Our baby isn't even born yet and I allready feel like nothing I do is right. My DP comes from a very big family and they all seem to have made the same parenting choices, they see anything I do as wrong.
It started when I was about 7 weeks pregnant and I mentioned I would like to use cloth nappies not because of any environmental reason or worries about pfb's bum being eroded by chemicals purely because we have fre washing and drying where we live and using cloth nappies will save us around 2 grand for one baby all of his sisters and his parents sat around laughing at me saying how disgusting and old fashioned it was and how it was verging on abuse as our child will probably have red hair and be more likely to have nappy rash (logic?) his sisters didn't use cloth nappies where as I have cared for babies in cloth nappies so I don't see why they have an opinion as they have no experience. I left and was in tears, I was a little over emotional due to early pregnancy hormones.
Next his sister came to my 12 week scan, it was kind of her as my DP had to work. Here (in Sweden) they usually only have 1 scan at 18 weeks but I wanted a 12 week scan as I was very anxious (the baby took 2 years to conceive and it didn't seem real) she told me she disapproved of me having a 12 week scan as it was unnecessary and non of the family had done it, I said it was only one extra and we'd get a 3d scan done at the beginning of the 3rd tri and it was normal in the uk to have a 12 week scan, she was talking about it like I was allowing my baby to have nuclear weapons tested on it.
The most major issue is my drinking, my DP offered me a teeny beer at a party I said no thanks I'm waiting for my glass of wine at Christmas (baby is due on the 8th) mil was just horrified saying I was selfish snd risking dc's life and she thought the sight of a breast feeding woman drinking wine was disgusting. (bf doesn't really seem optional here it is what every mum does) my DP was great he said she has no right to judge me as mil has smoked through all her pregnancies and smokes infrount of her grandchildren and when I'm sat next to her.
Other issues have been me liking the idea of a water birth (you can't have a water birth in Sweden) and them saying it is unnatural I'm not a dolphin. Names, mil hates all the names we like just not going to tell her till after the birth now reigns (sp?) child abuse again apparently.
Should I just tell them I don't want their opinion even if that upsets them? Any nice ways of saying that?