance for any coping strategies anyone has.