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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave a 3.5 yo on her own?

64 replies

Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:12

It's just been brought to my attention on another thread that I'm wrong to leave my 3.5 yrs dd unsupervised downstairs for half am hr and that I need to 'get off my fanny and supervise her' nice huh?
I am wrong in thinking I shouldn't have to entertain her 24/7? She's up from 5am and a bundle of energy.
Is it so wrong to put Peppa pig on and leave her to it for a bit?

OP posts:
clemetteattlee · 30/07/2012 23:14

You shouldn't have to entertain her but you probably should be nearby... What are you doing for half an hour whilst she is alone?

FutTheShuckUp · 30/07/2012 23:14

I must be wrong too then

Ketuk · 30/07/2012 23:15

I don't think a 3.5yo should be alone for half an hour really, unless in a very safe place. How child-proofed is your home?

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2012 23:15

It depends on what you're doing upstairs imo

If you're doing housework or having a bath with the door ajar then YANBU

If you're sound asleep in bed, it would probably be best to drag your duvet down to the couch.

Best of both worlds.

marriedinwhite · 30/07/2012 23:16

Providing the environment she's in is entirely safe, no I don't think that's wrong but am sure lots will be here soon to contradict that. But whispers quietly, I used to put dd in the cot and close the door and turn the baby monitor to silent so I could give ds 30 mins of quality time and have been vilified for it on here. Actually if we hadn't had a big house and if I couldn't have shut that door for the odd 30 mins and taught her to drop off to sleep on her own (as she cried all the time until she was nearly 2) I think I might have been sectioned.

niceguy2 · 30/07/2012 23:17

Shit, someone better call social services on us then cos our youngest (was 4) has been getting up himself and getting his own breakfast and a drink before turning the TV on and watching the kids channels for a bit before we get up.

I best not mention that he's 5 now and allowed out to play on the street on his own.........

gobbledegook1 · 30/07/2012 23:17

Nothing wrong with it IMO.

StateofConfusion · 30/07/2012 23:17

I have a 3.8yo and I do it, but I do have captain sensible bossy grassy arse ds who's 5 and tells me if dd so much as holds the tv remote wrong.

She's never slept through, she's a pita to get to sleep and she never stops. Sometimes I have to breath.

Op yanbu.

spammertime · 30/07/2012 23:18

You know your 3 year old, you know your house. I don't think YABU on the basis you are presumably making an informed decision!

You are lucky though. I just wouldn't be able to trust my 3.5 year old. If he was quiet I'd be VERY worried!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:18

Usually housework, or a bit of 1-1 with ds. Not sleeping, I wish!
Only recently she's found her way in to the kitchen and started munching random things so can't really do it now anyway...

OP posts:
Springforward · 30/07/2012 23:19

YANBU, you have to shower/ dress sometime, surely? I pop down to check DS is ok periodically, and all nasty stuff is in locked cupboards though.

Inneedofbrandy · 30/07/2012 23:23

YANBU they do need to learn to entertain themselves.
Mine were getting their breakfast and watching telly to niceguy2 once they were old enough to get out of bed and switch it on.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 30/07/2012 23:23

Well I'm going to have to give up my treadmill for the next six weeks then, as I'm usually on it for half an hour and then I have to go and have a shower afterwards. Hmm

I usually leave the dc's pretty well occupied and they know where I am. If my house isn't childproof by now it's probably never gonna be. I must be a bad mummy.

LJ29 · 30/07/2012 23:24

I'm not sure you are BU but I would be anxious. My DS at 2 once put something in his mouth and was almost turning blue at the point I realised he was choking because I wasn't looking at him, despite being in the same room and he couldn't make any noise. It still makes me sick to think what could have happened if I had been upstairs for any length of time. Having said that you cannot be with them 24 hours a day and never take your eyes off them. Could she play with some toys in her room so at least you're close by?

Socknickingpixie · 30/07/2012 23:25

if your house is effectivly child proofed you are able to hear and your child has no arson tendancies combined with spiderman type talents then yanbu.

ofcourse if half an hour really means 4 hours and you are having a kip or getting stoned and also have a newborn your dc is looking after then yabu Grin

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:25

The nasty stuff is locked away.
Except she did find ds paints and I paid the price for sneaking off to do the hoovering that day!
My problem is as soon as I turn my back now she goes it the kitchen and herself to random things.

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 30/07/2012 23:25

I have a nearly three year old, live in a bungalow, and normally need half hour to fourty five minutes of a morning for my pain killers to kick in. For that time, DS is entertaining himself, either in his room or in the front room. He comes in to talk to me, or I call out to him. He's safe, and happy, and I don't feel guilty.

And if, as a single parent, I didn't leave him alone to entertain himself briefly sometimes, I would never get anything done.

So there.

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2012 23:26

YANBU at all then

Though obviously you need to keep her out of the kitchen

Can you put a sliding bolt on the top of the door?

keely027 · 30/07/2012 23:26

Don't know if it's wrong but my mum used to do it as she used to work from home as a machinist. She used to check on me every 30 mins. In that time I managed to swallow a open badge, which got stuck in my throat and if my sister hadn't seen it and shouted for my mum..god knows. Another time, while watching a cooking programme decided to reinact in the kitchen with oven, oil and eggs. Don't understimated the strength and speed of small childen !

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:28

Shhhh sock don't tell everybody!

OP posts:
Socknickingpixie · 30/07/2012 23:28

how old is ds the owner of the paints?

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:30

Eek keely sounds scarey!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 30/07/2012 23:32

He's 7, but it the tv is on (only way she'll sit still for longer than 5 mins) he's completely tunnel visioned and she could get up to all sorts and he'd be oblivious, if not they squabble!

OP posts:
Inneedofbrandy · 30/07/2012 23:32

I second the kitchen lock idea!

keely027 · 30/07/2012 23:34

I can still remember being hung upside down and whacked on the back like a mad woman.