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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i in the wrong here?

51 replies

anice · 03/08/2012 14:39

Please be gentle with me, even if you do think I am in the wrong!

I saw a (NHS) hospital consultant 8 days ago and she said i need treatment. I don't want to say what it is but it makes people feel queasy when i tell friends and family what they are going to do to me and I am nervous about it. From the little I know about it the treatment needs to be done asap and the consequences can be quite serious if my health problem is not addressed quickly. The consultant said that the treatment i need costs £5000+ and its not available on the NHS. Luckily I have medical insurance.

However, the medical insurance company blanched at the cost of treatment and they want a letter from the consultant before they'll sat whether I am covered or not. If I am not, then I'll have to use a lesser alternative offered on the NHS.

So I sent the consultant's secretary an email asking for the letter to be written and faxed to the insurance company. That was 8 days ago. I got an automated reply saying she was on holiday until last Monday morning, which I was ok about. Then the secretary emailed me on Wednesday morning to say she could offer me an appointment next week. I asked her when the letter was due to be sent as i needed the insurers decision. She didn't reply.

So today, Friday afternoon, I wrote again asking what the current state of play was, as the not knowing what is going on is making me anxious. An hour later, the secretary calls me on my mobile. She says she has the letter and what do I want her to do with it? Errr... fax it as described in my original request. Then she starts having a go at me that she's been on holiday, she's got catching up to do, she doesn't expect to have to hand hold me and what's the hurry as the consultant can't see me until next week anyway???

Am I being unreasonable, or is she?

OP posts:
lisaro · 03/08/2012 17:25

I'm you're not listening. Have the dubious treatment. Wait for the bill for the money. Pay it.

Original poster
anice · 03/08/2012 17:31

I won't make the appointment until PPP give me the go-ahead. I've said that clearly three times now (twice in writing, once on the phone).

I've been reading up about it on news websites. It seems that it used to be the treatment of choice in the NHS but my health authority have decided recently to substitute it for a much less expensive drug. So, its not new after all.

OP posts:
goodygumdrops · 03/08/2012 17:40

Maybe she is dealing with more urgent referals or queries? Its hard to say without know what your condition is and what the treatment is. I think you are being unreasonable.

dappleton · 03/08/2012 17:40

I don't think either of you are in the wrong, I think you've misunderstood each other and wound each other up the wrong way. The 'what I put in my original e-mail' as a response to the 'what should I do with the letter?' said nicely would be fine, said in the wrong tone would wind-up a busy person straightaway.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/08/2012 17:52

The secretary is in the wrong here. She works for a medical consultant so every one of his clients will be anxious and she should be aware of that. If she cannot deal with anxious people then she is in the wrong job.

WelshMaenad · 03/08/2012 18:30

Consultants secretaries are bitches of the upper echelon. My dd's consultants secretary was do gucking rude to mr that I made sn official complaint. YANBU. They power trip over patients because it's the only power they have in their sad little lives.

WelshMaenad · 03/08/2012 18:30

Ha! So fucking rude. Not gucking. Obvs.

Sallyingforth · 03/08/2012 19:12

If it's not approved by NICE for NHS use, it's unlikely an insurer will pay.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 03/08/2012 19:52

Wow, there's a lot of bile directed at medical secretaries here.

WelshMaenad, I'm sorry that you've had such a shitty experience, but I can assure that nearly all the ones I've met are not as you describe. (There was one exception, but you can find arseholes everywhere!) I think you're being pretty harsh.

When the consultant takes on too many patients and doesn't have enough clinic slots to cover them, the secretaries are the ones that get it in the neck. When the consultant hasn't gotten round to dictating the letter, or releasing the notes, again the secretary gets the blame. I'm not saying that's certainly the case here, but it could very well be.

That said, if she's been genuinely rude without provocation, then by all means put in a complaint.

I hope you get it all sorted out soon OP.

GhostShip · 03/08/2012 19:55

Get a second opinion.

I find it a bit dodgy that something isn't being offered if the consequences of not having the treatment is 'quite serious'

Dawndonna · 03/08/2012 21:03

I too find it highly unlikely that if something is potentially 'quite serious', there is nothing available on the NHS.

