Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i in the wrong here?

51 replies

anice · 03/08/2012 14:39

Please be gentle with me, even if you do think I am in the wrong!

I saw a (NHS) hospital consultant 8 days ago and she said i need treatment. I don't want to say what it is but it makes people feel queasy when i tell friends and family what they are going to do to me and I am nervous about it. From the little I know about it the treatment needs to be done asap and the consequences can be quite serious if my health problem is not addressed quickly. The consultant said that the treatment i need costs £5000+ and its not available on the NHS. Luckily I have medical insurance.

However, the medical insurance company blanched at the cost of treatment and they want a letter from the consultant before they'll sat whether I am covered or not. If I am not, then I'll have to use a lesser alternative offered on the NHS.

So I sent the consultant's secretary an email asking for the letter to be written and faxed to the insurance company. That was 8 days ago. I got an automated reply saying she was on holiday until last Monday morning, which I was ok about. Then the secretary emailed me on Wednesday morning to say she could offer me an appointment next week. I asked her when the letter was due to be sent as i needed the insurers decision. She didn't reply.

So today, Friday afternoon, I wrote again asking what the current state of play was, as the not knowing what is going on is making me anxious. An hour later, the secretary calls me on my mobile. She says she has the letter and what do I want her to do with it? Errr... fax it as described in my original request. Then she starts having a go at me that she's been on holiday, she's got catching up to do, she doesn't expect to have to hand hold me and what's the hurry as the consultant can't see me until next week anyway???

Am I being unreasonable, or is she?

OP posts:
wineandroses · 03/08/2012 14:42

She is BU. And she's probably in the wrong job.

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 03/08/2012 14:43

I think you are being a bit unreasonable
also struggling to think what treatment could be medically indicated yet not available on the NHS? Thought all necessary medical treatment was covered?

lisaro · 03/08/2012 14:44

It all sounds very dodgy. I'd see another consultant.

MrsBethel · 03/08/2012 14:44

She's in the wrong, but she sounds a bit stressed, so I'd cut her some slack. As long as you get your letter, I'd forget about it. If you carrying on being nice she'll probably apologise next time you see her.

AgentZigzag · 03/08/2012 14:45

You're not being unreasonable to ask her, and she was being unreasonable to try to palm off her shitty day/week onto you.

How is her workload your responsibility?

If she didn't have time right that minute then she should have said and then told you when it would get sent.

I can only think she's stressed, which happens to everyone, no need to pass it on though.

Hope you'll be OK and you get the letter/op soon Smile

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 14:45

TheLaineyWayIsEssex - I don't know whether it should be, but its a newish drug and I know its isn't available (probably because its so expensive).

OP posts:
TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 03/08/2012 14:47

Oh I see - typical that it would be cost related. Horrid that you have to go through all this when you are concerned for your health though

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 14:48

She had the letter by the time she called me, only a short while after I sent the email. How long had she had been sitting on it? She didn't have to write it, just put it on a fax machine...

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/08/2012 14:48

So I sent the consultant's secretary an email asking for the letter to be written and faxed to the insurance company. That was 8 days ago.

This imo is where so many people go wrong nowadays.

Telephone and speak to people...it's only way to get things done fast/faster.

You would have been told she's on holiday, and you could then have explained what it is you want and you would have been passed to someone else to deal with it.

diddl · 03/08/2012 14:50

Of course you´re not in the wrong!

What the fuck did she think she was supposed to do with the letter?

Don´t the insurers need time to process it before your appointment with the consultant next week?

And it´s already FRi afternoon, so the next day back is next week!!

JumpingThroughHoops · 03/08/2012 14:50

I saw a (NHS) hospital consultant 8 days ago and she said i need treatment.

The consultant said that the treatment i need costs £5000+ and its not available on the NHS.

drumming up business for private practice?

From the little I know about it the treatment needs to be done asap

I'd be researching very carefully before committing myself

JumpingThroughHoops · 03/08/2012 14:51

but its a newish drug and I know its isn't available (probably because its so expensive).

