To ask you Vile and Nasty Mumsnetters to tell me to Bugger off and DON'T COME BACK!

[ohChristFENTON]

Come on, do me a favour, you can be as mean as you like - I simply have to get away from Mumsnet, I need to spend the school holiday doing quality time stuff with my children and de-clutter my house hence improving my life in general, and I can't do it sat on here reading all this chatter..

Okay, do your worst.

I had a 6/7 year break from here. The addiction has returned. S'up to you

I have now got another cup of coffee and 5 celebration chocolates to eat.

fenton, just put your shit in the bin and have done (whoops... pot,kettle,black....) I can't get off the settee tomake a cuppa ...............

Try SockPuppetry. That should get you banned!

I did consider that Saggy, I should start a thread about doing something inappropriate, and then sockpuppet to defend myself. I may have to send another sockpuppet in to set the ball rolling too, maybe a trollhunting sockpuppet.

I can't believe the lack of assistance being given. Truly it's a nest of vipers. Help the woman!

OCF: STOP reading about parenting your children and go and start PARENTING YOUR CHILDREN. You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't!!! Reading about decluttering and planning to declutter are not the same as decluttering. No-one wants to hear your views on either of these topics because of your piss poor level of actual experience and amount of work done - GET TO IT.

whoops to criticise your life style, well at least not on a wednesday

That thread is funny...who the fuck thought up a Herman cake? I've never heard of it.

A Herman fry up would be more gratefully received...a box with eggs, beans, hash browns, bread and veggie sausages in is what I need right now

Can you ask MN for a temporary ban? I think I've seen that mentioned somewhere before...

That was actually quite good TheSurgeonsMate - I do believe my bottom lip trembled a bit then.

Right, off to charity shop with the stuff that wouldn't sell.

I want to see some real flaming when I get back, - have I told you I'm a terrible stepmother by the way?

surgeons mate, those mummies are too busy washing their wellies, and telling their little brats how wonderfully perfect they are, to be here at this time of day !

O, thanks, OCF.

And you needn't turn the computer back on when you get back - WE WON'T STILL BE TALKING ABOUT YOU!

People wash wellies? Haribo and cider sound a much better idea!

Don't leave Fenton. Re terrible stepmother ... It's character building. They'll thank you when they are terribly successful in the future.

fenton, I am a more evil step mom than you could even try to be..... and I said put your shit in the BIN not the fucking charity shop, I've avoided it on fleabay, dont let me find it in oxfam (well ok I don't actually go in oxfam - its too dear !!!)

fenton...fenton...where are you......do I have to go on you tube to find you ?

woolfie I'm with you lets crack open the cider.....

I have had a lovely break from MN over the last few days, courtesy of the Olympic Eventing. Still meant I was sat on my Tongan arse though .

Scarlet It was a new one on me too. And there's me making cakes with eggs, sugar and butter I've bought from the shops like some kind of atomised capitalist drone.

Mmm cake.

Cock off CUNT! Go be a parent!

I still have some Scrumpies in the fridge! It's gone midday now as well

Those poor children :( Has anyone mentioned calling Social Services? Making your children fend for themselves in a filthy pig-sty is CHILD ABUSE, OP, have you never heard of NEGLECT? You are damaging them for life, you're not fit to be a parent :(

And your poor step-children. They feel like second-class citizens, the poor mites, with nowhere to turn and no-one to care for them. Your selfishness is astounding.

You disgust me

I've always wanted to do that!

oh garlic I think thats the spirit that fenton was looking for, and I can multi-task, just watched the rowers win gold ! well done girls !!!

My arse is glued to the sofa, iPad on knee and rowing on the telly, got absolutely loads to do today but just want to stay here.......