To think it's to leave an 11 year old and a 13 year old home alone on a friday night?

[NikitasSidekick]

Have been asked to do an evening shift at work Friday, 7pm until 11pm. 4 hours. I'd be home by 11.20pm.

My children are 13 (but very mature, doesn't have friends around, doesn't really do much of anything!) and 11 (glued to his xbox).

AIBU in thinking they'll be fine with a few telephone numbers by the phone? they've already been left before - with safety instructions, know not to use the kitchen, open the door to anyone etc.

YANBU - Fine as your two kids sound sensible for 13 & 11. The 11 year old is too young to be left on his own but ok with a 13 yr old who sounds very mature.

I think it always depends on the children's personalities.

My sister & me used to fight & argue all the time at that age (& throughout our teens).
I would have been fine on my own at age 13 but my sister really knew how to wind me up & i fell for it every time!
So we would have to sit & chat to our elderly neighbours when Mum was at work & Dad was out.

The neighbours were happy to have the company & we got fussed over, plus Mum was relieved to know we wouldn't be fighting.

When we were older we'd still go & see our neighbours regularly because they were a lovely couple; or we'd go out to see our own friends from school.
But we definitely could not stay home alone together - sad, really.

Happily my sister & i are now very close & rarely argue. :)

I'd feel slightly uncomfortable doing this, but it's obvious you have thought about it and prepared. If the younger child was 8 or 9 I'd say it was way too much responsibility for the 13 year old but I'd feel this was about the cusp of ok so as others have said, you need to decide based on you knowing the kids.

The question I always ask though is, what if something did go wrong? What would happen? Do you have a neighbour or someone very close who could get there mega fast?

It depends on the child. At 13 I just to look after my 11 year old sister, 9 year old brother and 3 year old brother, but I wouldnt leave Dss (12) on his own for 5 minutes!

Not unreasonable if you think they are mature enough to cope.

I've done it. No problem.

I was left alone every saturday night when my parents went out....in the company of their friends daughter who was three years older. we were around the age of your DC...we were ok but my "friend" made my life a misery.

Depends onvhow they feel about it. My 13 year old has been left in charge of her siblings while I am in village BUT if she says she doesn't want to or doesn't feel ok about it I wouldn't leave her.

If you don't think they will burn the house down and feel comfortable with it (and so do they) of course you can. It is only 4 hrs.
I was left with my step-brothers from about the age of 6. (they would have been 11, 9 and 8) we were fine - they occationsally gave each other black eyes but I don't think that has got anything to do with being left home alone.

Definitely have 2 TVs... cos i think that's what me & my sister fought over the most - yes, the TV control!!

I think it's fine. I am astounded that there are parents who wouldnt leave a 15 year old on their own for an hour. At that age they're sitting gcse's and doing work experience!!

At 14 I used to look after my 6 year old asthmatic sister while my mum worked in the evenings. It enabled us to have this stuff called 'money' which is pretty handy for buying food etc...

"I am astounded that there are parents who wouldnt leave a 15 year old on their own for an hour. At that age they're sitting gcse's and doing work experience!!"

Agree. At 11 and 13 my sister and I were flying half way across the world alone 3 times a year to see my parents when we were at boarding school and they were living in the Far East.

But I suppose some children are not trustworthy. I wonder if I'll feel happy to leave ds2 alone at 15, given his enthusiasm for playing with power tools, dangerous chemicals, and electricity. But then he has got ASD.

OP - I would have no problem leaving my dd and ds1 for an evening as you describe. They're 13 and 9.

I think the OP would be justified in leaving her children alone, providing they are happy with the arrangement. I leave my own DC's alone frequently during the day, but they (my own) would not be happy being left until 11 at night, unless they were allowed to stay up that late. On a weekend that would be fine with me, but not on school nights. From a safety point of view, as long as they have a few phone numbers they can call then they should be fine.

My boys will be 11 & 14 in September. They are so different..

14yr old has no SN or anything, loves making fried egg sandwichs on the gas hob and basically messing around with all things that are dangerous, to be honest Im not sure I would trust him to keep an eye on his brother.

But I would trust DS2 to keep an eye on his brother!! However although hes happy for me to pop round a friends or into town for an hour, any longer, he gets worried.

So another year or two for mine

YANBU. Sounds totally fine to me.

OK - so those of you who "are so sad" that a 15 year old wasn't left alone clearly didn't read my post properly.

You know - that bit about possible charges of neglect if an under 16 was left in charge of under 13?

If it had been just my 15 year old DD actually on her own without her younger brother then that would have been OK. But they arrived home at the same time and usually argued like cats and dogs.

But never mind, feel sad for them if you like . They are all grown up now and appear to able to put one foot in front of the other.

Well, I would - our two (the same ages) will be home alone between about 7 and 10 this Friday, but we will be just round the corner.

We quite often leave them together, though usually for less time, and they are fine. DD is "in charge" and goes and tucks DS in and gives him his goodnight kiss if we are not back in time