Is it licenced yet?

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 14:53

I thought I handled it well when she called me. I thought I'd just said, please fax it... you'll find the exact details on the email I sent you a week ago yesterday. But when she started going on about how she has just got back from holiday and implying that I was being difficult, I did reply to say that I'd have understood her POV if we were having this conversation on Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. However, as we were having it on Friday afternoon when she'd been back at work all week....

I thought I was calm, but when I came off the phone, my DS asked me "What's wrong Mummy?" so i must have sounded upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 14:56

WorraLiberty - i did phone, but the phone just said she was not available and leave a message. Then I decided to follow up with an email as there were numbers (fax, insurance and case numbers) that I needed to give her so for sending the letter. Its because I phoned her that she had my number to call me back today.

OP posts:
Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 15:00

JumpingThroughHoops - I know you are right. The problem is that its a rare condition so I don't know anyone that's ever heard of it.

I tried googling and all I can find is it being offered by US doctors. I guess that means its been licensed by the FDA and they are quite strict though??? At least I am holding onto that hope.

I just know nothing about this, so I have to rely on the expert's advice.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 03/08/2012 15:05

I would be having a second opinion

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 15:10

The problem is that to get a 2nd opinion, I need to go back to my GP and start all over again (according to the insurance person whom I called to check whether the letter had been sent or not before I did the chase up email) . Its taken a month of tests to get this far and I don't think I can risk leaving it another month without treatment.

I am really not comfortable though.

Also i made a mistake with the googling because you quickly get to websites where people are discussing how it can all go wrong with this type of procedure. Trying not to think about it now!

OP posts:
bahookie · 03/08/2012 15:11

hi - the secretary probably genuinely was still trying to catch up following her holiday. NHS (as i'm sure other public and private organisations don't either) doesn't tend to provide temp cover for sick/annual leave. you probably aren't the only patient looking for a quick response from her either - as well as her dealing with the consultant. having said that it's not right to moan at the 'customers'.

not sure where you are but have you looked at similar (if elsewhere in UK) to the scottish medicines consortium - there are procedures/processes to go through to get new drugs approved and used by the nhs.

hope you get well soon.

bahookie · 03/08/2012 15:14

oh sorry have i misunderstood and it's an operation rather than medicine that is needed?

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 15:16

its a (nasty) procedure to put some v. expensive medicine into me.

OP posts:
bahookie · 03/08/2012 15:25

fingers crossed your insurance will cover you if the nhs can not do it. hope all goes well too. sometimes i think it's better not to know what they are going to do - the old saying ignorance is bliss. i also think that people posting on medical type forums tend to be there as they have had not too good an experience - there will be lots more who don't post that have had a really positive outcome.

Paiviaso · 03/08/2012 15:26

Personally I think the secretary realised she was being daft asking you something clearly stated in an email, and got defensive about it.

JumpingThroughHoops · 03/08/2012 15:29

Ok - lets not go into the dynamics of your illness/complaint - but there must be a tried and tested procedure available on the NHS?

Have you looked to see what is available?

The whole thing about drugs not being funded, rare condition etc makes me highly suspicious (but that is my nature anyway)

lisaro · 03/08/2012 16:35

Sorry but he's drumming up business and she's complicit. They know full well the insurance won't cover it. You're being rushed into taking this procedure and you'll end up with the bill. This screams of dubious practice (politely put). OP pay to see another consultant if you must. A couple of hundred pounds will save you a fortune and a lot of pain and heartache.

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 17:18

Ok... not sure what to do now. The secretary said she'd fax it at 2pm. PPP said they'd give me an answer 90 mins later, so i called at 5pm and it still hasn't been delivered.

I am getting really angry with this woman now and I feel like telling her boss that she's just lost her thousands (she's employed by the consultant, not the NHS). But that would be cutting my nose off to spite my face.

However, if she won't fax the letter, then I am stuck not knowing what to do.

OP posts: