flaky, let you down at the last minute, type people?

[yeahbaby]

AIBU to get fed up with them?
have a friend who is always full of great ideas, but she NEVER follows them through. to the extent that she can arrange a night out, meal and drinks with a group of 8 people, and she will be the one who wont turn up.
she will ask you to go to an activity with her and when yo turn up and go in, she isnt there.
you will invite her to a party and she just wont turn up.
when i spend time with her, she is great, nice woman, fab family, all round is the kinda person i like. except this part of her personality.
aibu to just walk away from the friendship cause to me, being the way she is is just rude.

Walk away - I did with a friend like this - I ran out of patience.
it is rude and selfish and bloody annoying.

Friends are people you can rely on.

I see this behaviour more and more these days. I am genuinely interested in why it happens as it makes no sense to me whatsoever...

Do we all know/tolerate one person like this? I have a friend who is brilliant but does my head in for being late and disorganised, I wonder how she keeps a job down!
It sounds like its your friend whose missing out though?

YANBU. I have a friend who regularly pulls out of planned meet-ups. The last time was because her her husband needed her to drive him to his work appointments because he was too hungover to drive himself! I had rearranged 2 doctors' appointments and work commitments in order to see her, so I was mightily pissed off. Especially as said husband owns a law firm and could easily have paid for a taxi....

YANBU!!

My mother is one :(

I have a friend like this. When we do get together, she's great company but every single time we make plans, she inevitably turns up late. For example, invited her and her kids over for lunch. Two hours after they were due to arrive, I had to start without them as my kids were starving. Turned out she'd decided to go shopping and just lost track of time.

She's always offering to have my kids to give me a break or to babysit for me but, having been let down too many times because she was late or just plain forgot, I never take her up on her offers.

I haven't given up on her altogether but we hardly see each other these days as I find it's just too much hassle.

I blame the mobile phone/text messages, meself. yep.

Seriously, there once was a time when an arrangement was just that and not to be broken without good reason. Then came the fucking mobiule phone and meeting times became stupidly elastic, then with texts all got worse to the point where... oh god CBA to even finish this post -

YANBU. Phase her out.

I phased out a similar friend, who was a nice person but was always late, inconsiderate and everything had to be to her agenda. Whenever I arranged something with her I always had this annoyed knotty feeling in my stomach because I would know that she was going to be late, and that the whole thing would be a faff.

It made me feel and annoyed at myself because why was I putting up with such a crappy friend.

So I phased her out and now feel soooo much better.

YANBU. I had a very dear friend who I fell out with last year because of her flakiness. We only talk when/if we bump into each other now. Shame really, because we had a lot in common and laughed alot together. I just couldn't forgive her making me walk about 2 miles into town suffering with SPD and with my 3 year old, and then find she wasn't there.

I'm a bit like this- I find it very difficult to be organised, tend to be late and find it hard to follow through on my brilliant plans. I think I am getting a little bit better with age but it's still a massive struggle at times. But she sounds rude to me- not turning up at all when you've organised the night out is totally crap!

YANBU

I have a friend like this and it does my head in. She always let's me down at the very last minute when I've had lunch on the table for her or am waiting in the restaurant for her.

I've given up now. It's awful to do that to people.

scummy, i didnt organise, she did. asked everyone, booked a table, took deposits, then just didnt turn up.
has done it with a lunch date, a night out, and various times that a few of us have got together for a coffee. as well as other times.

I hate flaky people. They are the worst.

I am that person sometimes

I work with a lady like this... she'll agree to come to the theatre/meal/whatever, to the point of paying deposits and then on the day she can't make it... sometimes at teh last minute I'll get a text - she's 'ill' or the cat has thrown up or something. It's sad, but we just don't invite her anymore.

It says that their time is more important than yours....v arrogant. Sorry to offend anyone...having private rant over person that just did it to me recently

I am that person, I suffer from depression but none of my friends care enough to know this !

People pleasers really want to say no but cannot and letting others at a later date, down is less important.

I figure that if the flake doesn't turn up, or whatever, then they don't value you enough for either side to wish to maintain a friendship.

When I went on maternity leave, a former colleague kept asking to meet up both before and after my DD was born. Four failed meet ups later, I gave up responding to her comments about DD pictures I'd put on FB along the lines of, "I can't believe I haven't met her yet", for fear I would write, "What can't you believe? The fact that you live half a mile up the road and make an excuse every time I try to arrange a meet up?".

Another friend phoned to say she'd love to see me and my DD again after a long period abroad, but couldn't leave the house even for an hour as her DP had a sore knee I've not invited her round again as I can take a hint.

you should tell them englishpigdog - think most people are v understanding and will accommodate fluctuations in your mood if they know

sometimes it's my mental disorder, when can't leave the house for what seems like no reason or am decompensating again for no reason but sometimes I just get into a muddle with arranging too many things at once and there is not much excuse for that is there?

I am also that person.

I do have genuine medical grounds tho, and all my friends know this. Whether or not they choose to tolerate it is their choice tho tbh.

I quite often have a personality crisis and feel like the people that i have arranged to meet aren't actually interested in seeing me and that i shouldn't waste their time.

Logically, right now I know that it's madness, but try telling me that when I'm in tears- frozen to the spot because I can't work out whether to hide in my house or go out and face them.

englishpigdog, how do you think your friends would react if you told them? A friend once confessed to me that she had an embarrassing illness that would flare up from time to time and prevent her from keeping her word.

I felt relieved (apart from her illness obviously) that it wasn't that she didn't care about me.

Mrscumberbatch- I'm stunned as you've just described me and I didn't even know it! Serious lack of self esteem. I bit the bullet and went pit with a group of people who I've always felt aren't bothered about me and even don't want me there... And had a lovely time!