WIBU to cut my nose off to spite my own face?

[thepeoplesprincess]

So far this holiday I've been asking my mum to have the DDs for an hour or so a couple of times a week so I can keep up with my regular gym classes.

And she has done it, but with as much snidey ungraciousness as she can muster up with every fibre of her bitter, menopausal blackened soul.

Should I just refuse to engage in her pathetic little power games and stop asking her? But then it's only me who misses out at the end of the day.

Yes, I would.

I would ask the gym to put on a creche facility or find a friend that I could swap a favour with.

Our gym is quite happy for dd to come with me and sit and play on her tablet (they let her connect to their wifi) or read a book by the reception desk, or play with the babies in the creche - she's 9.

I would ask for another favour over my dead body.

Is there a gym class with a creche locally?

I would make alternative arrangements. I wouldn't enjoy my time at the gym in those circumstances anyway, so it's not cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Just as an idea, there are a lot of older teenagers home from uni at the moment, and they'd be really glad of earning a bit of cash for babysitting for an hour or so.

Can hardly believe what I've just read. If your mum is menopausal (poor woman) then I imagine you are quite young - but in your op you come across as a particularly unpleasant 13 year old. With attitude.

What is she like with your DDs? I used to be sent to grandparents who obviously bitterly resented it and took it out on me! I wouldn't send them to be honest based on what you've written here.

You could always ask Mintyy to look after them, she sounds lovely.

mintyy I kind of agree with that. We don't know what else I'd going on.

Perhaps she doesn't want to look after the dgc for a couple of hours a week?

It sounds like she doesn't want to do it, but feels obliged to.

My DH is pretty good - I go when the gym opens (6 30 am before everyone is up) or in the evenings when he is at home.

Find a gym with a creche. That way everyone is happy.

It's only the gym, not anything massively important

Nah, I don't think it's looking after the kids that's the problem. She actually likes them. It's more the idea that I might be spending time and money to do something nice for myself instead of sitting at home feeling like a piece of fat, ugly shit (like she does) that she resents.

And I'm neither horrible, nor immature Mintyy. Just a perfectly, normal person who's sick to the back teeth of being made to feel like crap for no good reason.

If you haven't grown up with a "D"M like mine, I get why you may think I'm the bitch in this situation. But really, I'm not.

but with as much snidey ungraciousness as she can muster up with every fibre of her bitter, menopausal blackened soul.

Maybe she senses your attitude towards her and feels used.

How often do you take her out to lunch?

Nah, I don't think it's looking after the kids that's the problem. She actually likes them. It's more the idea that I might be spending time and money to do something nice for myself instead of sitting at home feeling like a piece of fat, ugly shit (like she does) that she resents.

And I'm neither horrible, nor immature Mintyy. Just a perfectly, normal person who's sick to the back teeth of being made to feel like crap for no good reason.

If you haven't grown up with a "D"M like mine, I get why you may think I'm the bitch in this situation. But really, I'm not.

God you sound charming

Such hatred yet you are happy to use her....do you honestly think your dc don't pick up on any of this?

I think you'll have to give us a bit more background, OP, and examples of how she makes you feel like "crap for no good reason". If the relationship is so bad I'm not sure why you want your children spending time with her.

Pay a babysitter. Sorted

Why don't you find someone you like to look after your kids?

Ugly isn't just a physical thing.

bitter menopausal blackened soul
i have to say, that's a great description. I think I want one of those. Dh would probably say I have

I don't understand why if you dislike her so much you would want her looking after your children?
' A bitter, fat ugly shit' My God, I wouldn't leave my most precious possessions in the care of someone I described like that.

She actually used the words "a bitter, fat, ugly shit" to describe how she thinks her mother FEELS ABOUT HERSELF.

Well as someone who grew up with a mother that got insanely angry and jealous if either of her daughters achieved anything or became "better than you should be", I can understand the OPs pov.

But, slagging her off when she is doing you a favour isnt on. Either dont ask her and give the gym a miss for a few weeks, or do what I do and be bright and breezy as if you havent noticed anything is wrong if she starts.

I dont ask my mum to look after the kids but she still does this sometimes and i just act as if I havent noticed anything. I have to deal with her, but I dont see that I have to deal with her issues.

Find a paid cm or babysitter. Alternatively go when your partner is home.
I would be heartbroken if my ds spoke about me like you are about her. She is fine to look after your dc though as it suits you? You sound pretty nasty tbh.