Shenanagins · 03/08/2012 21:46

Ok, here's my tuppence worth on this. I have a medical condition and there is always some new magic cure coming up - my consultant has told me to speak to him first before pursuing any of these as there are a lot of dodgy stuff out there, not his exact words but you get the picture.

Secondly, you are going private and therefore paying for a service so you should not be putting up with shitty service. Unless this consultant is the leader within this field, go elsewhere as you are paying for it, you will not need to wait.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/08/2012 22:11

Maybe she is dealing with more urgent referals or queries?

Then you tell the sick, frightened person you are talking to that! Like when I rang my consultant's secretary recently to ask why, three weeks after a scan, I'd heard nothing. She said she would make an appointment but it would be a while in the future because he had a lot of cancer patients to see.

I said of course, I understood, just wanted to know it hadn't been forgotten.

That is a totally normal convo, and patients obviously aren't mind-readers and can't tell the sec is dealing with a terminal case or similar.

Original poster
anice · 07/08/2012 11:27

Not sure if anyone is still following this but the letter finally got sent yesterday and treatment was approved. Last week I was penciled in for treatment this week, pending the insurers approval. I've got that in writing explicitly in an email.

However this morning the secretary wrote to say that it will onyl be a consultation this week and treatment will be delayed by another week. So that will be a 3 week delay to treatment whereas every bit of guidance I can read on the web, including the NHS says it should be dealt with asap and not more than a week after diagnosis because every day is a risk.

I wish it was not so, but I think someone (the secretary or the consultant) is playing fast and loose with my health.

I think i am going out of my mind with worry here. I could be left permanently disabled at any moment.

OP posts:
EleanorHandbasket · 07/08/2012 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slartybartfast · 07/08/2012 11:33

and what would happen if you didnt have private medical insurance.
doesnt sound right at all.
still, at least the wheels are in motion.

slartybartfast · 07/08/2012 11:34

although i am sure the consultant would get you in sooner if it really was necessary. they dont delay it for 3 weeks for fun

Original poster
anice · 07/08/2012 13:01

NHS advice (on their website) is that treatment should be within a week of diagnosis and that the initial appointment should be no more than a week after the condition is first suspected by the GP or whoever. NHS does provide treatment but its using a lower priced drug.

OP posts:
510 · 07/08/2012 13:13

Google the direct number/email for the consultant, think about exactly what your concern is, write it down then call or email him and ask for his personal (privately paid for) help. Then stop using your energy to bleat on MN.

Good luck with the procedure.

kickassangel · 07/08/2012 13:17

I can believe this. My parents neighbor, a man I knew all my life, was left to go blind as his hcp didn't cover the only drug that could help him. He was on a national TV show about the NHS failing the nation.

The NHS treatment was to let him go blind then he could apply for disability grants.

If he lived in the next HCP area, a mile away, he would have got the injections to save his sight.

lisaro · 07/08/2012 18:54

If you were that worried about 'permanent disablement' and it was that important you'd take the NHS treatment.

kinkyfuckery · 07/08/2012 18:59

If you were that worried about 'permanent disablement' you'd pick up the phone and SPEAK to someone!

ImperialBlether · 07/08/2012 19:05

My consultant (for psoriatic arthritis) has warned me that 'new' means 'less tested.' It's worth remembering, imo.

MrsHelsBels74 · 07/08/2012 19:06

I'm a medical secretary (for a few consultants) & always go out of my way to help patients so we're not all rude bitches!

bahookie · 07/08/2012 20:32

ok so it sounds like you are not being treated on the NHS and your insurance is going to cover it. you/your insurer can pursue why there is delay and if you have already seen the consultant who advised going private for this treatment, why do you need to see him/her again for another consultation? have you phoned the secretary? is there maybe other clinical reasons to delay. your consultant may not think that you do need to be treated as urgently as the literature says?

i do understand it's a different drug the NHS would have given you. but if this is as urgent then you would likely have had the treatment by now as NHS is generally excellent at emergency/urgent treatment when required.

ps how did you know that the secretary was employed by the consultant and not nhs? strange thing for NHS to allow...normally like to get 1 secretary covering several consultants and pile on the work!