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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'm not very well

49 replies

MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2012 09:33

Ds1 is 6 and ds2 is 14 weeks.

I've had depression before but not post natal.

I just don't feel right. I was fine straight after birth, doing school run by day 3 etc. We're 4 weeks into the summer holidays now and I feel I'm losing my grip on it all.

Baby is good, sleeps 11 hours at night, feeds well etc so I really feel I've got nothing to feel bad about. I just can't put my finger on it.

I get angry easily. Ds1,s behaviour is really winding me up and getting me down but everyone around me keeps saying. I'm being too harsh on him. He doesn't listen and I don't have it in me to keep repeating myself. So I shout.

I'm tired but I'm getting my 8 hours a night.

Dh is at work all the time. I have my mum and sisters near by but don't really want to see them and I don't know why.

I can't put my finger on any of it, don't know how to explain. I yah so paranoid about developing pnd first time round and I didn't. Previous depression was before ds1 was born. My mum was hospitalized with pnd when she had my sister. No one talks about that, it was 30 years ago. I don't even know if that's what is up with me.

OP posts:
MadreInglese · 31/07/2012 09:35

Please go and see your GP if you don't feel right

Original poster
MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2012 09:36

I wouldn't even know what to say though.

OP posts:
pictish · 31/07/2012 09:37

Just tell them exactly what you've told us. x

GetOrfMoiIand · 31/07/2012 09:38

You poor thing, you do sound very down. I really think it would be a good idea to have a word with your GP, or HV if you get on with her. I know you don't fancy seeing your mum and sister, but if you are close perhaps it is worth speaking to them.

Please don't suffer in silence though, PND does creep up out of nowhere. I think at the very least you need to talk to someone in RL.

GetOrfMoiIand · 31/07/2012 09:39

Yes, write down the points in your OP and take that along just as a prompt.

MadreInglese · 31/07/2012 09:40

Exactly what you've said here, write it down to take with you if that would help

sheeesh · 31/07/2012 09:41

IN my experience my HV was easier to talk to and more sympathetic than GP.

I had PND with both mine - when I had DD1 I never got any help and was awful. DD2 my HV picked it up and was a great help. In each case it started when the DDs were about 5 months - not straight after the birth.

ADs and counselling helped.

HeathRobinson · 31/07/2012 09:41

If you're tired, yet sleeping ok, you could be anaemic?

MadreInglese · 31/07/2012 09:42

I thought that too Heath

GetOrfMoiIand · 31/07/2012 09:42

I think that is a good idea re blood tests to see if you are anaemic as well - belt and braces.

Original poster
MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2012 09:43

I love my baby so much I don't think there's been any bonding issues and that makes me think its not pnd and me being flakey. Everyone says I'm coping so well and I am I think. Some days I'm out doing great stuff all day, other days I don't even wash my face.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 31/07/2012 09:45

I'm sure you're not being flakey!

Your OP sounded as if you have concerns that are really making life hard for you and a GP is the best person to help - if you are worried, you could write stuff down and take notes in? I've done that when I was feeling really scared I'd say it all badly, and they won't think it's strange.

Even if you are coping well, you are obviously not enjoying it and that is not fair on you, and might be avoidable.

Original poster
MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2012 09:46

My health visitor is beyond useless and I know her professionally through work so bit tricky. She came round the other week to give me a tick list question thing. My score was low, she happily said I was fine and left. Whole thing took less than 5 minutes.

OP posts:
Lovelynewboots · 31/07/2012 09:47

It sounds very much like how I felt with PND. You will not be able to rationalise it. Go and see your gp. The sooner you are treated the better. I kept putting off going and thinking I was ok. You will feel a lot better I promise.

glastocat · 31/07/2012 09:49

Straight to the doc for you missus.

GetOrfMoiIand · 31/07/2012 09:49

Oh you are not being flakey. I bonded with my dd and loved her to bits, my PND manifested itself as self loathing that I wasn't good enough, and over protectiveness. I used to sit there holding her feeling bereft and crying constantly because I loved her so much and I was so useless and didn't deserve her.

It was also waves - some days I would feel relatively normal, and go out etc, and some days I would just sit there looking at the walls, paranoid.

In any case I think PND manifests itself in all kinds of ways. The problem is if people say you are coping so well, it almost acts as a spur to keep on coping even if you feel down. It is almost as if you feel ashamed in asking for help (well I did anyway).

I really hope you can speak to someone in RL to get some reassurance and help.

GetOrfMoiIand · 31/07/2012 09:50

Do you have a GP you get on with?

Mind you though when I plucked up the courage to speak to someone with my pnd I saw a GP I had never heard of before - I was very apprehensive but he couldn't have bee more helpful.

Original poster
MrsKeithRichards · 31/07/2012 09:51

I think because I look like I'm coping and I've got a textbook baby I don't deserve help. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 31/07/2012 09:53

It's a classic thing that people say when they're depressed, though, mrsKeith.

Of course you deserve help. It's clear from your posts you are not happy - why shouldn't you be happy?

BartletForTeamGB · 31/07/2012 09:53

It might be PND but might be post-partum thyroiditis or tiredness due to anaemia or a number of other things, so see your GP and just tell them what you've said.

SparklingGoldMedals · 31/07/2012 09:55

The GP will do the tick list score sheet with you again. Please go, and just talk to them.

valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:01

People with PND don't tend to love their babies any less OP.

It sounds like you need a visit to the GP, please make an apt.

valiumredhead · 31/07/2012 10:01

And I hope you feel better very soon :)

SirBoobAlot · 31/07/2012 10:07

Call the doctors, love. Here is the Edingburgh test if you want to take it again without the HV hanging over your shoulder.

Just because everyone thinks you're coping really well doesn't mean you have to feel okay.

Take care.x

Kaloobear · 31/07/2012 10:08

I felt similar to you but more anxious than down. I finally went to the GP when DD was 8 months but not before because I didn't think it was really depression, didn't think I deserved help when I had such a good life, and didn't think they'd be able to do anything. The only reason I went in the end was because DH begged me to and a thread on here was really helpful.

The GP was wonderful, put me on ADs, talked to me about what kinds of things would be helpful for me (ie I love reading and research ordinarily so she suggested books on the topic that would be more useful than cbt sessions I'd have to wait months for), and listened to me talk as the floodgates opened. I've been on ADs for two months now and I don't feel normal but I feel SO much better and can see clearly that I should have gone to the GP so much earlier-it was the illness that prevented me from seeing it at the time. It might not be PND but if it is you will feel miles better for going, and if it's not, they can find out what it is and help. I hope you feel better soon OP.