WIBU to cut my nose off to spite my own face?

[thepeoplesprincess]

So far this holiday I've been asking my mum to have the DDs for an hour or so a couple of times a week so I can keep up with my regular gym classes.

And she has done it, but with as much snidey ungraciousness as she can muster up with every fibre of her bitter, menopausal blackened soul.

Should I just refuse to engage in her pathetic little power games and stop asking her? But then it's only me who misses out at the end of the day.

OK, fair enough, I am a vile bitch with a filthy attitude.

But trust me, it's her I learnt it from, and it's her that always starts it........

And I don't really "want" to ask her, but I can't afford to pay a babysitter so there's no choice if I ever need childcare as I can't afford a babysitter.

That may be the way it's written, but it certainly comes across as the OP's opinion rather than her mum's self analysis, after all, the poster hasn't sugar coated anything else she has said about her mother.
I also speak as someone with a bitter, angry etc etc mother, with whom I have a terrible relationship. I don't however ask her to do me favours though when it suits.

God, you're foul

"It's her I learnt it from"
Might be worth trying to break the cycle then? It would be tragic if your children pick up all that hate.

Learnt behaviour can be unlearnt..... You have 2 dd's so think on!

Wow, what a truly horrible thing to say about your own mother whatever the circumstances. You sound absolutely vile OP.

Might be worth trying to break the cycle then? It would be tragic if your children pick up all that hate.

*Being serious now, I am. I'm currently undergoing an intensive treatment programme for Borderline PD.

if you dislike her so much and don't like the way you were brought up why are you willing to subject your kids to it?

neither you nor your mum seem happy with this babysitting arrangement so maybe its time to change it

Well good luck with it op.

Get some home gym equipment instead... Do a DVD..... Walk or run

Op if she is this bad I'd seriously keep your dds away then.

Well that's a good thing peoplesprincess, I really hope that you can be helped.
There are obviously very serious issues, which only makes me more convinced that the contact your children have should be limited. I don't know why you would want to risk them being exposed to whatever you were when growing up?

I feel for you OP.

My DM has her moments, as yours - its a tough one, unless you've been through it... and have no one else to turn to, and so desparately need time to yourself.

As long as you can be sure this isn't being filtered to the kids - which is highly unlikely, I think you should limit contact - for all your sakes.

You need some help with your view on you, glad you are getting it.

pay a babysitter? You sound disgustingly ungrateful. I'd tell you to go fuck yourself

Well, OP, you'll probably be menopausal one day.

Just saying.

Pay a baby sitter or do a childcare swap. If I was a granny, I would want to help out in such a situation but I expect some people are less supportive.

I think I have a bitter menopausal blackened soul today. I thought I was skipping periods but now have had a 14 day cycle. Grrr.

There's obviously a lot more going on between you and your mum than the issues over whether she looks after the kids though. I can't talk for her, but you've obviously got an attitude going. Whether it's justified or not, it's impossible to tell because we only have one half of the equation. Why not sit down over a cup of tea with her, and have a frank chat about how you can improve your relationship.

Can't really understand why you would choose to let your DD's spend time with a woman you feel such animosity towards.

Even if it is so you can go to the gym

I wouldn't babysit for anyone that thought I was a bitter menopausal blackened soul or an ugly fat shit.

Maybe your kids will think that about you one day.

I can see where the OP is coming from although she seems very harsh its impossible imagine how it makes you feel having parents who seem to resent you/their grandchildren/everything you do/delight in revelling in every screw up you ever make etc.
The best thing to do OP is never let them put you in a situation you feel the resentment and vitriol from them. Its a shame and they also miss out ultimatley but the only way you can ever get out of this cycle is by being self sufficient

Maybe your kids will think that about you one day.

Maybe they will, but seeing as I haven't made it my vocation in life to make them feel as shit as possible, it's far less likely than you might hope for.

My mum is not a nice person, has given me countless problems in my life, made me feel inferior, emotionally and occasionally physically abused me.

For these reasons she does not look after my DD. Whether i want to go to the gym or not.

I wouldn't leave kids with someone you seriously think has a blackened soul to be honest. Cut it off and you won't have to get involved in any nonsense.

I think the only thing your mother has done wrong is to bring you up with such a large sense of entitlement and such unpleasant views towards her. Look after your own children.