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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's to leave an 11 year old and a 13 year old home alone on a friday night?

43 replies

NikitasSidekick · 31/07/2012 10:15

Have been asked to do an evening shift at work Friday, 7pm until 11pm. 4 hours. I'd be home by 11.20pm.

My children are 13 (but very mature, doesn't have friends around, doesn't really do much of anything!) and 11 (glued to his xbox).

AIBU in thinking they'll be fine with a few telephone numbers by the phone? they've already been left before - with safety instructions, know not to use the kitchen, open the door to anyone etc.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:17

If you are happy, then do it. They are old enough and as long as they don't fight and have phone numbers and you are near enough to come back if there is a problem, then I can't see why not.

NagooingForGold · 31/07/2012 10:26

Only you can decide.

I'm not hoisting my bosom based on the info you've given.

KellyElly · 31/07/2012 10:26

They should be fine for a few hours at that age. You'll just have to stipulate no parties Grin

WilsonFrickett · 31/07/2012 10:28

I was left with a newborn to look after when I was 13! I'm sure they will be fine if they are as sensible as you say. I might just spring it on them though rather than giving them time to invite all their mates round

Trills · 31/07/2012 10:28

They'll be fine.

Trills · 31/07/2012 10:28

Probably.

Don't come to me if they are not.

Sunnydelight · 31/07/2012 10:29

If the 13yo is happy to be "in charge" and they haven't got the kind of relationship whee the 11yo wouldn't listen to him if necessary I can't see why not.

My 13yo babysits for his 9yo sister now. We are generally back by 11 if we are in the city (30 mins away) but have done midnight (10 mins away).

FillybusteringForGold · 31/07/2012 10:30

I think they should be fine. Do you have a neighbour/family member who can pop in around 9/10pm for 5 minutes, just to check they've eaten their dinner, turned off the oven and are generally ok?

itsatiggerday · 31/07/2012 10:30

My Mum used to leave us at this age, but checked with neighbours if they were going to be in so we knew we could call someone local if we needed to. (ie didn't have to be a 999 emergency before we could act). We never did and were always fine, but it was nice to know we could and that they knew we were home by ourselves. If you've got anyone suitably nearby, it might make you all feel a bit more relaxed the first few times.

guanosoup · 31/07/2012 10:34

My two are the same age, I have left them twice this summer when I have gone to work. They were so amazingly sensible Shock that dh and and I popped to the pub for two hours last Friday night...
Only you know your children, and I do admit to phoning home ridiculously often...
Check the nsppc website about leaving children at home, the law says its all about your judgement of how safe you feel they'll be.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 31/07/2012 10:39

My oldest are 12 and 14 and I'd be happy to leave them and they'd be fine (couldn't actually do it because of 8yo DD but in principle) However, friend at work gets asked to do similar shifts and her DDs (same age) hate it and don't like being left at that time and under those circumstances I'd say no.

If you're happy and your DC are happy and you can trust them, then go for it. Is it a one-off or do they want you to do it as a regular shift?

StewieGriffinsMom · 31/07/2012 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoComet · 31/07/2012 10:43

My two, 11 and 14 would be absolutely fine.

I've left the 11 on her own once from 7-10.30 (she refused to come to a high school concert).

She was a bit nervous when we got back as the hot water makes stupid noises.

She'd have been perfectly happy if the thing hadn't gone on quite so long or if she'd had DD1 there.

DD1 is a panic free zone, she isn't

christle · 31/07/2012 22:55

Someone reported me anonymously to social services claiming that I'd left my 2 kids, aged 14 & 9, on there own for full week cause I couldn't get time off work. This wasn't true and I was able to prove it, however I was told that although they have to follow up any complaints they wouldn't normally take action anyway unless they considered the children to be in any danger. So long as I felt my children were mature enough to be left they wouldn't have had a problem with it even if it had been true

lovebunny · 01/08/2012 00:00

too young. wouldn't leave a younger child with an under-sixteen, and probably not with most sixteen year olds.
i have been the older child left in charge -not nice.

bubby64 · 01/08/2012 00:07

I have left my 2 11yr olds on their own for 3 hrs in an evening twice over the past couple of months, ok, i was still in the village, and our neighbour 3 doors up is willing to check on them if I wanted, but it wasn't required. They can go to her, and have several contact telephone numbers for me, DH and relatives. They actually behave better when left as I kept re-iterating they are now becoming more mature and should be able to behave themselves!

ItsAPileOfBalls · 01/08/2012 00:07

They should be fine - only you know your own children but if they are sensible then 4 hours is nothing really.

CointreauVersial · 01/08/2012 00:15

Depends on the child.

I couldn't leave my nearly-13yo at night-time, not because he isn't mature enough, but because he'd worry too much. The 11yo couldn't care at all, but is much less sensible.

WorraLiberty · 01/08/2012 00:15

You can't ask internet strangers about this

It's your call and yours alone I'm afraid because only you know your own children.

Salmotrutta · 01/08/2012 00:28

Hmm - up here (Scotland) you could be charged with neglect if you left an under-16 in charge of an under-14 yr old and something happened.

I'm always amazed at how many people leave young adolescents at home alone looking after younger siblings.

Salmotrutta · 01/08/2012 00:30

By the way - I never let mine even come home from school and be alone for an hour until the were about 15 and 13.

And I wasn't even happy with that but my parents and MIL were very close by.

BonnieBumble · 01/08/2012 00:33

I think it is too young.

Having said that, at 13 I had various babysitting jobs and even looked after young children overnight. I wasn't a good babysitter and wouldn't put my own children in this situation.

whois · 01/08/2012 00:38

Salmotrutta I feel bad for your kids to have so little independence. At 15 to not be allowed to be at home for an hour after school? Very sad.

11 and 13 should be fine for a few hours. You know If they are sensible.

Around that age I loved it if my parents went put for a few hours and left me home alone. License to watch junk on TV and eat a twice out the cupboard. Rock and roll!

NoComet · 01/08/2012 00:38

I'd certainly never ever suggest to DD2 that DD1 was in charge.

DD2 is fiercely independent and would resent it big time and play up.

In fact in any kind of emergency she'd actually instinctively let DD1 take over.

Despite being the outwardly organised, clever one, as I said above, it's her who panics.

Outwardly scatty, dizzy DD1 is non of those things, when it matters.

lovebunny · 01/08/2012 01:11

Salmotrutta I feel bad for your kids to have so little independence. At 15 to not be allowed to be at home for an hour after school? Very sad.
bizarre put-downs are commonplace on mn. what a disrespectful comment.

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